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The Fifth Element

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

Posted on 2008.04.02 at 09:05
Current Location: 75070
Current Music: Gregson-Williams - Sinbad, Legend of the Seven Seas
Tags: , , ,

A while back, I read a charming little book by Robert Fulghum entitled All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten in which he used little stories that if we, as adults, were to take a few of the seemingly benign things we were taught as children and put them to real-world use, the world would be a better place:

  • Share everything.

  • Play fair.

  • Don't hit people.

  • Put things back where you found them.

  • Clean up your own mess.

  • Don't take things that aren't yours.


How cute.

I was at the water fountain this morning thinking about how much I've changed in the last ten years and wondering if I'm just as surly and gruff now as I used to find other people my age ten years ago. I cannot rely on those who've known me for that long, because surely their perspective has changed as well. When I first started wearing my hair in a pony tail I would only wear the black tiebacks. Anything else was gay. I mean, you can't expect a heterosexual guy to wear a colorful tieback, right? These days, I just don't care. I reach into my wife's vanity and wear whatever the hell I happen to pull out.



I'm too old, too tired, too hungry to go chase some hot rod. And I'm definitely too thirsty.




This led me to my next conclusion. I learned something different in kindergarten, yet equally as effective. And unlike Mr. Fulghum, I don't have to wish that the rest of the world would follow the advice for them to work. I present to you, the ehowton version of All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten:

  • Some people are just really, really weird. You need to avoid them.

  • Even if you do the right thing every time, others may not.

  • People will steal from you, then lie about it.

  • Sometimes people in authority will put their finger inside you and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

  • Most people don't care about playing fair. They suck.

  • Those who should be punished, usually aren't.

  • A sense of humor will get you through most scrapes.

  • Be happy with what you have, as many have much less.

  • Get to know people before judging them.

  • Some people won't like you. That's ok. You'll have more fun with the ones who do.

  • You can enjoy yourself no matter where you are or what you're doing, by always being yourself.



Comments:


Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-04-02 15:51 (UTC) (Link)
When I first started wearing my hair in a pony tail I would only wear the black tiebacks. Anything else was gay. I mean, you can't expect a heterosexual guy to wear a colorful tieback, right? These days, I just don't care. I reach into my wife's vanity and wear whatever the hell I happen to pull out.
Everyday.
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-04-02 15:56 (UTC) (Link)
You're closer to 20-years my junior but same rules apply. And yes, that answers my question.
catttitude
catttitude at 2008-04-02 20:00 (UTC) (Link)
I thought it was little girl taking all my pink scrunchy's.
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-04-02 20:15 (UTC) (Link)
Well now you know the rest of the story.
(Anonymous) at 2008-04-02 22:53 (UTC) (Link)
oh really
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-04-02 23:42 (UTC) (Link)
Not mother?
Me
photogoot at 2008-04-03 01:02 (UTC) (Link)
Anonymous, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy.
catttitude
catttitude at 2008-04-03 02:02 (UTC) (Link)
Hey, I know you.... or do I....
whester
whester at 2008-04-02 23:44 (UTC) (Link)
Be happy with what you have, as many have much less.
I try to live by this I don' make much and I am supporting my wife and a 3 month old but we can live comfortably, Healthy, and Happy and that is all that matters.

BYW

Some people are just really, really weird.
Do you think this is me.
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-04-03 00:03 (UTC) (Link)
Do you think this is me.
Should I?
Me
photogoot at 2008-04-03 00:57 (UTC) (Link)

“Water Fountain” Moments

This is really brilliant. One of your most interesting abilities is to translate those “water fountain” moments into something meaningful with context to the present. I think we (most of us) can relate to having thoughts about our own change and how we are perceived. Maybe those curiosities are not as organized as yours, or maybe even more focused, but we all experience these moments of introspection at some level. Your genius is moving that curiosity into the context of present which of course gives it meaning, dare I say… truth.

Of course you sharing this then makes it easier for those of us (me) who have less of a knack for placing our introspection into the context of present. For that I say, thank you my friend. I am a better person for knowing you.
irulan_amy at 2008-04-03 02:16 (UTC) (Link)

Re: “Water Fountain” Moments

Very, very true.

He does have a talent for that.
galinda822 at 2008-04-03 01:54 (UTC) (Link)
Well I can't tell you where I'm going, I'm not sure of where I've been
But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end
I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it
I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit.


I know everything I need to know I'm still learning!
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-04-03 04:19 (UTC) (Link)
Quite a bit of truth there as well.
irulan_amy at 2008-04-03 02:11 (UTC) (Link)
I'm surly towards younger folk. Or surly in general. But in a cute way. ;)

Every bit of your version is highly true. I think you should write a whole book of them. :D
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