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Damn that Ninja's Fast

Posted on 2009.08.16 at 17:00
Current Location: 75409

Unexpectedly took my boy to see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra when my wife and daughter went shopping for school supplies today. Replace Duke's Channing Tatum with Josh Duhamel (this generation's Michael Biehn) and swap that Wayans brother with Jamie Foxx and you have a Transformers meets Stealth mash-up. At least that's how I perceived it.

And there was a lot of action. I mean, a lot. My son sat through the entire thing without a word. He didn't care for the few cartoons he'd seen, but appeared to enjoy the movie with a air of ambivalence only a 9-year-old can pull off. It was violent at times, but thankfully without gore, and all the really "scary" bad things were fairly mild. It was rated PG-13 for "strong sequences of action violence and mayhem throughout." Yeah, that about covers it.

I never read the comic books as a child, but my brother and I played extensively with the action figures, creating our own backstory as we went along fueled by an acceptance of a stunning versatility children's imaginations contain.

Warning: Comments Contain Spoilers


Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2009-08-17 03:42 (UTC) (Link)
Are you forcing my hand or something? I won't be able to tackle this topic until at least tomorrow evening. Too many other, more important things that need to be written.

P.S. We're winning the battle here in District 5.
ehowton at 2009-08-17 11:40 (UTC) (Link)
Ninja, please!
exorhi at 2009-08-17 03:43 (UTC) (Link)
Nice pictures. The first one was the best.
ehowton at 2009-08-17 11:45 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. It was initially the sole pic. I added the others in a later draft.
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2009-08-17 05:24 (UTC) (Link)
Josh Duhamel (this generation's Michael Biehn)


Michael Biehn >>>>>>> Josh Duhamel
ehowton at 2009-08-17 11:56 (UTC) (Link)
Regardless, somebody has to fill those roles, right? Who would be your pick? I shudder to think you'd choose that slow-witted Ch-Ch-Ch-Channing Tatum. In the role he was basically a Forrest Gump in unform.
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2009-08-17 13:56 (UTC) (Link)
All these himbos are all so depressingly vacant-looking; I don't think I could pick any of them. I can't even get worked up at the thought of any of them in tight leather.

Why doesn't Emile Hirsch make movies where he wears tight black leather? This is so unfair. *sulk*
ehowton at 2009-08-17 14:01 (UTC) (Link)
Ok ok ok - imagine this; Emile Hirsch pulls up in the Mach 5, and he's hunched over the steering wheel, kinda like on your wallpaper, but in the car; he turns his head up slowly and says, in that soft Euro-drawl of his, "Come with me if you want to live."

thesweetestnote at 2009-08-17 15:57 (UTC) (Link)
Matthew Mcconaughey has my vote for "Duke" but only if he sported the look he had in Reign of Fire.

kat_rowe at 2009-08-17 16:56 (UTC) (Link)
What struck me again as I watched the movie (which I felt was mislabelled with that name because it focused more on Duke than on Destro or the other Cobras and, given where it ended, I wouldn't say it was Corba's best hour, so "rise" doesn't seem appropriate, imo, but that's a different random digression) is that the good ninja always wears black while the evil ninja always wears white (and what kind of ninja wears white anyways?) ... I mean, wtf is up with that?

Also, on that note, Snake Eyes is completely ftw: http://www.badassoftheweek.com/snakeeyes.html
ehowton at 2009-08-17 17:16 (UTC) (Link)
..."rise" doesn't seem appropriate,
I too was all like, wtf? You got caught.

I mean, wtf is up with that?
My son was confused by that dichotomy as well.

Snake Eyes is completely ftw
I just discovered that Ray Park was SnakeEyes. In a word, 'perfect.'
kat_rowe at 2009-08-17 17:25 (UTC) (Link)
I probably wouldn't have done if I hadn't essentially been promised a Cobra origin-story and then it doesn't even focus on the Cobras heavily except for the Baroness who suddenly, instead of just being an evil badass, is the poor brainwashed victim of male machinations...

*wanders off to empty her stomach*

Loved movie!SnakeEyes but could have done without the backstory. I really liked that the Joes are now multinational (makes everything they get away with seem less vigilante) but having a firm grasp on the backstory of Snake Eyes just seems wrong...
kat_rowe at 2009-08-17 17:26 (UTC) (Link)
So I'm on par with a 9-year-old in my thinking? ;p

I get the idea of mixing up traditional stereotypes of good and evilbut what kind of ninja wears white? How is that unobtrusive at night when ninjas seem to ply most of their trade? Plus, you know, couple years as a medical assistant speaking, it's impossible to get blood out of white fabric...
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2009-08-20 06:23 (UTC) (Link)
The movie was good. The volume was too loud in the theater we saw it in. The actor that played Duke, Channing Tatum was a little young to be a Major though. The actress Rachel Nichols, whose battle armor was interesting yet comical, also played Gaila, the Orion female roommate of Uhara in the new Star Trek movie.
ehowton at 2009-08-20 11:25 (UTC) (Link)
Nice! November 17th dude. I'm so there.
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