March 27th, 2008

Jack Sparrow


It started one night, in preparation for the December 1st party. drax0r and his wife jesskd26 came over for drinks and cigars in the garage. The night was gorgeous and he and I were setting up the outdoor computer and amp. As we started building the playlist the ladies were very clear that they didn't want any musicals on there. "But what about Frank?" drax0r asked. They acquiesced. Frank was fine. And that's how Guys & Dolls, a musical, made it on the playlist. As we were going through the possible songs, drax0r would name them, and I'd start singing them. The ladies looked upon us as if we were nuts. During one particularly rousing rendition of "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" jesskd26 quips, "Everyday."


"Everyday you do something, or say something which makes me think you might be gay." She says. "You get excited about your shoes, you're picky about your clothes...and now this. Everyday."

So its become sort of a running joke with us. Every time I burst out into song, or perform a little impromptu softshoe, or say something a touch beyond what your average metrosexual might, jesskd26 looks at me, shakes her head, and says, "Everyday."

It just so happens, that at times, I actually do bring this on myself - albeit unwittingly. For example, we were outside enjoying a break from work and I told drax0r that I was going to be a pirate for Halloween this year. And I became animated as I decided on that dude from Pirates of the Carribean. "I'm going to wear eye shadow and be Captain Jack...(I couldn't think of his last name; it was a bird. A bird who's name began with an, "S")...I'm going to wear eye shadow and be Captain Jack Swallow!

All he could do was shake his head at me and say, "Everyday."

The power of political incorrectness, is in its truth. ~ Eric Howton

And straight from my Inbox to you, something anyone who knows me in person can attest to:

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card. Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship:

  1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey.

  2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

  3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

  4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

  5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

  6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

  7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well! Again. I don't want whatever you have.

  8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsiness.

  9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.