May 22nd, 2020

Marko, Daisy

Cat Urine Dispersion Method



Male cats in particular (due to higher levels of felinine) have horrifically sulfuric urine which only gets worse and worse as it breaks down. It is also immune to most household cleaners. So you may be asking yourself, if I wanted to weaponize it how would I do so you've come to the right place. Or the wrong place as the case may be as I've discovered an effective cat urine dispersion method. As gross as that sounds, I assure you, its worse.

I was sitting in my office when I heard what sounded like the cats sharpening their claws on empty cardboard boxes sitting atop the wood floors - the type of configuration which resonates throughout the house. It was however, oddly rhythmic and decreasing in its intensity which prompted a look into the other room. Both the cats were staring at the empty box. Curious indeed.

Inspecting the area I was dismayed to discover water dripping from the ceiling A/C vent, onto the flat side of a box, spreading water in all directions over everything. Dismayed at a water leak in this 100-year-old house from our recent rainstorm, I went upstairs to ascertain its point of origin. That's when I discovered Rametap, our male Sphinx, locked in the craft room with a bowl of food, a bowl of water, and no litter box.

The cat, having needed to relieve itself, simply squatted adjacent the closet ductwork, which sadly feeds into the living room vent, dispersing urine in a wide spread pattern below Male cats in particular (due to higher levels of felinine) have horrifically sulfuric urine which only gets worse and worse as it breaks down. It is also immune to most household cleaners. So you may be asking yourself, if I wanted to weaponize it how would I do so you've come to the right place. Or the wrong place as the case may be as I've discovered an effective cat urine dispersion method. As gross as that sounds, I assure you, its worse.

I was sitting in my office when I heard what sounded like the cats sharpening their claws on empty cardboard boxes sitting atop the wood floors - the type of configuration which resonates throughout the house. It was however, oddly rhythmic and decreasing in its intensity which prompted a look into the other room. Both the cats were staring at the empty box. Curious indeed.

Inspecting the area I was dismayed to discover water dripping from the ceiling A/C vent, onto the flat side of a box, spreading water in all directions over everything. Dismayed at a water leak in this 100-year-old house from our recent rainstorm, I went upstairs to ascertain its point of origin. That's when I discovered Rametap, our male Sphinx, locked in the craft room with a bowl of food, a bowl of water, and no litter box.

The cat, having needed to relieve itself, simply squatted adjacent the closet ductwork, which sadly feeds into the living room vent, dispersing urine in a wide spread pattern below.