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Buddy Christ

"The Talk"

Posted on 2010.02.08 at 07:05
Current Location: 75409
Current Music: Michael Groth - Free Beats IV, "Hypnose"

Completely WORK SAFE: 3:53

When unixwolf spent Glowfest weekend with us, he explained that 10-years old was just about the right time to have "the talk."

Really? Ten? The talk? YIKES!

So last week, I began drafting a quick & dirty of the things I wanted to cover - as talking points - and set out to make a video he could watch any time he wanted. That way, he wouldn't be forced to discuss anything he didn't want to. It had to be brief enough and visually busy enough keep his attention, funny enough to lighten the mood, but also long enough & serious enough to hammer out what I thought was important. That's a tall order!
My own foray into the wilderness was much more...clinical: When I went looking for information as a youth all I could find at the library was information on the reproductive system of felines. Yes, cats.

Also, the woman I married is the daughter of hippies, and is big on sexual self-exploration. I knew I wouldn't get around bringing that up, and she had some very specific 'rules' she wanted me to include when I discussed this with my son. So while you may not agree with how I've addressed it, or my views on it, I find it far less restrictive than the instruction I was given:
Masturbation is having sex with yourself, therefore you're committing adultery against your future wife by having sex outside of marriage.


So here it is, the birds & the bees for a 10-year old boy, from his father. Use and distribute yourself if you find it useful - believe me, I stressed out enough about what to include/omit for all of us. That being said, I thought it turned out fantastic!


anakngtinapa at 2010-02-08 15:52 (UTC) (Link)
Bravo! That's a great video.

I never had 'the talk' with my parents though. Everything was taught in school... and some extra reading. Heh.
ehowton at 2010-02-08 23:44 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! My son found it "boring." Should I take that as a good sign?
nicetwins at 2010-02-08 16:29 (UTC) (Link)


I loved this, Eric! Please keep it up for the next... oh... 4 years until my son is 10??? Please???
ehowton at 2010-02-08 23:44 (UTC) (Link)


AWESOME! Glad you liked it. And YES! Its now up forever: http://youtube.com/ehowton ;)
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2010-02-08 16:38 (UTC) (Link)
You didn't learn anything from that Sex Ed. seminar we had in 7th grade??? What about from Jessica in 8th Grade?

The video was great but the background music was louder than your voice over and it was difficult to hear you. Other than that it was most excellent.
ehowton at 2010-02-08 23:47 (UTC) (Link)
I would've liked to have learned more from Jessica. Glad you liked it. About the music - I was very conscious of this...so maybe you've just got the subwoofer cranked too much? Or it might be your ears. Remember, you're older than me!
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2010-02-08 16:40 (UTC) (Link)
You committed adultery a lot before you got married didn't you!!!
ehowton at 2010-02-08 23:48 (UTC) (Link)
I'm committing adultery right now!
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2010-02-08 16:45 (UTC) (Link)
I just found this graphic you might want to use if you update your video.


Edited at 2010-02-08 05:30 pm (UTC)
ehowton at 2010-02-08 23:48 (UTC) (Link)
Yes, that will fit in nicely to my next video - thank you. Ass.
Lelf Treperra
ubet_cha at 2010-02-08 17:33 (UTC) (Link)
Will have to watch this tonight.

Masturbation is having sex with yourself, therefore you're committing adultery against your future wife by having sex outside of marriage.

ehowton at 2010-02-08 23:49 (UTC) (Link)
Will have to watch this tonight.
Please let me know what you think. My wife was so enamored of this one, she had me make one for our daughter!


Not when you're 12.
thesweetestnote at 2010-02-08 20:14 (UTC) (Link)
Really great video! :) Now I know what you meant about posting video to a...well, post. I give it 5 stars. If I get the chance to go back to my family I will surely use this tool for my oldest (13). I had the talk with him when he was around 11. He looked confused and obviously had not put any thought into this at that time. I figured he is a late bloomer and let the subject go but kept a vigilant eye out just in case his demeanor changed toward wanting to know things. I had to refresh the subject once again not long ago due to seeing a boner on him as he and his brother showered. I went in to hand them a bar of soap. It was just there. LOL. I recommended to my wife that he and his younger brother now shower separately. I mean, why subject his poor younger brother to this???

