August 30th, 2014



My flowerbed was filled with all number of annuals, perennials, herbs, scrubs, and weeds. Some days it was abloom with surprising beauty I'd never before seen, but also never knew when to expect it, and it usually only lasted a day before it looked like death again.

Last Halloween I was passing out candy from my front porch to a line of little ones all dressed up (as a corner house in a popular location its very busy that time of year) and one young monster was staring at the scary-looking flowerbed as if I'd purposely made it skeletal and outreaching in a horrific sort of Tim Burton way. "Scary isn't it?" I asked the poor monster-child, who nodded in agreement. The mother asked something along the lines of, "Did you do that for Halloween?" I sighed and admitted that no, it was just dead and creepy every day of the year and insinuated I was a horrible person for not caring.

Mentioning this embarrassment to Certified Master Gardener suzanne1945, she began vetting my needs by asking about the level of care I was willing to invest in maintenance. Through shaking my head back and forth at every suggestion of even minimal effort...

  • no pruning

  • no weeding

  • no watering

  • no visual inspection, ever

...she settled upon a Southerwestern (read desert) motif and after a couple of too-hot-to-actually-be-outside-working days, was ready for the part where the flowerbed needed to be inverted. I waited several weeks, but finally got it done. It took me 38-minutes, but felt like an hour. I was actually surprised I was able to get out of bed the next morning.

Will keep you posted on its progress.

Marko assists (not really).