ehowton (ehowton) wrote,
ehowton
ehowton

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Compatibility


During the early part of my marriage my wife would often complain that we didn't have anything in common. This of course is an age-old game married couples play to get their spouse to form an impromptu list of similarities for the purpose, I assume, of ensuring love is true. Yes, I played the game. But over time I've discovered that similar interests have nothing to do with loving your spouse - or even keeping a friendship for that matter. No, those things don't really matter when the chips are down.

I've met people in real life and online who's interests mirror my own, and yet despite our affection for the same things, a friendship never materialized. Conversely, I've met people who couldn't be more different than myself where our activities and hobbies are concerned, and I've made lifelong friends.

What does it boil down to? Personality? Values? Morals? Any single one is unlikely, since we all have probably maintained relationships with people who differ in one or more of the above from us, and yet despite it all, get along well. Meyers-Briggs differences, compassionate/intolerant, pessimistic/optimistic, rude/polite, those who are easily offended and those who are not. You'll still find people who can traverse those barriers willingly and successfully.

Is it then those who fall diametrically opposite on all the personality traits AND have differing values & morals? Probably. There comes a point...there always comes a point.

I tell my wife we don't require things in common. Sure, they're nice to have, and yes, we have them. We enjoy many of the same things. We also enjoy many different things. But what's important is we're the same. That's what keeps us a loving couple. We both strive for the same goals, we're both committed to each other, and to our family. We're both willing to make the hard sacrifices to reach our objective. We balance each other well. These things are far more important than basing a relationship on what we have in common.

Passion grows in marriage, it doesn't wane. Contentment is a wonderful gift.

Reposted:

Thank you for your strength when I need it
Though few and far between
I sometimes draw upon it without your knowledge
To embattle myself; to fortify me

Thank you for your tenderness
Omnipresent even at war
It emcompasses and soothes me
Even if I am remiss to show you

Thank you for your character
It defines you
Above all, I admire that the most
And count upon it when my own in is question

I cannot give you the world
But I offer you my half
And it is only mine to give
Because of you.
Tags: wife
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