I beheld the earth, and, lo, it was without form, and void; and the heavens, and they had no light.1 A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct.2 What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.3 Prior to an intrinsic or extrinsic force acting upon us, we are without form.4
I am without form. The constructs which support my wholeness have evaporated, leaving me in an awkward state of flux. Disconcerting was existence without this understanding, and it explains so much. Surely this is the cause for my inaction; my doubt. One must have form before one can act, as our very actions are dependent upon whichever form we have developed; it is what defines who we are. Our worldview is something which forms based on our presuppositions of truth. Our beliefs form around our worldview, our values form around belief. Who we are forms through a series of forms. This hierarchical framework props us up, animates us; moves us and provides direction and a measurable rate of forward motion.
When one is without form, there is nothing to fall back upon - no movement, no direction, no presupposition of truth. Remaining formless gives me two choices: Forming myself by my own will, or being formed at the mercy of some external force. I choose the former, and in doing so (along with this new found understanding of formlessness) have begun the first step in re-forming myself. The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.5 I need to re-form.
Please stand by.
1 - Jeremiah 4:23
2 - Frank Herbert
3 - T.S. Eliot
4 - ehowton
5 - J.P. Morgan