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Drax0r BHG

Swine Flu

Posted on 2009.04.27 at 10:15
Current Location: 75070
Current Music: Zimmer - Gladiator

Quick to the point to the point no faking
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon.


drax0r gave me the Swine Flu. That hog-like bastard arrives on my doorstep coughing and wheezing Thursday night and I wanted to send him home. But just like the enormous white sow in the room no one wants to talk about, he comes in and gets settled - like that filthy hunk of mucus on the Mucinex® commercials. Come Saturday, and I have the tell-tale tickle in the back of my throat.

Saturday I had planned to do the yard again. Every weekend this month, actually. And while the mower would start, it would not run. I pulled off the housing and inspected the spark-plug and air-filter, determining both of them required replacing. I downloaded the engine pdf and couldn't find a fuel-filter, so let that be. A quick run to Lowe's and back, and I was in business. Another downloaded pdf, this one the Rain-Bird E6c automatic sprinkler system, reprogrammed that and watered the lawn after fertilizing.

I had a foreboding feeling about my overall health after my shower, feeling weaker than usual. I didn't think about that bearded pig until the tickle. Then I started cursing his name. As if giving me his Swine Flu weren't enough, you know what he did at the height of my misery? Called me and invited me over for beer! He'd just cracked an ice-cold keg of Dos Equis.

My name is Eric, and I live in a Swine Flu Border-State.





Also, swine-flu + twitter on http://xkcd.com/574.

Comments:


pgrtop
pgrtop at 2009-04-27 15:33 (UTC) (Link)
One word, Zicam!
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-04-27 19:13 (UTC) (Link)
Shazaam!
~JungMee~
sacredyuja at 2009-04-27 16:25 (UTC) (Link)
bleh this swine flu has everyone at work in a tizzy. Co workers canceling plans to go out to NYC tonight, they might catch it on the subway and such!

At any rate, I certainly hope you do not have swine flu. Hopefully it's just some allergies :)

I bet Dr's offices are blowing up with people thinking they have swine flu when it's just seasonal allergies...hehehe
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-04-27 19:19 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, I'm sure its just a cold, but it was plastered all over the news this morning, so I thought I'd run with it. I lived in New Jersey in 1997-1998 and they blamed everything from lawn health to nasal warts on El Niño that year!

~JungMee~
sacredyuja at 2009-04-27 19:38 (UTC) (Link)
LOL - I totally remember the El Nino buzz. My sister and I actually got really sick from El Nino. Sister lost 15lbs and I lost 10lbs. We weren't able to hold anything down for more than 20 min. [TMI I know] but the Dr's blamed it on El Nino!
Samantha
thesweetestnote at 2009-04-27 22:25 (UTC) (Link)
Nasal WHAT?!?!?!
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-04-28 00:03 (UTC) (Link)
I dunno, sounded better than vaginal warts.
Samantha
thesweetestnote at 2009-04-28 13:48 (UTC) (Link)
"Vaginal" almost makes anything sound better doesn't it?

vaginal flu... see? Almost

hummm... swine vaginal flu.... bleh ... well like I said "almost" LOL
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-04-28 14:37 (UTC) (Link)
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Samantha
thesweetestnote at 2009-04-27 16:32 (UTC) (Link)
INTERIOR: NIGHT [Dark, smoke filled room]My name is Samantha, and I also live on a Swine Flu Border-State.

[Other Border State Residents - in monotone lazy voices] Hi Samantha

Living in this state does make me a bit uncomfortable. Especially when Mexico is only a few miles away from my front door. If I get it, I'm pretty much f***ed!

Eh, so is life.
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-04-27 19:20 (UTC) (Link)
[Other Border State Residents - in monotone lazy voices] Hi Samantha. When I was a youth, it was their KILLER BEES! Scared the bejesus outta me.
lesabre500
lesabre500 at 2009-04-28 03:31 (UTC) (Link)
Oink. I hope I don't get it now after popping by here to say hi. I have to go wash my hands again now. Shit.
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-04-28 14:36 (UTC) (Link)
You're supposed to wash your hands for as long as it takes you to recite the 'Happy Birthday' song.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2009-05-02 02:23 (UTC) (Link)
You sick bastard!!! I'm glad you are feeling better!!!
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