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Posted on 2007.04.16 at 22:00


snapper521 at 2007-06-08 22:49 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Thomas C. Howe is my dads cousin. He's about 20-22yrs older then me. And is the lowest, slimiest, lying prick of a male human I have ever had the misfortune of meeting/getting to know.

Back when I was 12/13 my parents went into business with him, thinking that they could pull him out of the gutter he has always resided in since they have had quite a bit of financial success.

(They own and opperate a trucking company, hauling canned milk for the Amish. The milk is taken from the amish farms to a factory where it's made into cheese. The cheese is then sold to the tourists and so forth.)

Anyway... back to my story now that you have a bit of background.

When he first came into my life, he was about 32, and discusting. My first impression, was "he is dangerous, don't trust him" this, was the child in me speaking. I was still enough of a child to listen to my instincts. And -- they were screaming red alert. For quite awhile, I listened to my instincts and stayed as far away from him as I could, but then I let my guard down because my mom took me by the ear and said "Look, he's gonna be around for awhile, get used to it, and be nice." So I did. I tried to be nice, and in doing so allowed my guard to get put down.

About this time, he got a girlfriend, and started to openly drink a lot more. His girlfriend had/has 3 children, one girl and two boys. Now, I believe that Cassie had those two abortions not because she was a slut and sleeping around at school, but because Tom raped her.

There was some issues with his drinking, a knife and myslace right around this time, which I will elaborate later if you wish, however this is just an overview of what happened in those 2 years.

While he was a full partner to my father in the business, he lived with us, and was "playing the part" pretending to clean up etc... he didn't clean up, was just pretending to. Along with being a full partner, mom and dad gave him full access to the bank accounts, his own credit card etc... he maxed everything out, drained those accounts and put my parents in the hole majorly.

He moved out if this house and into one with his girlfriend (eventual wife) after living here for about a year. Starr eventually divorced him, after beginning to realize that there were problems between him and her daughter.

In the meantime, my parents took back their things, like the trucks (plural) he bought, and the semi-truck he drove for the route. Along with the snowmobiles, the horse, the 4-wheeler and the other "toys" he bought. They sold everything except the semi-truck (since they needed that) and that helped a little bit, but they took a pretty good beating from the credit card company, and just the basic all around loss because of spending X amount of money on this toy, then only being able to sell it for about 1/4 what they paid. The horse was really the only thing he didn't "beat up on" and cause it to be difficult to get much money out of it. We got her for $200, sold her for $800. So that helped, but he beat her while he had her, so she was very very skittish, and hard to handle, along with the fact that she was a barrel... not a good horse, just fat, stubborn and mean.

Meh... I feel like I've talked for a long long time, but I know there is more I haven't covered...

Now... as you can imagine, them taking that much of a loss in all the "things" he bought... pushed them over the edge. For awhile they had some problems with their marriage, but finally they realized that if they didn't get them resolved... that we, the kids, would suffer all the more.

They got in touch with a credit card thing-a-ma-bob which helped them pay the cards off, got some help from family, friends, the bank, and did A LOT of praying.

Now... 7 yrs later... :-) we're doing alright again. Not wealthy, but not dirt poor anymore.
leonardii at 2007-06-09 14:19 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Typical scumbag. I don't know how they are born into existence - but it always seems that everybody knows one.

I know quite a few... and keep them as far away from me and my family as possible.

I don't know what to say here, babygirl, but keep your head up and let things work themselves out. Hopefully, he will do something stupid enough to land himself in jail... and then prison. That will certainly change his attitude. :)
snapper521 at 2007-06-09 17:23 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

*smile* He's been in Prison, it hasn't helped much. *shrug*

I'm a lot better now then I was. It's taken several years to recover, but I've been thoroughly educated. :-P
leonardii at 2007-06-14 23:37 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

What was he in prison for... if you don't mind me asking?
snapper521 at 2007-06-15 02:54 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

I don't know for sure but I think it was jail bait rape or stealing money. Those were the two things he was always getting caught for. Pretty sure that it was the rape charge though.

He had 3 or 4 tats, 2 of which he got "in the joint" as he put it. He didn't/doesn't have a drivers licence because of to many DUI's.

He's just a nasty character all around.
leonardii at 2007-06-16 17:06 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

I don't understand people for their pursuing this way of life.

It's so much easier to be kind, and let other be kind to you.

But like I said, I just don't understand...
snapper521 at 2007-06-18 03:31 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Neither do I.

However, there seems to be a vast majority of our current population who think/live this way. Its very illogical. :-P
leonardii at 2007-06-18 03:58 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Yes... very illogical indeed.

