My wife's cousin's husband is a salesman for Big Dog motorcycles. He came to Irving, Texas in early '99 for an expo at Market Hall. Afterward, we drove out to Saltgrass Steakhouse for dinner, then he announced to my wife and I that he had some PR to do at a bar named Easyriders (later changing its name to 'Strokers' in 2003) and would we like to attend? Sure, sounds like fun. I hadn't been to a bar in several years (I used to spend a lot of time at the VFW in Plattsmouth, Nebraska, as I was a card-carrying member). Well friends, Easyriders was nothing like the VFW.
Everyone there was a biker, and in leather, studs, tassels, or all three. I was completely out of place. I did, therefore, what I do best in these situations - I lit up a cigar and started drinking beer. This blond in a very revealing leather bra-like thing and skin-tight leather pants sits next to me at the table, across from my wife and her cousin and starts visiting with us. Apparently her and my wife's cousin's husband knew each other. Every time she spoke to me, and I turned to look at her, all I could see was cleavage. It was difficult making eye contact with her. I started sweating. My wife and her cousin, however, stared directly at her breasts with mouths agape. I was jealous at this apparent double-standard.
It had begun to rain outside, and the ceiling dripped in places, one of those places being directly to the right of this woman. She kept inching closer to me to get away from the drops. Finally, she put her hand on my leg as she was telling the story of her being on Oprah the week before during her 'makeover' series, in which her hair had gone from straight down her back, to adult-film star big hair.
I excused myself and went to the restroom. Standing at the urinal, there's an issue of 'Easy Rider' magazine behind Plexiglas at eye level, bolted to the wall with the girl I'm sitting next to on the cover. I return to my seat and ask, "Are you Ms. Easy Rider 1998?" She was, and pulled out an 8x10 glossy and signed it for me.
I've not been to a bar since.
It has been suggested that my gastronomical distress might have been caused by my over-indulgence at the ice cream social the day before. I agreed. And to test that theory, I over-indulged again today is response to the email asking that we eat the rest of the ice cream until it was gone. I'll let you know the results of my experiment.
Just a reminder that as drax0r will be out of town until Tuesday, jesskd26 won't be posting for five (5) days. "She" will magically begin posting again once he arrives back from his trip. "She" will have been 'busy' during his absence.