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Posted on 2007.04.16 at 22:00


leonardii at 2007-06-08 03:34 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Nick-names

Persona is a tricky think. We expect that others are giving us their persona (and leaving out, or at least mostly hiding their true inner self), when in fact - they just might be showing more of their true side of their nature than we know!!

But therein lays the trap of when people write dialogs/posts/or whatever they say in their personal blogs which when they write their own words on their personal site, or when they retort or respond to others. Which part of what did they say was persona, and which part was their actual true self? It's not like anybody announce: OK, everybody pay attention now... this is my true self speaking. But, we must constantly read the persons responses - and if we can read between the lines well enough, then we can at least start to perceive part of that inner self that inadvertently always slips through the cracks in the dialog.

It sounds like you've been through some tough times - so you know the side of poverty, so at lest you know what the true feeling of what being truly poor feels like. I don't know who Tom H. is... but whoever he is or whatever he has done, he's certainly left an indelible mark upon you.

And no, very rarely and very seldom do I tell outright lies. I may leave out certain truths when I feel it's necessary, but I do not try nor do I want to just come right out and say false things about my life.

So - perhaps we will understand each other better than when we first realized.

snapper521 at 2007-06-08 22:49 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Thomas C. Howe is my dads cousin. He's about 20-22yrs older then me. And is the lowest, slimiest, lying prick of a male human I have ever had the misfortune of meeting/getting to know.

Back when I was 12/13 my parents went into business with him, thinking that they could pull him out of the gutter he has always resided in since they have had quite a bit of financial success.

(They own and opperate a trucking company, hauling canned milk for the Amish. The milk is taken from the amish farms to a factory where it's made into cheese. The cheese is then sold to the tourists and so forth.)

Anyway... back to my story now that you have a bit of background.

When he first came into my life, he was about 32, and discusting. My first impression, was "he is dangerous, don't trust him" this, was the child in me speaking. I was still enough of a child to listen to my instincts. And -- they were screaming red alert. For quite awhile, I listened to my instincts and stayed as far away from him as I could, but then I let my guard down because my mom took me by the ear and said "Look, he's gonna be around for awhile, get used to it, and be nice." So I did. I tried to be nice, and in doing so allowed my guard to get put down.

About this time, he got a girlfriend, and started to openly drink a lot more. His girlfriend had/has 3 children, one girl and two boys. Now, I believe that Cassie had those two abortions not because she was a slut and sleeping around at school, but because Tom raped her.

There was some issues with his drinking, a knife and myslace right around this time, which I will elaborate later if you wish, however this is just an overview of what happened in those 2 years.

While he was a full partner to my father in the business, he lived with us, and was "playing the part" pretending to clean up etc... he didn't clean up, was just pretending to. Along with being a full partner, mom and dad gave him full access to the bank accounts, his own credit card etc... he maxed everything out, drained those accounts and put my parents in the hole majorly.

He moved out if this house and into one with his girlfriend (eventual wife) after living here for about a year. Starr eventually divorced him, after beginning to realize that there were problems between him and her daughter.

In the meantime, my parents took back their things, like the trucks (plural) he bought, and the semi-truck he drove for the route. Along with the snowmobiles, the horse, the 4-wheeler and the other "toys" he bought. They sold everything except the semi-truck (since they needed that) and that helped a little bit, but they took a pretty good beating from the credit card company, and just the basic all around loss because of spending X amount of money on this toy, then only being able to sell it for about 1/4 what they paid. The horse was really the only thing he didn't "beat up on" and cause it to be difficult to get much money out of it. We got her for $200, sold her for $800. So that helped, but he beat her while he had her, so she was very very skittish, and hard to handle, along with the fact that she was a barrel... not a good horse, just fat, stubborn and mean.

Meh... I feel like I've talked for a long long time, but I know there is more I haven't covered...

Now... as you can imagine, them taking that much of a loss in all the "things" he bought... pushed them over the edge. For awhile they had some problems with their marriage, but finally they realized that if they didn't get them resolved... that we, the kids, would suffer all the more.

They got in touch with a credit card thing-a-ma-bob which helped them pay the cards off, got some help from family, friends, the bank, and did A LOT of praying.

Now... 7 yrs later... :-) we're doing alright again. Not wealthy, but not dirt poor anymore.
leonardii at 2007-06-09 14:19 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Typical scumbag. I don't know how they are born into existence - but it always seems that everybody knows one.

I know quite a few... and keep them as far away from me and my family as possible.

I don't know what to say here, babygirl, but keep your head up and let things work themselves out. Hopefully, he will do something stupid enough to land himself in jail... and then prison. That will certainly change his attitude. :)
snapper521 at 2007-06-09 17:23 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

*smile* He's been in Prison, it hasn't helped much. *shrug*

I'm a lot better now then I was. It's taken several years to recover, but I've been thoroughly educated. :-P
leonardii at 2007-06-14 23:37 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

What was he in prison for... if you don't mind me asking?
snapper521 at 2007-06-15 02:54 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

I don't know for sure but I think it was jail bait rape or stealing money. Those were the two things he was always getting caught for. Pretty sure that it was the rape charge though.

He had 3 or 4 tats, 2 of which he got "in the joint" as he put it. He didn't/doesn't have a drivers licence because of to many DUI's.

He's just a nasty character all around.
ehowton at 2007-06-09 17:27 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Its been my experience that being in jail doesn't do a damn thing to rehabilitate anything.