Like I said, I don't understand. I really don't.

I would like to. I would like to be able to find the reason why people live the way they do and why. It's a subject that's intriguing.

But I just don't understand...
snapper521 at 2007-06-18 04:06 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Psycology? *shrug* Not really my cup of tea. But I would like to know why people are willing to settle for anything but the best for themselves and why when they have been born into a good family, why they can just allow themselves to slip backward in society into the white trash place again... This is totally mistifying to me.

You have people like Tomas who dream of better days. Then you have people like Lizabeth (childhood friend) Who allows herself to get knocked up by a boy who is so below her "station" in life that I wouldn't even give him a second look.
leonardii at 2007-06-22 15:06 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

I too ponder the questions of why people do this to themselves. I have a friend, who has many children from men she does not even like... much less love. But then, there they were... in bed, doing the deed - knowing what what happen.

I don't wonder about her intelligence - she is quite smart. I just wonder about her need for acceptance - and it has come upon me that in her earlier years of life, she was only accepted because she was beautiful. And this "truth" came to her - so it's the only thing she knows. She's beautiful, so therefore she must accept ment to mistreat her, even though it's her duty because she is a devoted person to them - as a wife, a mother, etc. And also - it has to do with a certain amount of money. You become accustomed to such a lifestyle - and so do your children. The mother doesn't want to leave the man, because the money would be gone - and her children would be the ones who suffer. so, she suffers for them, and humiliates herself, so her children do not have to feel the burden of going from wealthy to sheer poverty.

But that's only one that I know... the others, well, I cannot say. Like you said - a girl getting pregnant from a lowlife. Was it the excitement of being with somebody "forbidden" that was so appealing. I've talked with many girls - and yes is their answer. Those "bad boys" are just so damn attractive because they life a renegade life and that attracts these girls like flies to honey. Not all girls of course... but usually the ones who are born into a nice family - where luxury and money are just par for living. They don't want to bed with nice, handsome, rich boys - because they are nothing but "playboys." However, a dude that throws women away like garbage is as attractive to them as fried food is to a fat man. Psychology? Hell, I don't know.
snapper521 at 2007-06-22 17:38 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Women and bad boys

I personally would prefer a poor boy who treats me good over a rich boy who runs around on me, beats me or whatever.

I currently have the option have having a "rich playboy" but I keep him at a distance because I don't trust him for one thing, and for another if he truly is as rich as he claims to be (which is a red flag to begin with if he must tell me about it, then how rich is he really?) if he truly is as rich as he claims to be, then it would hold the possibility of making me become more then a little adicted to him and his money.

He found that his money doesnt really impress me and in fact holds me back, so he has stopped reminding me that he is rich. For the time being.

But I have seriously contemplated taking the money he's offered me in the past when I've mentioned my "problems". Example: tuision, cell phone bill etc...

But in all honesty i keep myself really really clean from the debt. No credit cards to jack up, no bills that aren't necessary... and I am real careful how much I spend so as to not be stupid in the amounts I spend and on what.
leonardii at 2007-06-22 18:13 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Women and bad boys

If a man offers you money take it!!

Just be clear that there will be no reciprocity, i.e., you're not going to bed with him if he gives you the money.

Make it clear that if he's giving you money - he's just being a gentleman. That will chase away all the boys who claim "I'm rich!" just to impress you. Sure, let them flash that money... let them buy you expensive gifts. And keep them!! But don't you dare give in to his "needs."

If he is indeed and truly rich, he can afford to throw money at you. When he sees that you are not going to take the bait - he'll move on, because he has plenty of cash and he'll know there will be plenty of girls who will "take the bait."

If he's not really all that wealthy, but like you say - has to keep telling you he is... you are *absolutely* right. He's just trying to *impress* you and he's hoping that the lure of just the words "I'm rich" will attract you to him.

Why - because it works! It really and truly works. Plenty, oh so plenty of girls out there will just fall over completely if they here "money" from a guy. They think they are *special* and he's going to be all theirs. These are the dumbest girls on earth. And they bite the hook every time. It's like fishing during spawning season for salmon. Their's millions of them... all you have to do is throw a shiny hook in the water - and you'll have a "swarm" fighting over who is going to bite the hook.

Belive me - I know all the lines and I have a whole set of "girl fishing tackle" in my little box of knowledge that i carry around. I can go into a club, and walk out with just about anybody I want. Why - because most girls are just that dumb. Plain and simple.

