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Who am I?

Posted on 2009.02.09 at 00:00
Current Location: 75409
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I'm not your friend or your lover; either those that drift into or out of your life, or those who stick around because they like you.

I'm not your buddy, I'm not your pal. I won't overlook your social indiscretions without a word.

I'm not your brother, as we are not equals.

I am not your mother, I did not give birth to you.

I'm not your employer. You will not get an honest day's pay for an honest day's work.

I am not your priest - confessions here come with no guaranteed absolution. Roll the dice.

I'm not your teacher, though it is my job to ensure you learn the things they can't teach you.

Neither am I your coach - his role is narrowly defined. I'm not your music instructor or your drama instructor - they teach you what to do; I make readily available to you the tools to learn how to enjoy them.

I am not your drill instructor, though I will prepare you for him.

I am not your manservent; butlers are deprecated.

Who am I?

I am your father. Our relationship is unlike anything else you will ever have, yet inclusive of the above list as well, because my only job is your happiness and success. There are no guarantees in life, and life isn't fair. At various points you will be exhilarated beyond your imagination and also emotionally wounded, filled with joy and at times filled with pain. You will experience love, and you will feel the sting of hate. There are times you will know pride and rightfully so - other times you will think you've hit bottom. All of these things, however, you will learn from. People will pass through your life at a dizzying rate; Some for better, some for worse, but there is one thing you will always be able to count on, forever:

I will never leave you.


dawaioser at 2009-02-09 09:36 (UTC) (Link)
That was powerful. Did you write this or was it something said to you by your father?

The whole concept of "father" has always been effed up in my world. I dare not go into it here but even now - as a grown woman - I still feel that emotional pull.
ehowton at 2009-02-09 19:39 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. I wrote it for my children; it is however, reminiscent of my own father, though he never had to speak the words, rather showing us, everyday.
catttitude at 2009-02-09 14:12 (UTC) (Link)
I am brought to tears. It fills my heart to know that you are a fantastic father, wonderful husband and caring man. Your words of reassurance hit home to me as you well know my flaws mostly come from the pain of abandonment. To you my husband, here is to you.
ehowton at 2009-02-09 16:49 (UTC) (Link)
I see places all the time where I could improve, but am too selfish to do so, so I just do the best I can with who I am.
thesweetestnote at 2009-02-09 19:32 (UTC) (Link)
They should print this out at hospitals and give them out upon leaving or place them in those diaper bags full of samples along with the samples of Similac. Very Powerful! Your pic too. I feel as if I did something wrong :| ... I'm gonna go call my father.

Beautiful piece.
ehowton at 2009-02-09 19:37 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. The picture at the bottom wasn't meant to look reproachful though!
thesweetestnote at 2009-02-09 22:23 (UTC) (Link)
Understood. The picture to me is really commanding of respect. Which is not reproachful at all. I was making a silly joke. I tell my kids that I am not their friend,chum, buddy, etc. I am their parent. Their mom babies them, I lay down the law. Period. They'll grow to be men one day, the world is tough... u get the picture. But all in a loving way.
ex_crowy at 2009-02-09 19:59 (UTC) (Link)
Very nice, Sir.
ehowton at 2009-02-09 20:09 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, ma'am.
wardlejew at 2009-02-09 20:54 (UTC) (Link)
Fantastic. You can tell you care about your kids, and your role as father. I was moved.

With great hesitancy I say the following. I do not want to put a damper on your words, or make your words less meaningful then I know they are, but I'm working on a little spin of it. Would you like to see it?
ehowton at 2009-02-09 21:10 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. And asolutely, though I have no idea what you're talking about. Is this something you, too, plan on posting?
wardlejew at 2009-02-09 21:31 (UTC) (Link)
It started when I thought "I want to be a friend to my boys. They are my buddies," so I started flipping everything around in your poem. Here is what I came up with. It is still a little rough. I don't have your gift for writing.

I am your friend, I will always love you, I drift in and out from work each day, In the future you will likely wish I stick around less than I do.

I am your buddy, I am your pal, but you know without a word when I am dissapointed with you.

In spirit, I am your brother, I am your equal as a child of a greater Father.

I married your mother, and together we will give her honor.

I am your first employer, you will learn what is earned feels much better then what is freely given, though it may be much harder

I am a priesthood holder, but I will help you see repentance comes from Another.

I will be your teacher, teaching those things that are most important, to teach the rest I do rely on others.

I'm sure to be your coach some day, we will learn sportmanship together. I will teach you music and influence your drama, but understand your tastes may fall from the tree a little further.

I am your earthly father. Oh, what a great honor!

I will always be there.

Again, I don't mean to put down anything you say in your poem. In fact, in my opinion, I have to be be what you said too. i.e. I want to be my boys' friend, but at times I have to shed that role for another.

ehowton at 2009-02-09 21:38 (UTC) (Link)
Not at all - that's a beautiful rendition, just from a different perspective. Thank you so much for sharing your vision of fatherhood! I agree with many of those but was coming at it from a different angle - that is, the differences. You built upon the similarities.
irulan_amy at 2009-02-10 05:22 (UTC) (Link)
Wow. Powerful.

Nicely done.
ehowton at 2009-02-10 12:46 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you ma'am.
(Anonymous) at 2009-03-06 05:10 (UTC) (Link)

Love this photo of you paisano.

Really, you have that Vangelis look. Frame that one.

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