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Eric

Responsibility

Posted on 2007.12.28 at 12:40
Current Location: 75409
Current Music: Eshkeri - Stardust
Tags: , ,

On the recommendation of one of my readers here, I watched The Weatherman with Nicolas Cage and Michael Caine. There were a lot of close ups of Nicolas Cage's face as he attempted to emote, and Michael Caine's role was almost non-existent. Only Drew Barrymore's visage on the cover of Scream was more misleading.

The Weatherman is one of those movies created for people who have no life, to be able, if only for an hour or so, to experience one. It is not a movie for those of us who have a wife, children, a job, a mortgage, two car payments, life insurance, living parents, etc. We LIVE the things daily that movies like this one try to recreate for those of you who don't. Movies like this do not entertain me because when I take time out of 'real life' to watch something like that, all I'm seeing is more 'real life.' And I'll tell you something I learned a long time ago - I'm far more entertaining than most everyone else I interact with. Most people are mopey, dull, uninteresting flotsam. They live their entire lives striving for something they never reach. Nicolas Cage's character in The Weatherman was similarly portrayed.

When photogoot and I were rooming together in the service, acquaintances were often bringing us people who had no personality, so that we could inspire them. I am not making this up! Like an orphanage, the doorbell would ring and we'd answer it only to find someone's personality-deficient friend on the doorstep, staring up at us with dewy eyes. YOU CANNOT INSPIRE SOMEONE WHO LACKS SELF-MOTIVATION.

Recently, I've been reminded of my own responsibilities. They are to my family, and my family alone. While I certainly enjoy you all in your different ways, and relish in the interaction we have here, your emotional well-being is not my responsibility. Lately, my wife has felt cheated, as if my time were stolen away from her with all the phone calls, emails, text messages and instant messages. Those of you who are beholden to another know and understand the look. I get the look every single time my phone makes a noise. Perhaps its because I've been off all week that I see it too?

Its been a hard week to get a hold of me. And since we're on the subject of prioritizing things in my life, a really poor example of a voice mail is one which states simply, "Call me."

I appreciate both your understanding and support. But if I can't have both, your support will suffice.

Taking care of you is causing me difficulty in being able to tend to those who see after me. And if I can't take care of myself, I will not be able to assist you. Turn my back on you? Not yet. We're not at that point. And as odd as this sounds, crowy put it best when she stated, "There is a difference between a problem and just plain drama. Problem: you had a bad day and need someone to talk to. Drama: every fucking day is a bad day..."

Bravo.

I've canceled all my public appearances for the rest of the month and am looking forward to a nice, quiet New Year's at home with those who matter the most to me. My family.

I wish all of you the most fantastic New Year you've ever experienced.

Comments:


galinda822 at 2007-12-28 20:21 (UTC) (Link)
Happy New Year to you also!




texas_tangent
texas_tangent at 2007-12-28 20:27 (UTC) (Link)
Bravo, Cheers and Congratulations! Well said and all that Jazz!


Happy New Year to you as well. I will be spending time at home with my family as well.
Me
photogoot at 2007-12-28 21:36 (UTC) (Link)
Well said, I love you! So many are easily blind or even willfully blind to what you see. It takes work against entropy to maintain happiness with those who you love.

Here's to letting orphans find their own way in the new year.

*raising glass high in toast to you, Ladies L & P plus Mr. G.*



Edited at 2007-12-28 09:50 pm (UTC)
galinda822 at 2007-12-28 21:57 (UTC) (Link)
What makes one an "orphan"? How does one become a loved one instead?

Renegade
leonardii at 2007-12-30 21:14 (UTC) (Link)
It takes work against entropy to maintain happiness with those who you love.

That is one excellent quote!! :) It caught my eye because of "entropy." I deal with it quite a bit in chemistry - and bringing balance to everything is the mainstay of chemical equations.

It's just interesting seeing the word expressed in the balance of life... when all this time when I see the word - images of the constant Q come racing into my thoughts.

But aside from the vocabulary - the quote is just marvelous. You managed to say very easily and efficiently what so many would babble on about.

It's some much better than the old cliché "Relationships take work." No shit, when I think of that quote.

I know that was crude, but that overused quote just makes me ill.

Yours however - was eloquent with the English language. It titillates my poetic side, as I do so very much LOVE eloquence in languages. For what is poetry, if not eloquence defined? And since I'm also a chemistry major - the quote... well, it plays on both my humorous side and my poetic side.

And I think many people use LJ for showing their witty intelligence with language. That's what makes the convos so entertaining, humorous, and yes - enlightening.

Your sir, need to realize that eloquence is truly a gift. Not only can you capture images - you can write the best captions! I'm quite envious (the good kind) of your photo taking abilities. Perhaps someday... you can teach me a little of what you know. I would be most gracious.
time3 at 2007-12-29 17:16 (UTC) (Link)
Lately, my wife has felt cheated, as if my time were stolen away from her with all the phone calls, emails, text messages and instant messages. Those of you who are beholden to another know and understand the look. I get the look every single time my phone makes a noise. Perhaps its because I've been off all week that I see it too?

