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Drax0r BHG

Feline DNA Modification

Posted on 2008.11.28 at 12:37
Current Location: 75409
Current Music: Beal - Music from the HBO series: Rome

Just after selling our palatial estate in Wise County (prior to moving to St. Louis) celtmanx had graciously accepted charge of our three cats Mleko, Daisy & Speedbump, as he had a 4000 sq/ft Spanish home and three cats of his own. Unfortunately, celtmanx's wife had witnessed Daisy quite unnaturally unhinging her jaw in order to devour her baby's face, whole. Legend has it that drax0r took Daisy in after that harrowing experience and celtmanx held hostage Mleko & Speedbump for his own criminally insane evil doctor experiments.

Having once visited Czechoslovakia, when my wife found a kitten no larger than the palm of her hand in a chicken coop in Nebraska the color of milk, she used the Czech name for milk, mleko. Feeding her with an eye-dropper until she was healthy, Mleko traveled these United States with us and grew into a...formidable cat. That is to say, she was quite impressive. Large.

Through a series of events, celtmanx asked if we would reclaim Mleko as our own, and we were all too pleased to be able to do so, as our two Bengals likely facing off coyotes and losing, and Daisy's passing. Unfortunately, the following before and after photos indicated only one thing: DNA modification experimentation. I don't know what he did to that poor cat, but its unsettling.

Perhaps he could do the same for me?

Before - FAT

After - SKINNY


catttitude at 2008-11-28 18:43 (UTC) (Link)
I hate you.

I cry now for my old home. I miss that house so much.
ehowton at 2008-11-28 21:09 (UTC) (Link)
Hate is such a strong word.
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2008-11-28 19:12 (UTC) (Link)
Okay, that's it: I'm putting that chunky mofo Smeagy in a cardboard box with airholes in and sending him off to celtmanx for some skinny-fication. Hope you like air travel, Smeags!
ehowton at 2008-11-28 21:08 (UTC) (Link)
Mleko did nothing but lay on the floor like a lump. Now she's all active and stuff. Weird.
galinda822 at 2008-11-28 20:08 (UTC) (Link)
She's still a beauty though! And from the little interaction I got with her, a sweetheart too!
ehowton at 2008-11-28 21:08 (UTC) (Link)
Its like having mirror-universe Mleko in the house. She's the same, but different.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2008-11-30 04:03 (UTC) (Link)
I forced her to loose weight by creating a harness suspended over our treadmill. Every day when I left for work I would put her in the harness and put a chicken leg in front of her suspended on a string. She walked all day trying to get the chicken leg but never could. She walked her way to thinness.

I have often thought of doing this to you, my padowan learner but I would have to use a Chipolte burrito smothered in cheese for it to be effective on you!!!
ehowton at 2008-11-30 04:14 (UTC) (Link)
I like the way you think.
joey_glover at 2008-11-30 16:38 (UTC) (Link)
ehowton at 2008-11-30 16:46 (UTC) (Link)
I was just thinking about you. I was reading this 13-seconds before your comment showed up http://schpydurx.livejournal.com/31107.html?thread=713347#t713347 and was reminded of sitting around a fire the day after you arrived from New Mexico.
joey_glover at 2008-12-01 03:48 (UTC) (Link)
that was a fun night
codekitten at 2008-11-30 17:37 (UTC) (Link)
beautiful cat! one of my favorites looked just like 'em.
ehowton at 2008-11-30 18:04 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! (I think she remembers me - she seems to be very happy here) Bonus!
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