Log in

No account? Create an account
Jack Sparrow


Posted on 2008.03.27 at 09:53
Current Location: 75070
Current Music: A plethora of scores on my iPod
Tags: , , ,
It started one night, in preparation for the December 1st party. drax0r and his wife jesskd26 came over for drinks and cigars in the garage. The night was gorgeous and he and I were setting up the outdoor computer and amp. As we started building the playlist the ladies were very clear that they didn't want any musicals on there. "But what about Frank?" drax0r asked. They acquiesced. Frank was fine. And that's how Guys & Dolls, a musical, made it on the playlist. As we were going through the possible songs, drax0r would name them, and I'd start singing them. The ladies looked upon us as if we were nuts. During one particularly rousing rendition of "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" jesskd26 quips, "Everyday."


"Everyday you do something, or say something which makes me think you might be gay." She says. "You get excited about your shoes, you're picky about your clothes...and now this. Everyday."

So its become sort of a running joke with us. Every time I burst out into song, or perform a little impromptu softshoe, or say something a touch beyond what your average metrosexual might, jesskd26 looks at me, shakes her head, and says, "Everyday."

It just so happens, that at times, I actually do bring this on myself - albeit unwittingly. For example, we were outside enjoying a break from work and I told drax0r that I was going to be a pirate for Halloween this year. And I became animated as I decided on that dude from Pirates of the Carribean. "I'm going to wear eye shadow and be Captain Jack...(I couldn't think of his last name; it was a bird. A bird who's name began with an, "S")...I'm going to wear eye shadow and be Captain Jack Swallow!

All he could do was shake his head at me and say, "Everyday."

The power of political incorrectness, is in its truth. ~ Eric Howton

And straight from my Inbox to you, something anyone who knows me in person can attest to:

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card. Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship:

  1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey.

  2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

  3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

  4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

  5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

  6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

  7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well! Again. I don't want whatever you have.

  8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsiness.

  9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.



Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-03-27 15:06 (UTC) (Link)
When you are confused, I will use little words.
I. don't. get. it.
ehowton at 2008-03-27 15:10 (UTC) (Link)
You. Usually. Don't.
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2008-03-27 15:21 (UTC) (Link)
Consider me shocked!
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2008-03-27 15:18 (UTC) (Link)
"I'm going to wear eye shadow and be Captain Jack..."

I would recommend dark eyeshadow, with a hint of green layered over it. Eyeliner too.

And if there are no pics, there are going to be SPANKINGS OMG. ;)
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-03-27 15:23 (UTC) (Link)
Did someone say spankings? *perks*
ehowton at 2008-03-27 15:33 (UTC) (Link)
Oh I'm a whore for the camera. I know, Everyday.
drax0r at 2008-03-27 18:16 (UTC) (Link)

Oh there will be pics.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-03-27 15:29 (UTC) (Link)
ehowton at 2008-03-27 15:37 (UTC) (Link)
Actually, you're neither qualified nor authorized to say that to me.
galinda822 at 2008-03-27 17:36 (UTC) (Link)
New term that describes you better:

Übersexuals are the most attractive (not just physically), most dynamic, and most compelling men of their generations. They are confident, masculine, stylish, and committed to uncompromising quality in all areas of life. Übersexuals also have depth, subtlety and individuality. The übersexuals knows the difference between right and wrong and will make the right decision regardless of what others around him may think;
A gentleman in all manners of the definition. A ubersexual is a man that knows masculinity is not about being rude and dirty, but being a well dressed, well groomed gentleman. Also known for their cunnilingus skills, but both meanings of course...many languages, and giving pleasure with the tongue.

Edited at 2008-03-27 05:36 pm (UTC)
ehowton at 2008-03-27 17:52 (UTC) (Link)
How cool is that? You ma'am, win the thread.

Thank you!


Edited at 2008-03-27 06:04 pm (UTC)
drax0r at 2008-03-27 18:48 (UTC) (Link)
Übersexuals are the most attractive (not just physically), most dynamic, and most compelling........

Get a room.
irulan_amy at 2008-03-28 02:29 (UTC) (Link)
LOL! It's going to be my new word. :D

Nicely done. :D
osontx at 2008-03-31 01:07 (UTC) (Link)

Political Incorrectness

I wondered as I read about Captain Jack Swallow could it be you have just coined the name of the next Great Porn film? The one thing I truly find myself having is a total respect for the fact that my friend Eric always speaks his mind and it will always be the truth. The truth is always the truth. Now that has gotten to be a very bad thing to say in today’s politically correct world, By the way who ever started the phrase Politically correct should be caned find a nice piece of Bamboo and let the beating begin. What is wrong with pointing at a thing and saying that is asinine? So I make you this promise my friend if a thing needs to be pointed at and called moronic I will pause take a deep breath and think of you just before I say “What color is the sky in your World? that is F-ing Stupid and I will not for one minute entertain the notion it is anything else”

Sincerely your Friend


ehowton at 2008-03-31 01:30 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Political Incorrectness

I look forward to watching you do just that ;)
Previous Entry  Next Entry