June 29th, 2005

Eric

Around the World in 80 Days

The Wichita trip was uneventful. I pray for uneventful road trips. Had a fantastic time with the wife and kids, both together, and later, separately. Three weeks is too long to be away from the kids, and this is probably the last time the separation will be that duration. Mother-in-Law (anagram of "Woman Hitler") put me to work right away, cooking food for 40 people who were showing up at the party, and I helped the father-in-Law around the house here and there. Yes, it was hot and humid. The brother-in-law and family show up on schedule and fun ensues. The kids played together nonstop for two days, leaving us to smoke cigars, drink beer, and visit. In the evenings I would attach a homemade chariot to the back of a lawn tractor and pull the kids around the acreage at full throttle. It was really a fantastic time.



I rolled in at 1600 yesterday and stopped at the folks for a bite to eat, fix computer issues, and upgrade mom's Dell with some RAM Tony donated to the cause from his Mac Mini when he upgraded. From there to the ADC where Tony and I enjoyed a long embrace and got to work on one of our clients laptops. From there to Remote Location Alpha, where I cleaned kitty boxes, gave love to kitties, relocated my cot from the computer room to a spare bedroom, and played an hour of Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast.

That brings us to today. Two ladies showed up bright and early at my cube this morning, excited that the Solaris guy was back! They were both taking turns talking to me about their problems as I studied the last gurgle of the coffeemaker dispensing my first cup of coffee of the morning. They continued to talk while I poured a large mug full and brought it to my nose inhaling deeply the bittersweet aroma. I closed my eyes and took my first sip as their voices faded out...When I opened my eyes they were both looking at me. I explained, "If it appears that I am much more interested in this cup of coffee than your problems, it's because I am." One started to go into great detail about Oracle databases and accesses and versions of Oracle and Standard versus Enterprise editions but I waved my hand at her and said, "All I hear is blah-blah-blah can't mount filesystem, blah-blah-blah need it back up. Is that accurate?" (It's really all I needed to know.) As it turns out, it's a Veritas filesystem. "Wait until Eric gets here tomorrow." they all said. Is that the same Eric who CSC has promised Veritas training to for 5 years but never sent? Why yes it is! So here I sit trying to fix a problem which in all honesty looks like I could fix quickly if it weren't encapsulated by Veritas. Also, during the domain migration, my co-worker was able to fend them off re-imaging my laptop for the time being, but they went ahead and uninstalled AIM for me. So, I emerge'd GAIM on the gentoo box.

r0ckin'

I leave you with this, my son, on the Slip 'N Slide:

Eric

Land Speed Record

Although this may be difficult for some of you to believe, the following account is true:

I left work at I-20 & 35W at 1800, and never made it over 25mph for a full 15 minutes. After that, however, I accelerated up to 85mph, and kept that poor car at 3/4 throttle. From work to I-45 is 40 miles, and from I-45 to Tony's is another 20. Not just any 20 miles, though, 20 miles through the 75 Central Expressway corridor! I was able to maintain 80mph+ through 75! At this point, traffic came to a standstill, so I veered off to 635 East...which was at a standstill just at the Greenville exit (which I took) and arrived at Tony's at 1700. A new record. I figure, with the initial fifteen minutes of traffic, I made it 60 miles across the Metroplex and though Downtown Dallas in just over 45 minutes!

Now then, a few things I'd like to say concerning that little jaunt:


  1. GET YOUR BUSTED-ASS RICE BURNER OUT OF THE LEFT HAND LANE!

  2. SPINNERS MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID - GET OUT OF THE LEFT HAND LANE!

  3. If you cannot talk on your cell phone and drive simultaneously, fine, just GET OUT OF THE LEFT HAND LANE!

  4. My used car was $8900, your new Euro-sedan was $70,000. Fantastic. Now GET THE FSCK OUT OF THE LEFT HAND LANE!

  5. If you're in the left hand lane, and some idiot is driving up behind you at 85 mph - GET OUT OF THEIR WAY!



Seriously, I could not believe how many greenish ToyotaHondas were just parked in the left hand lane, driven mostly my minorities, soaking up the negative attention. One woman (sorry ladies) was doing a good 75mph until she got on her phone. Instead of moving over or maintaining velocity, she slowed to a crawl in the left hand lane. Now, let's turn this around on me, ok? I'm going to type this very slowly so you can understand. If I am in the left hand lane driving 90mph, and some asshole comes up behind me at 135mph, I'm going to GET OUT OF HIS WAY.

Oh well. What are you going to do. There's more Indians in Dallas now than Texans. Maybe I'll move to Goa.
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