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Retarded

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Posted on 2009.01.09 at 08:30
Current Location: 75070
Current Music: Best of 2008
Today's Guest Post brought to you by schpydurx:

Your site is a textbook case of hypocritical conversion disorder.

You polled for the best film of 2008 where the results were unanimous:
The Dark Knight was undoubtably the worst film of 2008, even behind that colossal gem of ignorance Indiana Jones and the Skullfucking. It was the general opinion of your readers that Dark Knight was horrible waste of celluloid--so much so, that the film used to capture the festering turd is not even fit to wipe shit from their Highnesses' heinies or that Dark Knight was a torture device that violated more human rights than Bush's Nazis in Auschwitz Guantanamo Bay. Dissenting opinions were quickly silenced like the Chinese government censoring Internet articles about Tiananmen Square. God forbid that sacred cow Skullfucking be tipped--it would amount to the treason committed by voting for John McCain.

Then we come to your best score from 2008 films. I watched the results come in this poll. Though now tied three ways for first place, the
Dark Knight score was the first to receive three votes. (And no, I didn't vote for Dark Knight--you can't vote in polls if you're banned from a journal.) I find this odd for two reasons: Hans Zimmer worked on the score and it's the score to your reader's most hated movie of 2008!

I had to stop and ask myself, "How can this be?"

How can it be that the same bunch of people who claimed that their most hated film of 2008 allegedly had less intelligence than an episode of
Sesame Street possibly contain the best score from 2008? After all, the whole is the sum of its parts. If the Dark Knight was as much of an assault on filmmaking as certain of your readers have made it out to be, I don't understand how it's possible that the score could have went untinkered by (what some in your audience must think anyway) that hack, Chris Nolan. After all, if Ridley Scott tinkers with his scores and he's a hack, certainly Nolan is no better. Who the hell does he think he is anyway? It's not like he's made any real films (with perhaps the exception of Memento), but I'm sure that there are some here who find that film just as pretentious as it's director.

I have pondered this for days and I'll be the first one to tell you that there's only one explanation for it: hypocritical conversion disorder.

See,
even to a guy like me the only thing that makes any sense is that the same mentality that led the masses to flock to Lord and Savior Barack Obama, The Most Merciful is the same mentality shared amongst those readers who have so throughly trashed what will go down as the most revolutionary film of 2008. The majority of your readers are the cattle you so glibly refer to when discussing humanity--cud-chewing, dull-eyed, mooing, go-with-the-flow, phony-bologna, plastic banana,, good time rock n' rolling dumbasses. Skulls full of mush if you will.

The only eyebrow raiser in this whole charade is that someone didn't point out that had
Dark Knight only had a better producer/director like George Lucas or a better composer like John Williams, the film could have been truly great. As it is, we had to deal with a wannabe hack who ought to be stretched out and flogged for the despicable deification known as The Dark Knight.


Comments:


Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2009-01-09 14:28 (UTC) (Link)
I like pie.
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-01-09 16:10 (UTC) (Link)
Meat pie?
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-01-09 14:54 (UTC) (Link)
One of the most prominent film award ceremonies in the world is the Oscars, which was conceived by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer studio boss, Louis B. Mayer himself, as well as the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences which nominate and judge these films annually, awarded for their excellence in cinematic achievement. Currently there are 24 disparate awards presented to the best in the broad spectrum of each distinct specialty which makes up the whole: Production, Acting, Technical, Sound and visual effects, Music, Costume and makeup, and Animation. No one film has ever walked away with every award because they each represent the best in their category. Just because one is strong, doesn't mean other is. Sure they're approached wholly, but they're each dissected to their core elements within that breakout. It really is a simple concept.

But what you're suggesting is they shouldn't be? Because you're...smarter?

I disagree with your hypothesis and conclusion.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2009-01-09 17:23 (UTC) (Link)
How can the score be that good if the film was that bad? I know this happens on rare occasion, but surely not in this case.
Joshua Gizelt
swashbuckler332 at 2009-01-09 15:54 (UTC) (Link)
Putz.
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-01-09 15:58 (UTC) (Link)
I was unaware a single, well placed word could be so concise, and yet wield so much power while simultaneously succeeding at flawless summation until this point.
Samantha
thesweetestnote at 2009-01-09 16:32 (UTC) (Link)
hummm?.... I loved both films. It's entertainment. heh...Skullfucking...c'mon - really. This guy doesn't happen to write for Rolling Stone does he?