Oh, Elizabeth and I are very familiar with this. We have learned to set aside time to be together and to be as attentive as possible when the other is trying to communicate. At least, within reason as sometimes commitments come first.

I used to be more obsessive about computer work and chatting. These days I'm much more disconnected and hopefully well rounded as a result. I have made it a necessity to become involved with outdoorsy groups like AMC for local day/night hikes. Also, my spirituality helps with this as it gets me out into nature on a regular basis.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2007-12-30 06:13 (UTC) (Link)
"Recently, I've been reminded of my own responsibilities. They are to my family, and my family alone. While I certainly enjoy you all in your different ways, and relish in the interaction we have here, your emotional well-being is not my responsibility. Lately, my wife has felt cheated, as if my time were stolen away from her with all the phone calls, emails, text messages and instant messages. Those of you who are beholden to another know and understand the look. I get the look every single time my phone makes a noise. Perhaps its because I've been off all week that I see it too?"

Your referring here to schpydurx and galinda822 aren't you???
Me
photogoot at 2007-12-30 06:53 (UTC) (Link)
My impression is that the quoted paragraph applies to anyone with a place in his life. Regardless of who they apply to some will take the words more or less personally, others may not understand them at all. Either way it seems to me at this point ehowton is not so much interested in assigning a name or value to the level of another’s contribution to his current feelings. Rather he is making a statement that he is shouldering the responsibility for righting his own ship… so to speak.

My favorite quote from this post is I appreciate both your understanding and support. But if I can't have both, your support will suffice. And, I feel certain in predicting after schpydurx reads it we will see him re-use the quote in an awkward and clumsy attempt to seem cool and witty. The over under on my prediction is 14 days, I’ll take the under. ;-)
Renegade
leonardii at 2007-12-30 09:17 (UTC) (Link)
This sounds strangely familiar to a post I made quite a few moons ago. I can say that - "I truly understand."

YOU CANNOT INSPIRE SOMEONE WHO LACKS SELF-MOTIVATION.

I've mentioned this fact once or twice or perhaps more. This arena I understand so well - I don't want to be able to empathize. I too have had so many who want in my life because in some way - my happiness is like a magnet that I compare to a bright light for bugs. Because that is what the light I have seems to attract. Somebody extremely annoying that I just want to squash with a flyswatter.

Are we being too egotistical stating this? Do we think we are any better? It's a question I've had to ask myself, and I want to humble myself to not seem as though I am any better... I'm just happy!!

Being a happy person - it does have a specific glow that does attract many. And, in some cases - people outright just despise me - without even knowing me at all. They sum me up with one meeting - and like lightening, they start stabbing me in the back every chance they get. What did I do to offend or cause such despicable behavior!? They hate me because I can find joy wherever I go and whatever I'm doing. Are they just so pissed off that I should be miserable like them... and because I choose to be happy - I must be taken down... beaten into their miserable existence.

I'm totally in agreement with you here, my friend. I know not of many with whom I can share this blessing and curse... which it truly seems to be.

Enjoy your life - enjoy your wife! That's what I say to Lena... and I will admit, it does put a wonderful smile on her face when I say those words. She likes to feel as though she were the most special person in my life. And of course - she is, no doubt.

I know I'm not one who could possibly be a "bug" to your light. Actually, I think together - our lights shine even brighter and more brilliantly than alone. For that - it's always a pleasure to be in your company. You don't such the life out of me - and I don't you. We do give, but I know the giving is willful and it's a positive gain for the both of us.

It's nice to have an awesome friend who can recharge my batteries - not drain them.

Go forth my friend, enjoy your holiday with your beloved family. We plan to spend the last day of this year ALONE - just our nuclear family... the three of us. Well, we are all a little under the weather, so it's right that we don't want to go out and make our friends ill. I do have some friends that I would love to spend my time sharing the New Year - but we're going to be at home.

I've babbled just a bit, but I know you can extrapolate the true intent of this post. Sorry for rambling a bit - I just wanted to make my feelings clear.

I know I have done so. As always - it's been a pleasure.

-Your humble servant, and assured friend...
Me
photogoot at 2007-12-30 18:02 (UTC) (Link)
This! This is exactly what I like about LJ. It is so interesting and refreshing when someone can communicate an idea so clearly.

The following statement and question you posed was of particular interest to me.

"my happiness is like a magnet that I compare to a bright light for bugs. Because that is what the light I have seems to attract. Somebody extremely annoying that I just want to squash with a flyswatter.

