December 24th, 2011



The beginning is a very delicate time. As I exist in a cycle of numerous threads in both inception and cessation I often wonder if what I am experiencing at any given moment is the start or the end of that cycle - whether or not extra care should be taken. Conclusions are much less delicate.

Everything that has a beginning has an end. There can be no growth without pruning - which makes the destroyer also the creator. I see many things. I see plans within plans, yet we can never see past the choices we don't understand. That is the stopping point for most. And while I too am unable to see past choices I don't understand by its very nature, knowing that those choices exist - even if I don't know what they are - frees me. Frees me from conventionality. From predictable trajectories.

There is another way. Always another way. I am not saddled by the burdens of polarity nor the suffering of indecision.There are not two sides to every coin, there are an infinite number of facets along its edge, each waiting to be explored and considered. I do not feel the effects of the pressure of not knowing what my future holds for the future holds no grasp upon me. My self-identity is secure in its fluidity. The more I learn, the more I change. The more I experience, the more I change. The more good that happens and the more bad that happens, the more I learn and experience and the cycle continues endlessly.

The beginning is a very delicate time, the end less so. I exist as both - a constant state of flux. Multiple, circular variables playing themselves out as scenarios caught in an endless loop of testing against rigorously questioned constants. The ends of the threads for me are nothing more than empirical milestones ringing in new beginnings.


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Has the world around me changed, or am I simply seeing it now through different eyes? If as I experience a variety of living conditions, locations, populations and cultures I learn something unique from each of them, and if those multitude of lessons reach individual conclusions that I am able to aptly apply in many facets of real-world scenarios then yes, I am seeing the world as I now perceive it, through the filter of personal experience.

Yet if everyone around me is also experiencing a variety of living conditions, locations, populations and cultures and learning something unique from each of those and applying the many facets of those multitudes of lessons in real-world scenarios then yes, the world around me is changing.

If I am doing this, and the world is also doing this, I am changing the world, and the world is changing me.

See you at the end of this zodiacal ecliptic, and the beginning of the next, and may the force be with you! (NSFW)