Log in

No account? Create an account

A Dungeon Siege Tale

Posted on 2008.10.07 at 10:00
Current Location: 75070
Current Music: Carlos - TRON; Toto - DUNE

When In the Name of the King was released on DVD it sold for $20. As a fan of the Gas-Powered game, I was interested in seeing it, but despite the big names in the cast, I figured it for a pretty bad movie and asked that she not buy it until it was marked down under $10. Despite my protestations she bought it this past weekend for $13, and even though it turned out to be a low-budget rip-off of The Lord of the Rings (complete with John Rhys-Davies marching toward a re-created Isengard atop a snow-covered ridge with a small 'fellowship' of heroes) I found enough in the film to actually enjoy it.

Leelee Sobieski & Brian J. White

I honestly can't tell you why they chose Jason Statham in the lead role, because despite all the fighting he did, they rarely used his physical abilities in those sequences. And yes, then entire movie was completely predictable, and had almost nothing to do with the video game except in naming locations and fighting the Krug; orc-like creatures fashioned straight out of LOTR with what I've been calling the "Sleestack Effect." In the mid-seventies, my brother and I used to watch a children's television show about a modern-day family who were transported back to the age of dinosaurs. There, they encountered hissing pre-industrial lizard creatures, Sleestacks, who often chased the family through the forest. My brother was afraid of these creatures, cringing when the telltale hissing began offscreen, until I pointed out to him that you could see the zippers of their costumes. In short, the Krug were as disappointingly costumed.

Kristanna Loken

Regardless of these seemingly glaring flaws, the movie was a hoot. Burt Reynolds as an aging king (he looks totally bored in the role) cast along with his Without A Paddle co-star Matthew Lillard who does an excellent job as his sniveling nephew. And Ron Perlman - without makeup! My father has this theory that seems to be standing the test of time about Mr. Perlman: When he's in makeup, he has a great role. When he is not, however...I've decided I want to see Bloodrayne now - another of Uwe Boll's "masterpieces" which have further divided his shrinking fanbase. I'd like to see Kristanna Loken in a lead role rather than just hanging from a tree.

Jason Statham & Claire Forlani

Despite all the cheesy lines and complete disregard for any semblance of real plot development, it was a fun movie to watch, made even more so by the sweeping Henning Lohner (of Media Ventures fame) score, which really surprised me, though critics say it doesn't flow well with the movie. Were I to find even a bootleg of this score, I'd snatch it up.


Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2008-10-07 15:06 (UTC) (Link)
... it looks like the sort of movie that would be vastly improved with large quantities of alcohol.

Actually, that describes just about anything, now that I think about it.
ehowton at 2008-10-07 15:15 (UTC) (Link)
My only real complaint of the movie is that all three leading ladies manage somehow to never disrobe throughout its 120-minute playing time.
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2008-10-07 15:22 (UTC) (Link)
Did the guys, er, disrobe? I mean, I could TOTALLY force myself to watch Ron Perlman naked.

Only in the spirit of scientific curiosity, of course.
ehowton at 2008-10-07 15:29 (UTC) (Link)
In the game, Jason Statham's character was able to upgrade his armor at the conclusion of various campaigns. In the movie, however, he wore only sackcloth the duration of the film.
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2008-10-07 15:35 (UTC) (Link)
Sackcloth? I like this movie already!

Well, okay, I would if I didn't think Jason Statham was fug. Alas.
galinda822 at 2008-10-07 16:12 (UTC) (Link)
Gee! There must be multiple movies you are disappointed in then. *eyeroll*
ehowton at 2008-10-07 16:22 (UTC) (Link)
Not usually, no. But I sure did enjoy these three leading ladies. They were well....um, cast.
galinda822 at 2008-10-07 16:54 (UTC) (Link)
I never much cared for Leelee Sobieski.
Cat Who Likes OpenBSD
bsdcat at 2008-10-07 17:12 (UTC) (Link)
If it's anything like the Uwe Boll crap I have seen, you are risking alcohol poisoning with this tactic. :-/
galinda822 at 2008-10-07 15:22 (UTC) (Link)
Land of the Lost

I used to watch it too.
ehowton at 2008-10-07 15:27 (UTC) (Link)
Aha! So you know exactly what I'm talking about in regard to those goofy Sleestacks.
This Is Me, Ten Sticks
lehah at 2008-10-07 16:03 (UTC) (Link)
Land Of The Lost was great fun.

Chacka see! Chacka see!
ehowton at 2008-10-07 18:20 (UTC) (Link)
I was just looking at wikipedia's article on Sid and Marty Krofft. Some of those shows sure brought back a lot of memories. Far Out Space Nuts? OMG.
galinda822 at 2008-10-07 19:50 (UTC) (Link)
I remember watching that one too! Ah, memories of childhood. So very long ago.
galinda822 at 2008-10-07 16:10 (UTC) (Link)
ehowton at 2008-10-07 18:21 (UTC) (Link)
H.R. Pufnstuf, he's your friend when things are rough.
Previous Entry  Next Entry