Are we being too egotistical stating this? Do we think we are any better? It's a question I've had to ask myself, and I want to humble myself to not seem as though I am any better... I'm just happy!! "


I think when people are confronted with happiness, love, or grace in another they can have one or more of many reactions to it. In the case of a "bug" or someone who as you said despises what they see in you (the happiness, love, or grace of another), I believe what is happening for them is a fear of facing the barriers to receiving and experiencing love or grace in their own lives. I do not believe most people are consciously trying to beat others down however this action is how their fear of their own existence manifests itself, by beating others down. There are the rare few who do it purposefully, and they are evil of this I have no doubt.

I do not think making the statements you have made are egotistical at all or that you elevate yourself above others to their detriment. Placing boundaries on the behavior one will accept from others, particularly people reacting in a non positive way when exposed to happiness, love, or grace is a necessary and healthy way to be in the world. If we pass nothing else on to our children and peers at least let us pass that on to them, for I believe that is the road less traveled, and it can make all the difference.

You sir do have a light that draws others in, I saw it immediately when I met you earlier this month. The pleasure of our introduction was all mine. Have a great New Year, and I wish you and your family all the best.

Take care.

Edited at 2007-12-30 06:41 pm (UTC)
ex_crowy at 2007-12-31 01:49 (UTC) (Link)
You seem shocked that I am quote worthy, Mr. Howton. :)

Happy New Year to you and yours.
Me
photogoot at 2007-12-31 02:17 (UTC) (Link)
I for one was not shocked he deemed you quote worthy. You are hardly one for wishy washy statements, and aren't direct words given with passion the best quotes?

Here here to keeping the drama mafia at bay next year!
Renegade
leonardii at 2007-12-31 02:37 (UTC) (Link)
Hey - that was a good quote. Makes good sense too. Very quote-worthy! :)
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-01-01 08:05 (UTC) (Link)
We'll deal with the last things first and the first things last.

Firstly (or would that be lastly) since your authorship of this post, I have not endeavored to contact you in any way. This includes not leaving you comments so that you don't get the automated email from Live Journal. So not only do you have my support, you also have my full understanding and empathy as I go above and beyond the call of duty. As, however, a new month is upon us, ergo, your timeframe of seclusion is over.

Now then, I don't require inspiration to do what I want to do. Oh, sure, I need to be inspired so that I'll have a story to write a script, but that's not the kind of inspiration we're talking about here. I fully agree that I lack self-motivation, but for all the right reasons.

You see, as I have previously explained I cannot just uproot myself and go to where the film/video action is without serious financial repercussions. Furthermore, I don't have the necessary skill set to show up and get a so-called "real" (read "high paying") job; I have yet to learn how to be my own DP, hence the strong desire to start with still photography and then make the transition into motion photography.

I'm sure you'll agree with Limbaugh when he says "most limitation are self-imposed." One could argue that I have boxed myself into thinking that unless I have the funds I shouldn't get into film. As I have just made the argument that until I have some money or mad skillz to speak of I cannot argue this point, thus I concede that in my own way I lack self-motivation. Hell, I haven't even actively sought out any project in my area. (That may be due to the fact that there are no projects in my area.)

Finally, I will out myself and 'fess up to being the one who not only recommended The Weatherman but also was the one who gave you the DVD from my own personal collection. I have only just recently put together the fact that when it comes to movies you prefer instant gratification rather than something that you have to keep turning over and over in order to gain proper perspective and deeper insight. Had I recognized this before I journey to Texas, I would have brought you a Three Stooges collection.

There are many reasons that I like this movie. Perhaps the lasting reason (thought I don't think about it these days) is that the movie's release date got pushed something like three times and I all I had to go on was the trailer. It then played for two weeks in town and left with no word on a DVD release. Aside from The Fountain, this is the only movie that I have ever downloaded in the theater to home release interim.

I find it very quotable. You're a champion asshole. A real blue ribbon fuck! (I would go on, but as we are the only two who would appreciate them, I will stop at this. Please let me know if you want an exhaustive list. I am sure, however, that your favorite two quotes in the movie were I like eating pussy and To get anything of value you have to sacrifice. Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.

I also liked the camera work and the general cinematography. I'm a suck for blue "duotones". To me, what was so fascinating about the story was here was a guy who had a life that most envied, yet he was the most clueless person on the planet. I appreciated Robert's wisdom. He knew that if he attempted to correct the flaws that David would reject the correction, so instead Robert waited with open arms for David to say "Dad, I need your help." But this thought never crossed David's mind.

I remember being really ticked off at the end of the movie because I thought that it was highly irresponsible of the filmmakers to make a movie where there wasn't some correction or attempt to be responsible and say "hey, if only this selfish stupid fuck would do X all of his problems would vanish." The more I thought about the story, the more I got what was being communicated. Sad really. I consider this movie to be a warning. Too many people who see it will miss the message entirely.
Me
photogoot at 2008-01-01 16:18 (UTC) (Link)
You missed the point! Loquacious asshole.
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