My brother acted in the same manner after the first time he was in jail as he did the 20th time he was in jail.
leonardii at 2007-06-15 00:17 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Was your bro in jail or prison. Because I've been in jail... and it's really nothing. It's not pleasant by any means, but it's hardly anything that would scare me into a life changing moment. I've been to jail twice - once for a felony and the other for a misdemeanor. Both times - nobody fucked with me. In fact, being a former vet - I was treated by some of the other "brothers" with a somewhat great deal of respect. The hardest part about being in jail is just the sheer boredom... and it's fucking COLD!! I think they keep the temperature in the place at about 60 degrees. Probably 1) to keep the growth of bacteria to a minimum, and 2) to keep everybody docile. Most of the time we just laid in our bunks, covered by a very thin blanket just trying not to freeze our balls off!

Now prison on the other hand... I've never been, nor do I want to... but I've got a distant cousin in prison... and according to him - it's the equivalent of living in pure hell. The kind of hell where you *will* have a life changing experience. And you'll suddenly find many new "friends" who will "love" you to death. If you understand the meaning of my double entendre.

So jail, in my opinion, is not going to scare anybody into changing any illegal habits. When I was there, I was boarding with career criminals. They knew enough about the laws and justice system to go (at least for their realm of "career knowledge") head to head with a lawyer. Both times, they knew exactly how much my bonds were going to be set at... and how much I was going to have to pay to make bail and get out. They were so close on their estimates... they were off within but just a few dollars give or take. I found that pretty amazing. They've been in and out of this system for so many times - they know the routine like better than a mathematician breaking down a complex equation. I was quite amused by their seemingly lack of panic and their perpetual calm. They knew what and when just about everything that was going to happen.

But like your brother - what I never understood was "why" they kept getting into the same trouble - each time getting deeper and deeper into the hole. Most were drugs... a great deal of marijuana, but way too much meth than what I would ever expect. The other guys were there for violent behavior. One guy was so pissed because *he* was in jail, but the guy he beat the shit out of (and who he claimed started the fight) was let free to go.

Well - it was educating.. that's all I can say about the positive aspect of being in jail. The rest was just plain terrible... because of the sheer boredom, which will drive just about anybody insane. But it's apparently not boring enough to make them want to change their criminal habits.
snapper521 at 2007-06-08 23:04 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H. and the knife incident

A lot of people don't/didn't believe me when I finally talked about this. I can, and do, give every single bit of the credit deserved to my ex for getting me to open up. Even though it wasn't with him since I knew if he found out he would kill Tom in cold blood.

Around the time that I inserted my "there were issues with his drinking a knife and myself" into the previous comment, maybe a little before, he got overly drunk, had gone out drinking at the bars to pick up women like he always did. He always got drunk, came home, slept, got up the next morning with a horrible hang over and was a real horrible person to be around for the next 3 days -- if he stayed sober. Which he usually didn't.

He had gotten drunk, came home, slept it off, for an entire day to be exact, and the next day, I had a deer to gut out.

I dont remember who brought it home or why no one else was home. I just remember I had a deer to gut/skin and so when I finished I was covered in guts and blood. Like usual. I stunk... as you can imagine, and threw my knife in the sink to wash later. Which is very odd for me, since I always wash my knife after skinning. I dont have any idea what led me to not wash it that day...

I took a shower and thought I had the house to myself, when in fact I didn't. I usually grab clean clothes so that I go in dirty, come out clean, but I thought I had the house to myself so I didn't this time and just wrapped up in a couple towels. Big mistake.

I wanted a drink of milk so I went to the kitchen, I heard him come stumbling down the stairs and was surprised but ignored him. Second mistake.

He pinned me against the sink, and started... you know. And I was able to get my arm/hand free enough to grab the knife... thank goodness for my laziness... and stabbed him in the arm.

Now that I've had this medical training, I realize just how lucky I was not to hit a main artery. Although on the one hand I'm glad I didn't hit an artery... I suppose I wouldn't have been worried if I had either. *shrug* I hate him. I wish he would go away.
leonardii at 2007-06-09 14:15 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H. and the knife incident

Lucky shot. You got your point across, but you didn't get arrested for manslaughter either.

Of course, it could have been self defense - but the lawyer money to set you free would have put you in the poorhouse. Unless the court appointed you an attorney, which could be just as bad.

But either way - you came out ok.. and that's what matters.

Everything happens for a reson.
snapper521 at 2007-06-09 17:25 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H. and the knife incident


He wouldn't have gone to the cops about me. If he had, I'd have turned him in for attempted rape and since he was already on parole for attempted rape... meh
leonardii at 2007-06-14 23:38 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H. and the knife incident

Sounds like a real gentleman. I just love sarcasm! :)
snapper521 at 2007-06-15 02:46 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H. and the knife incident

Yeah, I really love sarcasm too. :-)

When I said he was the lowest being on the face of the earth I wasn't kidding. I was completely and totally serious.

Actually, there is only one being which is lower then him, and it isn't much lower since he considered himself to be a devils advocate/someone who would carry out the devils deeds.
snapper521 at 2007-06-08 23:08 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H. and the money he's stolen

All in all -- he's stolen over 2 million from various people. Whether it's hooking up with girls for their money, outright stealing it from my grandma ($800,000 in 18-20 yrs), stealing it semi-outright from my parents ($50,000 just in credit cards, along with draining their personal, business and savings accounts, amounts un-known since neither of them will tell me)... it's really unbelieveable that he's still out and about in the normal population.

He just knows who to hit up... since he knows they won't turn him in.

My parents have tried to turn him in, but grandmother won't let them. He is her nefew and... she is to soft.

My folks couldn't take him to court for all that money because she forbid them from doing so. *shrug* it's kind of complicated.
leonardii at 2007-06-09 14:10 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H. and the money he's stolen

I'm so sorry. Truly, I am.

That's just tragic...
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