Of course - it works in reverse too... girls can take advantage of dumb guys just as easily. Even a poor guy will give up his last paycheck if a "poor girl is in trouble" Boo Hoo *weepy eyes* "They are going to repossess my car if I don't make this $300 payment. They will have guys lined up ready to give them their last dollar to help out this "nice" girl who just needs a little help getting back on her feet... because her last boyfriend cleaned out her bank account. Oh man, the bullshit never ends!!

But I say to all my girlfriends... if a dude wants to spend money to buy you gold... let him! If he wants to take you shopping to buy you some new clothes... let him! Then when he acts likes he deserves "something in return" - slap him good and hard across the face and tell him that you are not a whore who can be bought. Then stop answering his calls, ignore his emails, and he'll get tired of you and move on to his next "target." Meanwhile - you've got the gold and the new wardrobe! Ha!! Let him lose at his own game. Soon enough, he'll know better to go for smart girls, and he'll go for te dumb ones. He just wants to "win" a smart girl because she's more of a prize... something a little harder to get. All men love competition. Fishing for dumb girls gets old... because then, you get stuck with them... and trying to get rid of a dumb girl is like trying to constantly clean the splatterd bugs from your windshield... necessary to keep a clean looking car, but hard work and very tedious. :)
snapper521 at 2007-06-23 01:33 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Women and bad boys

*laugh* Bugs on your windshield huh? :-D Thats awesome.

Yeah. I've thought of most of those things. And he's willing (by all appearances) to give me as much as I want. However, what I do not want to happen is for him to get my address, home phone or anything he can use to contact my family.

He is a former drug dealer and truly, bad news. It's funny -- all the guys who "have money" around here, are drug dealers. He isn't even from the area. He's from Metropolis, IL. Which is about 7 hours away give or take.

I know he's bad news and keep him at arms length, however I have considered the money regardless. Since nothing is free I have never accepted. And it wouldn't truly be the temptation that it is if it weren't for one of my friends (who will remain un-named) who has asked for money a few times, and since it wouldn't be my money to begin with, I've considered asking for the money to give to him. :-) See my logic? The problem being is he would probably ask for "favors" like you said. Which is another reason I haven't accepted.

We'll see. But I think right now, I'm not going to accept anything.
ehowton at 2007-06-09 17:27 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Its been my experience that being in jail doesn't do a damn thing to rehabilitate anything.

My brother acted in the same manner after the first time he was in jail as he did the 20th time he was in jail.
leonardii at 2007-06-15 00:17 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Tom H.

Was your bro in jail or prison. Because I've been in jail... and it's really nothing. It's not pleasant by any means, but it's hardly anything that would scare me into a life changing moment. I've been to jail twice - once for a felony and the other for a misdemeanor. Both times - nobody fucked with me. In fact, being a former vet - I was treated by some of the other "brothers" with a somewhat great deal of respect. The hardest part about being in jail is just the sheer boredom... and it's fucking COLD!! I think they keep the temperature in the place at about 60 degrees. Probably 1) to keep the growth of bacteria to a minimum, and 2) to keep everybody docile. Most of the time we just laid in our bunks, covered by a very thin blanket just trying not to freeze our balls off!

Now prison on the other hand... I've never been, nor do I want to... but I've got a distant cousin in prison... and according to him - it's the equivalent of living in pure hell. The kind of hell where you *will* have a life changing experience. And you'll suddenly find many new "friends" who will "love" you to death. If you understand the meaning of my double entendre.

So jail, in my opinion, is not going to scare anybody into changing any illegal habits. When I was there, I was boarding with career criminals. They knew enough about the laws and justice system to go (at least for their realm of "career knowledge") head to head with a lawyer. Both times, they knew exactly how much my bonds were going to be set at... and how much I was going to have to pay to make bail and get out. They were so close on their estimates... they were off within but just a few dollars give or take. I found that pretty amazing. They've been in and out of this system for so many times - they know the routine like better than a mathematician breaking down a complex equation. I was quite amused by their seemingly lack of panic and their perpetual calm. They knew what and when just about everything that was going to happen.

But like your brother - what I never understood was "why" they kept getting into the same trouble - each time getting deeper and deeper into the hole. Most were drugs... a great deal of marijuana, but way too much meth than what I would ever expect. The other guys were there for violent behavior. One guy was so pissed because *he* was in jail, but the guy he beat the shit out of (and who he claimed started the fight) was let free to go.

Well - it was educating.. that's all I can say about the positive aspect of being in jail. The rest was just plain terrible... because of the sheer boredom, which will drive just about anybody insane. But it's apparently not boring enough to make them want to change their criminal habits.
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