May 7th, 2011


Natural Selection

Without wanting to come off sounding selfish, I'd like to live. Now I know a great many of you are looking forward to gazing upon the face of Christ, but I'd much prefer it if you did it alone, without taking me with you. I don't really care how you do it, just leave me out of it. I'm certain of your terrible desire to self-terminate because I expend a tremendous amount of energy quite literally steering clear of your circumference of near-miss destruction. And outside of my time in Saudi Arabia, this has got to be the most densely-packed group of people who are incomprehensibly void of even basic instinctual survival I've ever mingled amongst, and I don't think the astrological sign of Pisces adorning your trunk is going to fix that anytime soon.

Its way worse than I anticipated when I first adopted the Nash Principle while driving. That was more a surface fix - a friendly guide on how politeness will always triumph over rudeness, and to systematically prove that "being right" can be very, very wrong. Dead wrong.

For example, while I may not always come to a complete stop at all stop signs - not because I feel that I'm "above the law" rather because (and I think we can all agree) the law is in place for the lowest common denominator - those who chose to live without personal responsibility - I do come to a complete stop at the yield signs, and on the frontage road where others are supposed to yield. Why do I do the opposite? Why do I not do what's right? Where I live, the stop signs have far, far more visibility both directions than many of the yield signs. "Running" the stop sign - illegally - won't get me killed, it will only get me a ticket. The same cannot be said for ignoring the yield. I would rather get a ticket than be dead. Why do you choose the potential for death? You're playing Russian Roulette with your car every time you ignore those yield signs, and I can only think of one word for that.

Let's take instinct off the table for a moment. We all can't be magnificent creatures of highly-tuned ability, after all. There are those without instinct who far surpass adaptive evolutionary traits by use of reason. Is your penchant for inattentiveness so distracting that you can't be bothered to reason your way out of not being dead? What am I to think when every single day I see you blindly run the yield signs then appear genuinely surprised that a vehicle was already traveling on the path you now occupy? That you have neither cognitive skills nor innate comprehension of life? What kind of misologist are you? Darwin was right. You really don't deserve to exist.

Fortunately, I was watching. I am always watching, and my foot was hovering over the brake. 100-times-out-of-100 you don't look, and someday you'll be dead because of it.

When you finally choose to make the ultimate sacrifice to my well-being and safety by self-culling, please leave myself and my family out of your stupid, self-destructive death-spiral.

Jesus is waiting for you.

I see everything.