ehowton (ehowton) wrote,
ehowton
ehowton

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UFO

We've had a little weirdness here in my neck of the woods here lately. Seems we have an Unidentified Flying Object problem.1 Why its a problem, I have no idea. I see shit flying around all the time I can't identify. I don't feel the need to go alerting the media and all that. Apparently though, around these parts, a lot of folks have seen this UFO. Ergo, now its really a problem. Hell, they even got themselves a bone-fide Constable to say he saw it. They do this to lend credibility to their claims, because we all know Constables are adept in the identification of human versus alien manufacturing.

To help fuel the fire, the United States Air Force first released a statement not only disavowing any knowledge of military operations in the area, but going as far to state specifically that they had no birds in the air, period. Later, they rescinded this to announce that they were mistaken, and there were indeed no less than 10 (ten) F-16 fighter aircraft not only in the air, but at the exact place and time of the supposed sightings, whenever that might have been.

Some people have seen the military's waffling on the subject as confirmation of a cover-up that aliens live here among us. And I tend to agree with that point of view, and offer you the following indisputable proof:

  1. My wife woke with a start this morning, thinking our sole remaining cat, Daisy was left outside overnight. She rushed to the front door, threw it open and called for her. She lazily made her way out of my office and from that point forward wouldn't stop bugging my wife! Very suspicious. Later, when the kids awoke they were unusually grumpy *gasp* which caused my wife to forget their mittens, so she rushed back passing a cop while speeding *omgz* finally breaking the side-view mirror backing out of the garage. Definite sign of alien activity.

  2. A government-filled advisory board in the UK has condemned "The Three Little Pigs" on the outside chance that Muslims are offended!2 SINCE WHEN ARE WE AFRAID OF OFFENDING SOMEONE TO THE POINT WE CHANGE OUR HISTORY? Also, the story might offend builders because it "portrays the building industry in a bad light." This MUST be alien activity at the highest levels, as no self-respecting person, no matter age, race, religion, or sexual-preference would EVER allow themselves to become offended at something so innocuous. Aliens, on the other hand, explain it all.

  3. A change in weather. Not since El Nino (also suspected of having been started by aliens according to the conspiracies I've consulted) have we seen such a furious change in weather patterns! Just as I as getting comfortable being away from the horrific storms of Saint Louis, we have a weather alert in North Texas. They're predicting lows in the 20's overnight! I rushed out and bought 15 fire-logs at lunch, and three flashlights. I know the damage I showed you to our house last year was bad, but here's a picture of the last big storm we had in Texas: CLICK AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!





Lastly - I was working from home yesterday and later that evening popped on over to my Friends List. uniqueblog was asking us to comment on his latest shoot. Since I've been a bad friend and haven't commented much, or even had a chance to see his new stuff this year, I welcomed the opportunity for feedback and saw all 22 of his full color nudes at http://uniquenudes.com before noticing the Cisco VPN icon in my iconbar. Yes, I was surfing "porn" on my work connection. *sigh* I sent an email to my female boss:

At work I have filters in place to prevent this sort of thing from happening, but in case anyone asks you, I was uploading SPARC & x86 patch clusters on VPN when I went over and visited uniquenudes.com from a link from my blog - guy shoots artistic nudes.

Oops.


Yeah, that's embarrassing. THANK GOODNESS I WASN'T SURFING ANAL-GRANNIES.COM OR SOME OTHER SIMILAR FETISH SITE! That's why I always count my blessings.



1 http://news.aol.com/story/_a/military-blames-ufo-reports-on-jet/20080123204309990002?ncid=NWS00010000000001
2 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/01/24/ntales124.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox
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