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Kroenen, Hellboy

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Posted on 2008.05.21 at 14:30
Current Location: 75070
Current Music: Beltrami - Hellboy
Tags:
Inactivity grips me
Life's interests wane
I feel nothing at all
Happiness, joy or pain

Immersed in quiescence
Complacency wins
Consider a coup
Give up in the end

Choose to do nothing
Nothing at all
Get out of bed
To stare at the wall

No accidental questions
Zero regard
A dead cat's curiosity
Grass growing in the yard

Won't play with my kids
Or touch my wife
Overwhelming despair
Internalized strife

Nothing can arouse me
Refuse to eat
Evaporating paint
I wish I could sleep

Synapses won't fire
No one to blame
No arguments to win
Neither impassioned nor aflame

My children grow up
Go on their way
Move out of the house
Time passes each day

I've sat for a decade
My wife died
Didn't attend the funeral
Didn't even cry

Ten thousand more years
Another passing age
The Earth cleanses itself
A turn of the eon page

Re-balance of the planet
Kills every living thing
But I'm not really alive
So here I remain.

Comments:


prog_guy69
prog_guy69 at 2008-05-22 00:26 (UTC) (Link)
Did you steal this from "CD Shop Guy" then vamp it up to where is was actually a very good piece? I see hints of him in here, but the quality of the prose is far beyond his feeble attempts at at what he calls poetry.

ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-22 01:44 (UTC) (Link)
"CD Shop Guy" was a freaking hoot! I'm really going to miss him and his misguided passion.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-05-22 04:56 (UTC) (Link)
CD Shop Guy reminds me of someone, but I can't place who.
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-22 11:56 (UTC) (Link)
Well sure, you remember him, right? From melancthe's numerous posts? And all those bad-bad poems he writes her
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-05-22 13:01 (UTC) (Link)
oh no, I didn't konw this was someone on [Unknown LJ tag]'s blog. I though this was someone there in Texas.

Of course, if you're referring to someone on melancthe's blog, I wouldn't know as I'm not on her FL and her blog is friends only.
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-22 13:27 (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry - its not that I can't keep up with who blocks you, I simply didn't know whether or not you were blocked prior to her having mentioned him or afterwards.

Surely you haven't forgotten EVERYTHING she's ever blogged about just because you were cut from her friends list, right? Ergo, I may occasionally mention things you are aware of regardless.

No worries, mate.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-05-22 14:37 (UTC) (Link)
As a great man once said, I have suffered to see change and yet nothing can ever be the same again.

I came here to Live Journal to have fun, not to fall in love. By now she'll know the worst of me. Try not to think it. To leave her... is punishment enough. But it will not end here. For as they say in Ireland, we have known the days.
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-22 14:46 (UTC) (Link)
Surely you don't think that mitigates what I said about knowing stuff from her journal prior to her blocking you?
prog_guy69
prog_guy69 at 2008-05-22 11:17 (UTC) (Link)
Why do I feel like we haven't heard the last of CD Shop Guy? As the saying goes ... "he's like a bad penny..."
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-22 11:58 (UTC) (Link)
I bet you're right! Restraining orders don't work against starry-eyed love puppies :(
prog_guy69
prog_guy69 at 2008-05-23 00:20 (UTC) (Link)
I'm not sure if mace or a tazer would stop CD Shop Guy.
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-23 00:59 (UTC) (Link)

I like the way you think:

prog_guy69
prog_guy69 at 2008-05-23 11:50 (UTC) (Link)

Re: I like the way you think:

I was thinking of mace as in pepper spray, but I think your mace would be equally ineffective and much more fun to watch.
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2008-05-23 15:29 (UTC) (Link)

Re: I like the way you think:

I prefer to use my trusty Hadhafang to deal with annoying people.

*nodnod*

I will be sure to post pictures in my journal when such smiting finally happens. ;)
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-23 15:35 (UTC) (Link)

Re: I like the way you think:

I could never kill someone with a sword. Unless they pissed me off.
galinda822 at 2008-05-22 02:07 (UTC) (Link)
It's so...despondent!

Not to pick (and only because of our many discussions on the subject) do these come about due to your "fake it until you make it" attitude?

ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-22 12:06 (UTC) (Link)
The older I get the more work that attitude takes. There are those who have suggested that its simply a rush of Spring Fever after being cooped up all season. Regardless, I simply followed out to its logical conclusion (for me) where an overabundance of inactivity would lead.

I have noticed, however a theme of sorts in my poetry. Not only are all of my poems dark (and why they are I have no idea - no one wants to read about my excessive happiness, perhaps this is a way to temper myself?) but they seem to all end in eternal ambiguity. If I ever become famous, then die, I wonder what those who will interpret them would say, as 'troubled genius' is almost a proverb.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-05-22 16:23 (UTC) (Link)
The proverb is somewhat musty.
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-22 18:05 (UTC) (Link)
As is your comment.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-05-22 18:29 (UTC) (Link)
And your mom.
ehowton
ehowton at 2008-05-23 15:36 (UTC) (Link)
Rude!
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2008-05-23 15:38 (UTC) (Link)
It's the in joke.
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