*SIGH* Fatherhood is a blessing. A lot of the responsibilities involved are never easy and never have a "right time" to present themselves. Having a video such as this is an invaluable tool. That and the Bible I suppose.
ehowton at 2010-02-09 00:02 (UTC) (Link)
I'm planning to make a more in-depth one in a couple of years. More to the point, so to speak.
ehowton at 2010-02-08 23:50 (UTC) (Link)
WOW! Thanks! Especially given that we were given the same instruction growing up...
kat_rowe at 2010-02-09 00:08 (UTC) (Link)
that's really, really well-done and covers all the important bases. wish my father had been that open/helpful when I was young. my version of "The Talk" (which really doesn't hold a candle to what you were told in terms of sheer wrongness) was: "Well, you're that age now so we need to talk about plumbing. Don't you DARE flush any of that female shit down my toilet!"
ehowton at 2010-02-09 00:12 (UTC) (Link)
Oh wow. I don't know if that's better or worse than my own. Better maybe because there's less guilt. Pissing off God? Yeah, that ranks up there pretty high.

Anyway, thanks for saying so! And speaking of "bases" I was thinking about including them in my next one in a couple of years ;)
photogoot at 2010-02-09 12:40 (UTC) (Link)
ehowton at 2010-02-09 12:53 (UTC) (Link)
I'm glad you think so!
Lelf Treperra
ubet_cha at 2010-02-09 15:32 (UTC) (Link)
I’m the son of civil rights hippies. Sadly all I heard was lectures on how we have to make sure everyone is treated fairly before the law and in the workplace. Sex just didn’t come up!

I watched this with Kieran this morning from my home office while K* sat in the next room feeding Alanna. Loved it and even K* chuckled from what she heard, although she didn’t get to see the Little Rascals shot.

Do you mind if I pass the link out?
Lelf Treperra
ubet_cha at 2010-02-09 15:32 (UTC) (Link)
Whoops. Just saw you said it was ok to distribute.
dreamkatch at 2010-02-11 14:30 (UTC) (Link)
I was the daughter of "sex does not exist" parents, there were no talks. I personally learned all about it from porno mags and videos that my cousin (who was younger than me) stole from her older brother. We'd sneak them into our fort and read them cover to cover. And if you read my last post, you'll see it's obvious that this way of doing things didn't work out so well!

I think 10 is a good age, it's shocking, but when I was 11, a girl in my class got pregnant, and gave birth at 12. Pretty scary stuff! It's weird though, because by that time, everyone knew all about sex and how it worked. Chances are your son probably already knows about it too. But it's good to show them that you're on to these things, and you're well aware that sex exists!
ehowton at 2010-02-11 16:00 (UTC) (Link)
WHOA! Your post looks deliciously decadent (I still vividly remember the last one you wrote like it - sadly, I chose to not read it at work) so I'll get to it as soon as I can :D
jaceman at 2010-02-13 14:10 (UTC) (Link)
You're probably not really interested in my thoughts on the video... well, then again, I'm not sure what my thoughts on the video are. My thoughts regarding the instruction you were given as a child though... 'I can't say that I disagree with it. In fact, I don't.'

You may not like it, but it's an accurate assessment. And unless that message was delivered with much more malice than you quoted in your post I'm not sure how intimidating it would be. Along with adultery "pissing off God" (as you put it in one of your comments) so do all of our other sins. So, why would telling you not to one thing be any more dramatic than telling you not to do something else? I'm afraid I don't get that.

Ok, so all of that aside... next time you use a visual aid for BOOBS, please pick a chick with a bigger set! Please and thank you.
ehowton at 2010-02-13 14:59 (UTC) (Link)
You may not like it, but it's an accurate assessment.
Perhaps, but its also a very singular assessment.

...why would telling you not to one thing be any more dramatic than telling you not to do something else?
Interpretation. Even amongst the Christian denominations many of them believe different things. Notice how that's subjective? Some Christian denominations allow gay priests, others proclaim God hates fags. Which am I to believe, were that the case and could the same rules apply to murder equals masturbation in the eyes of God?
(Deleted comment)
ehowton at 2010-02-16 19:02 (UTC) (Link)
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