BTW Sesame Street is very intelligent for it's demographic.

and pie sounds good right now ;)
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-01-09 16:46 (UTC) (Link)
This guy doesn't happen to write for Rolling Stone does he?
He does not, though he does fancy himself a budding journalist/screenwriter/director.

BTW Sesame Street is very intelligent for it's demographic.
Perspective! What a refreshing concept! Sadly, we sometimes go on and on without it.

I loved both films. It's entertainment.
I was more entertained by KotCS than I was by TDK, but in all fairness, I plan on watching TDK again as it was such a long, comprehensive...long film. Surely there are things that I missed.
This Is Me, Ten Sticks
lehah at 2009-01-09 17:00 (UTC) (Link)
Dear Sir (or Madame) schpydurx,
You may be right.
Sincerely yours, HL Mencken
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2009-01-09 17:21 (UTC) (Link)
Please discuss. I would love to have your take on this.
Tat-Man the Zombie Hunter
scareypete at 2009-01-09 18:15 (UTC) (Link)
my my the children certainly are entertaining.

Umm... does your critic realize that not voting something the best doesn't make it the worst

There fore the dark knight could be a second choice for every single person who chose something else to be their pick for best of the year.

So if in theory everyone's #2 or #3 Pick happened to be scored quite well they would obviously pick it for best score.

Although I think we are just used to epic scores in all things Bat Man, the Tim Burton Films were all very well scored. The animated series were well scored as well.

Honestly though... the Joker thing. The phenomenon left in its wake is disgusting. I know a young man who seriously ordered the fake scars from some movie make-up site and asked his boss if he can wear them to work. (not on dress up day either) Heath Ledger did a good job with what he was given...

I think the most tragic thing about the Dark Knight is that the Comic Book aspect was lost. (Apart from Christian Bales awful voice in costume) the Golden Age of comics was an awesome time. Seeing the little books I cherished from my childhood slowly turn into these violent bloody affairs is kinda sad. Then to see the dark brutal graphic novels translated into Darker more brutal films is tragic.

I prefer Cesar Romero's Joker working in concert with Burgess Meridith's Penguin on a weekly basis at the same Bat Time on the Same bat Channel. Now that was Entertainment.
This Is Me, Ten Sticks
lehah at 2009-01-09 18:30 (UTC) (Link)
danzigfried
danzigfried at 2009-01-09 19:07 (UTC) (Link)
Here's my stance...
Until tomas (notice the little 't'? It matches his little 'p') delivers an oscar-worthy, nay, even a high-school-grade short-film instead of burgers and fries from his local Sonic, he should not a) Waste electricity by typing, b) Convert oxygen by breathing (the trees will still survive if he doesnt assist the conversion process), or c) Attempt to think.
I guess he does serve ONE purpose: He does give guests on the Jerry Springer show a chance to look down on someone lower than they are and to realize their lives dont suck NEARLY as bad as his.
Quicksilvermad
quicksilvermad at 2009-01-10 03:10 (UTC) (Link)
Hmmm... I'm being compared to cattle now?

Apropos, I suppose, that I am forbidden to donate blood because of the time I lived in Greece during the mad cow disease breakout. So I'm guessing the dull-eyed, cud-chewing, mooing thing is close enough...

Whatever, dude. Just because people have different opinions doesn't make them wrong. And it really does not make someone stupid to like something else more. They're opinions. Get over it.
This Is Me, Ten Sticks
lehah at 2009-01-10 03:43 (UTC) (Link)
Whatever, dude. Just because people have different opinions doesn't make them wrong.

The opinion is the single element of a person which *should* be attacked. Unlike any other trait, they're something you choose to have -- and they can be horribly wrong. My opinion is that fish can breathe oil! My opinion is that housecats should be crushed by pyramids! My opinion is that Star Wars is real! Those are bad, bad opinions -- and they should certainly be called stupid.

Your opinion is stupid. Please take that as a proper title and not some empty, glib internet insult the likes of which you seem to have mastered.
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