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I FACEBOOKED YOUR MOM

Posted on 2009.07.15 at 01:30
Current Location: 75409
Current Music: Myth, Faith, Belief
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There's this guy at work, we'll call him "Bob." I make fun of Bob mercilessly because its so darn easy, and he's so good natured. "Bob" invited me to to join his network on one of those viral social networking groups (you know the ones, where every asshole you've ever known can 'add' you whether you've spoken to them in 20-years or not).

Ok, so I have an account on nearly all them - they all point here, to my livejournal. Not effectively, mind you, but still. So anyway, just like I do with all the other god-forsaken alerts I seem to get, I deleted it. Well guess who drags his forlorn ass into work with the long face thinking maybe I didn't like him? That's right, "Bob."

There's now a list on my whiteboard at work with a LIST OF THINGS I DON'T RESPOND TO:

  • Facebook

  • Classmates

  • Plaxo

  • Linkd-In

  • Twitter



Plaxo actually found me a job last month and emailed me a very exciting email. Taco Bell Assistant Manager. Yeah. Well done, Plaxo. Go fuck yourself. I also have something like 1700 requests alone to play eff'ing poker with so-and-so on Facebook. Hell, photogoot's ex-wife sent me an email last week asking me why I hadn't accepted her request six months ago. I simply cannot seem to give a rat's ass about every minute move or which asinine game you people think is cool. Its just overwhelming.

High school. Let's see. Anyone I want to talk to from high school? Um...no. I don't even know these people anymore!

I stopped cross-posting to xanga when they added a checkbox to automatically log in and cross post to Facebook. The problem? YOU HAVE TO MANUALLY UNCHECK IT EACH TIME. Screw that. Xanga doesn't even have threaded comments. They're dead to me.

I ask, is there something wrong with me, or the rest of the world?




Comments:


CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2009-07-15 06:37 (UTC) (Link)
"High school. Let's see. Anyone I want to talk to from high school? Um...no. I don't even know these people anymore!"

What about friends from Jr. High!!! Did you think about them.

"I ask, is there something wrong with me, or the rest of the world?"

It's you there's something wrong with you. You insensitive bastard!!!

Edited at 2009-07-15 06:39 am (UTC)
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-07-15 06:44 (UTC) (Link)
It's you there's something wrong with you. You insensitive bastard!!!

This does appear to be a reoccurring theme.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2009-07-15 06:42 (UTC) (Link)
I face booked you and you didn't even respond!!!
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2009-07-15 06:48 (UTC) (Link)
"I simply cannot seem to give a rat's ass about every minute move"

What's time got to do with it!!!
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-07-15 14:02 (UTC) (Link)

Funny

mi⋅nute

2  /maɪˈnut, -ˈnyut, mɪ-/
[mahy-noot, -nyoot, mi-]
–adjective.

  1. extremely small, as in size, amount, extent, or degree: minute differences.

  2. of minor importance; insignificant; trifling.

  3. attentive to or concerned with even the smallest details: a minute examination.

Misha
dawaioser at 2009-07-15 11:45 (UTC) (Link)
OK, yes. I agree. It took me years before I would LOG BACK IN on FB & even now I wonder why I bother...but unfortunately I'm addicted to their stupid flair buttons. Crack rock I tell you.


I installed a program called "Greasemonkey" and that worked/s great for about 95% of the quizzes & other stupid applications, but now my friends are finding a way around it. SO ANNOYING! I've been setting it on "IGNORE" for each result, and that uses more time than I want to spend on FB.

Don't even get me started on how asinine the applications like "I've sent you a golden egg (treasure, kiss, round of drinks, whatever)" are. Someone actually had the audacity to send me one that says "Let's be REAL FRIENDS" & you had to go through 23 million steps to be a part of it. (deleted as spam) BS - a close friend would know I hate that crap and they'd be better off emailing me. I sheepishly admit I kept one application from my best friend. She sent me a "Shiny Butt Kiss". Enough said/LOL.
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-07-15 17:13 (UTC) (Link)
I feel your pain. I really do. I don't want to be a part of your:



Although someone did once 'identify' me on a photo someone had uploaded.
Fionna
fionnabard at 2009-07-15 14:17 (UTC) (Link)
I don't do the whole facebook/social networking thing. I have an LJ where half my posts are personal, all the rest are friends locked. I post so infrequently, I'd never keep up with more than one site.

