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Something is seriously wrong with me...

Posted on 2009.06.16 at 14:40
Current Location: 75070
Last night I dreamed I was a cop checking a lead into a series of murders. It was late and there was this old two-story house in a quiet tree-lined neighborhood. There was a turret attached to the house filled with a translucent red bubbling liquid visible through the narrow windows which stacked up the turret's walls, but I couldn't find the exterior access which acted as a trapdoor, depositing people into its captivity.

I entered the house. It was an old-woman's house with doilies and antique furniture. Dark paneled walls down a narrow hallway leading into a large living area with threadbare carpet in the rear of the house. There were collections of trinkets everywhere, some of which I recognized as personal items of the murdered victims. It was quiet in the house and I went to inspect them.

Then the lady who owned the house - much younger than I expected, but obviously crazy appeared from the adjacent kitchen with a revolver pointed at me. Then she softened, because she thought I was Eric Delko from CSI: Miami. Seizing advantage of this, I let my mouth go slack and my eyes glaze over and started acting soft-headed, as if I were retarded. She began fussing over me as I surreptitiously mentally inventoried all the knick-knacks in her house for my report. She left to the kitchen again and my radio activated. It was my partner and he was on the premise, getting ready to burst in. Backup was on its way. But he never made it inside.

The trapdoor to the turret was apparently a sidewalk block which tilted when he stood on it and pitched him into an underground tunnel, forcing him into the liquid filled turret.

Then backup arrived, arrested the crazy lady and fished my partner from the turret. I went to the set of CSI: Miami to meet with Adam Rodriquez and explain how I thought he was ill cast as a Miami 'player' because his constant mouth-breathing on the show made him look retarded, and the chance I took by acting retarded when the crazy lady thought I was him had saved my life.

He took it all in stride.

Two nights ago I dreamed I was in my father-in-law's garage with my Pastel Blue 1976 Jaguar, only he was a rich baron in England, and we were besieged by unknown persons with directed energy weapons. It was up to me to get us out. I converted my Jag into a white Jaguar limo/taxi transport vehicle , covered the back and side windows with a thick berber carpet, and burst out of the garage, the strong Jaguar engine pulling me to safety. I met up with drax0r at Tesco, but I was saddened my once-beautiful Jag was now essentially a tank.

I walked into Tesco and thought I saw this girl from Britain I was once in love with (but ended up sleeping with her sister instead). Were they both here? I began to panic and made my way outside as stealthily as possible. drax0r was already outside so we jumped in the Jag and began motoring down the highway. I'd forgotten that I engineered a way to convert my car back to its original body style, pushed a button, and the vehicle shed itself of its white exterior and carpet-covered windows, turning back into my gleaming XJ 3.4 and we accelerated almost unnaturally back to the garage, where a celebration was taking place to our success!


Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2009-06-16 20:59 (UTC) (Link)
All my dreams lately have involved things like grocery shopping and weeding the garden (no, not a euphemism!).

I feel so mundane.
ehowton at 2009-06-16 22:50 (UTC) (Link)
Eat an entire sausage pizza before bed.
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2009-06-17 04:23 (UTC) (Link)
Is THAT some kind of euphemism?
ehowton at 2009-06-17 12:04 (UTC) (Link)
Personally, before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a 'how's your father'!
thesweetestnote at 2009-06-17 23:45 (UTC) (Link)
Are you possibly in the nude doing these things? That's not very mundane :)
glodowg at 2009-06-16 21:37 (UTC) (Link)
You scare me...
ehowton at 2009-06-16 22:50 (UTC) (Link)
Sometimes...I scare myself. And these were some of my more sane dreams!
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2009-06-17 01:40 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, to sleep perchance to dream!!!
ehowton at 2009-06-17 12:07 (UTC) (Link)
Aye, there's the rub.
quicksilvermad at 2009-06-17 02:12 (UTC) (Link)
"You eyein' my lemon drink?" =Old crazy lady in my head now (thanks, The Happening. And the guys at Rifftrax.).

I had a dream a few nights ago about en eyelash viper slithering around an office/house or something... I followed it around a cubicle with my mother walking carefully behind me. As I grabbed the snake by the tail (something I've actually done in the waking world) it turned its head around and sunk its fangs into the meaty part of my thumb.

I can understand the symbolism, but why would my brain pick an eyelash viper and not a snake I've actually handled—like a python, garden/rat snake, or water moccasin (yes, I dragged a water moccasin out of our backyard waaaaay back when)? I've never even seen an eyelash viper in person. Our brains pick strange images when we sleep—I've been watching scores of horror films before I finally manage to nod off, but all my dreams are pleasant. Strangely, the snake is the only "strange" dream I've had since I started doing this.

Either that, or there is a deep part of my brain that associates Bruce Campbell/Sean Bean/whomever with all that is good and decent in the world. Which is amusing since Sean Bean usually plays horrible people in horror films (though he was infinitely sweeter than the "main character" of The Dark).
ehowton at 2009-06-18 15:14 (UTC) (Link)
Eyelash viper huh? While the symbolism in female snake dreams has many connotations, I will refrain from assuming some of the more obvious ones.

I have read that both 'struggling' with and 'being bit' by one in your dreams opens up the possibility that whatever your subconscious conflict, is not as insurmountable as it may first appear - and that's good news!
thesweetestnote at 2009-06-17 23:42 (UTC) (Link)
I love your dream entries! I think you should submit some to the folks over at Adult Swim's Robot Chicken. Make some $$$ outta them.

My dreams have been work related nightmares. :(
ehowton at 2009-06-18 15:19 (UTC) (Link)
Ah, the lifelong American dream of being paid for just being yourself. Hrm, my dreams = American dream?
thesweetestnote at 2009-06-18 16:49 (UTC) (Link)
Indeed! Dylan did it. And still can't sing worth a damn but he's someone to love, y'know?
ehowton at 2009-06-19 02:51 (UTC) (Link)
Lay lady lay, across my big brass bed.
thesweetestnote at 2009-06-19 20:29 (UTC) (Link)
irulan_amy at 2009-06-18 03:16 (UTC) (Link)

The detail in which you remember your dreams is amazing. I only tend to remember the scary ones that well...
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2009-06-18 05:04 (UTC) (Link)
It's his gift and his curse!!!
ehowton at 2009-06-18 15:36 (UTC) (Link)
It makes bedtime fun!
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