July 10th, 2008



This is going to be a difficult tale for me to tell. Not because I'm too close to it emotionally mind you, rather its going to hard for me to articulate to you exactly how everything fits together, as even I still cannot comprehend the twisted depths of such debilitating randomness, nor its underlying root cause.

All will be revealed.

I have this friend who has begun furtively leaving innocuous posts and comments and whatnot, then dropping 'clues' as to where these 'secret' missives can be found for decryption. The earliest recorded example of this was May 28th of this year:

Cryptodynamicist: you knew when I made my post that I wanted to talk, yet you were silent.
Unsuspecting_Passerby: I beg your pardon?
Unsuspecting_Passerby: I think you overestimate my mind-reading skills.
Cryptodynamicist: you knew something was up
Unsuspecting_Passerby: What exactly did you say that would make me think you wanted to talk?
Cryptodynamicist: You knew exactly where I was going with [post title].
Unsuspecting_Passerby: WHAT?
Unsuspecting_Passerby: WTF is [post title]?
Cryptodynamicist: my post
Cryptodynamicist: you read it, right?
Unsuspecting_Passerby: Yes. I didn't get the part where I should have guessed you wanted to talk.
Unsuspecting_Passerby: Could you please point me to it?
Cryptodynamicist: it was the title and the captions
Unsuspecting_Passerby: ...WTF?
Cryptodynamicist: I thought you knew I was referring to you
Unsuspecting_Passerby: I'm reading them now, and I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.
Unsuspecting_Passerby: I still don't see the connection.
Cryptodynamicist: ok, I was wrong about that too

All will be revealed.

After this, he began bragging about his new friends, and how much he was interacting with them. I mentioned that I not only read his posts daily, but check back often for new comments and over the last couple of weeks there hasn't been any activity whatsoever on his site. He told me that his new friends have been reading my journal as well, and have taken his side on a number of issues, then sent me a link to his profile. Sure enough, there were several new names I'd never seen before. I was eager to see the level of interaction mentioned previously - I do so enjoy meeting new people. Only...every new name was a Friends-locked journal with...no entries. We're these his imaginary friends? Now I was getting nervous. But as it played out, this was only the tip of the iceberg.

All will be revealed.

The weekend of June 28th I had the fortune to enjoy a rather lengthy phone conversation with him which started out normal enough - or at least typical for us. But toward the end of our hour-long talk, he began making arcane references to posts written with so much mystery surrounding them, they were not only to not be understood by just anyone reading them, more to the point, written specifically for people who would never read them! (I told you this would be difficult to articulate.) In this, he seemed to have found his victory. His hubris. His glory.

And yet all I get from him when pressed, is 'All will be revealed.'

Still reeling from this new revelation, three days ago, I get this AIM message:

Cryptodynamicist: you'll find what you're looking for in a place that you won't look and [another lj user] will likely be the one to tell you.
EricHowton: What are you talking about? What am I looking for?
Cryptodynamicist: I've been generous enough with you and the clues

This, and nothing more. When asked yesterday if I'd found it yet, I explained in very clear terms that I would read anything he wanted me to if he sent me a link but I wasn't going to seek out the unknown in an infinite number of places. Furthermore, I told him I'd questioned [another lj user] and he'd been all like, "WTF^^ mate?"

His rage nearly surpassed anything I've seen to date, and while I stuck to my word that I had no desire to seek out some "secret message" written to "someone who would never read it" viewable only by his "invisible friends" this seemed only to fuel his fire.

He keeps promising me posts in which 'All will be revealed' but to date, his borderline batshit-crazy ramblings reveal nothing but another layer of nonsensical psychosis. And every day that passes, another promise of full-disclosure, another empty whisper of 'All will be revealed.'

So with his last sane breath, he gave me his last clue, in bold, italicized capitalized text. It was the suggestion that [another lj user] *might* have a subscription that I don't have, which is how he would've been able to see it first to pass on to me.

Fearing now for my friends ability to operate outside an asylum, I scoured [another lj user]'s site, and came to the conclusion that his RSS Feed of PostSecret was the sole "subscription" he had that I did not. Tirelessly now, I delved into them during applicable date/time groups and uncovered what could only be the burden he, and he alone carries:

All has been revealed

My friend, if you're out there, reading this - I still think you're a loser.
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