February 9th, 2006



So I'm having this issue with my new DSL service. I ordered 3.0Mbps down/1.5Mbps up with 8 static IP's. However, I've only been seeing 400kbps up. So I call in a ticket today with SBC. They inform me I only ordered 384kbps up. "That's a mistake," I explained. "I was with a sales representative for nearly half an hour crafting my order. I would never have accepted 384kbps up." So I get passed on to sales. "We don't offer anything higher than 384kbps up." Nice. I cancel my order. I have the equipment scheduled for pickup. I have them remove all charges associated with anything from my bill. During the overly-lengthy confirmation for pickup process where the non-English speaking associate got my phone number wrong SIX TIMES IN A ROW, I'm browsing SBC's web site and find what? Upstreams up to 608kbps! (My 640kbps SDSL at the Boyd Ranch Data Center proved long ago that connection wasn't exactly *dazzling* - but hey, better than 348!) So I ask to be transferred to sales. She reads the entire history of my order, including the reasons for my disconnect today, and ensures me that I can get between 1.5 and 3.0 Mbps upstream. I'm instantly furious, and then doubtful. "What's the downstream on that?" I ask. "Three eight-four." she tells me. I scream inside my head. What a bunch of fuck-ups. She conferences billing in. For and extra $100 a month, they'll give me 384-608 up. "How often is it lower than 608?" I ask.
"We can only guarantee 384, sir."
"Fine, what percentage of the time is it 384?"
"We can only guarantee 384, sir."
"Theoretically, you could provide me 384kbps 99% of the time with 608kbps spikes 1% of the time and still charge me for the 608 price?"
"We can only guarantee 384, sir."


I have no broadband, and no hope of broadband. I'm going to go home and eat worms.

STL is really starting to piss me off.
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