Two real reasons I don't have accounts with any of those sites...
#1 Why should I? Does facebook serve some purpose? Perhaps I haven't figured out it's use yet.
#2 and I quote...
"If you’re planning to apply for a job with the city of Bozeman, prepare to clean up your Facebook page.

As part of routine background checks, the city asks job applicants to provide their usernames and passwords for their social-networking sites. And it has been doing it for years, city officials said."

As an HR Manager, I'd say this will be more and more common. I google search every applicant my company gets. If I find out anything, you'd better believe I make a note of it. I don't bother with the asking for usernames, I start with the email address, then go to their name, then their phone number, you'd be amazed at the fact you can find almost any hobby people have by doing this. Often I've come across something that qualifies as tmi and tossed an application based just on that. Of course, when you have 1 job and 400+ resumes cut back to 150 qualified, you have to screen on something to get an interview list. Character seems like a good one to me.
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-07-15 16:56 (UTC) (Link)
Though I've never been in HR, in my experience criteria for selection is based wholly upon the market. In the 90s I read a list of the worst interviewee questions ever asked - the top worst question was, "Will you flatbed my Porsche?"

While hysterical at the time, during the IT boom where we were sought out and promised outrageous salaries and benefits, that seemed like an entirely acceptable demand - and companies were willing to bend over backwards to obtain us. Now that the IT bubble has burst, and moreso that we're in a recession, the tables have once again turned. But these things are cyclic...
wardlejew
wardlejew at 2009-07-15 14:18 (UTC) (Link)
Settings my friend. It is all about settings. The only Facebook emails I get(per my settings) are from people requesting to be a friend. After that first week, I get one a week maybe. I don't have to go to Facebook to monitor people, I just have to say OK and make them feel good about themselves. I must admit I do play Farkle from time to time. But generally, I've set my settings to put photos and relevant material as high priority viewing items. "A little setup goes a long way."

Conclusion: I ask, is there something wrong with me, or the rest of the world?

There is something wrong with you, but there is something really wrong with the rest of the world!
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-07-15 17:14 (UTC) (Link)
I just have to say OK and make them feel good about themselves.

See, why can't I do that?
This Is Me, Ten Sticks
lehah at 2009-07-15 16:46 (UTC) (Link)
I dunno. Taco Bell membership sounds choice. You could act like a douche and get fired because its just a job at Taco Bell.

Or you could work there and, like, eat everything forever. And get fired for that.
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-07-15 17:19 (UTC) (Link)
My dream job is the greeter dude at Wal-Mart. Perhaps I'm aiming too high and should accept the Taco Bell position.
irulan_amy at 2009-07-15 20:34 (UTC) (Link)
The people who take social networking seriously drive me batshit crazy. I've had more than one person give me a hard time for not playing games on Facebook and one who thought I was upset with her because I didn't write back to a message within a week. Oh - and the person who took it personally that I didn't add them as a friend.

You are not alone.
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-07-15 20:51 (UTC) (Link)
I pride myself on being most polite. Its becoming increasingly difficult for me to find a polite way to say, "Get a life."

Thank you so much for the validation.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2009-07-16 00:49 (UTC) (Link)
I just tried to facebook your mom!!!
ehowton
ehowton at 2009-07-16 01:00 (UTC) (Link)
Damn you really are on a roll dude. My father-in-law is here. Says, "Tell the one-armed bandito hi."
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2009-07-17 06:17 (UTC) (Link)
Ok, so I have an account on nearly all them - they all point here, to my livejournal. Not effectively, mind you, but still. [emphasis mine]
You're doing it all wrong. You have to aggressively use each social network to its fullest potential to drive traffic back to a common place of content. Pay attention to what I do when I post and you too will have an exciting, happy, successful blogging career.

Each social network has its purpose and place. Granted, I haven't used Plaxo or Classmates.

I stopped cross-posting to xanga when they added a checkbox to automatically log in and cross post to Facebook. The problem? YOU HAVE TO MANUALLY UNCHECK IT EACH TIME. Screw that.
You can change this behavior in your account settings to have the box unchecked by default.

ehowton
ehowton at 2009-07-17 15:52 (UTC) (Link)
You can change this behavior in your account settings to have the box unchecked by default.

That's fantastic! Want to impress me though? HAVE IT DISABLED BY DEFAULT!
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