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Frank the LiveJournal goat is REALLY starting to piss me off.

Posted on 2005.11.08 at 20:23
Current Mood: drinking
Current Music: Matrix Reloaded Score
Tags: , , ,
Laundry...The Final Frontier

Was invited to go drinking with Carla and Andy this evening. I really wanted to go, as I have been looking forward to meeting Andy and I wanted a drink. You see, I've been actively searching for both gin, and tonic. UNSUCCESSFULLY! Either I cannot find Seagram's Lime Twisted Gin, or I cannot find tonic water. It's been very frustrating. I finally found some tonic water the second place I stopped today (this was the first time I've made it to the hotel before 2100) and am seriously considering drinking until I can no longer stand. Today was a tough day at the office. I always feel refreshed after a good drunk the night before, so if all goes according to plan, I'll have a fantastic day tomorrow. If I finish my laundry tonight...

Worked 13 hours yesterday. I wasn't going into the office until 0900. Was sitting at my computer checking email and my calendar this morning when I saw that I had an executive refresh interview at 0830. I scalded my throat with a huge drink of coffee, dumped it, jumped in the shower, dressed, shrugged on my coat, and exploded out of the parking lot. I called work, "What time do you have?" I asked. "8:25 one of my guys said."
"I have 0825. I have a meeting with a VP at 0830. I'll make it." I was doing 65 down Lindbergh which is posted at 40. Utilizing both lanes, I hit the freeway at 70, moved into the far left lane, touched 80, moved back over (I'm on the interstate for exactly one exit) and screeched into the parking lot. Dropped my gear, handed my CSC mug to one of my guys and asked him to bring me some coffee to my meeting, and waltzed into the VP's office on time. It was difficult controlling my breathing at this point, and a bead of sweat had formed on my forehead, but the interview was a success by the time it concluded half an hour later.

And that was the best part of my day. It was all downhill from there. Still. You have to find the fun. It's in the little things. I have a FANTASTIC crew, and if it weren't for them, I'd be bored too. As it is, though we get little time to visit on a personal level, damn if it isn't fun at times.

My wife is watching her Tuesday evening shows. I called her at 2000 hours for .8 seconds to tell her that I love her. I'm kinda bored off my ass every evening at the hotel, which is another reason I wanted to go out with Carla and Andy. I feel Andy and I will hit it off almost immediately, and Carla and I NEVER get to finish a conversation because of work. Tomorrow night, I've been invited to see an employee (who has her own gospel CD I hear) perform at Harrah's. I've promised my wife one thing - that I will not gamble. ALL OTHER BETS ARE OFF! Still, as a geographic bachelor I have my responsibilities. An online friend of mine's girlfriend, broke up with him. He worked too much. We discussed this at some length. I mentioned that my wife accuses me of the same thing, putting work before family. "Well do you?" I was asked. Interesting question. I told my wife I work because of my family. To support them. But what is it that drives us men to give 110% at work? I never wanted to be a work-a-holic, and to date, I don't believe I am. My wife does, however. Where's the balance? Perhaps its the gin asking. I think it's Satan, deteriorating the family via work. Our generation is living in the end times. I would have enjoyed drinking with Andy and Carla this evening...

Oh, and I've semi-retired the Dale-II's. I needed something I could wear 13+ plus hours. So I bought these semi-gay shoes. They were over $100 - WTF? People laugh at me. I'm ok with that:


danzigfried at 2005-11-09 05:52 (UTC) (Link)
Yes, Herr Howton, your shoes are, in fact semi-gay...

Only because the Dale II's are a rare commodity, and only available for purchase on ebay in select sizes and 'funks' is it acceptable for you to dismiss the earth shoe. I forgive you for the necessary evil that was called upon in order to sway you from the comfort and frugality that the Dale II's embody. In honorarium, I shall wear my Dale II's tomorrow to work, not because there is one (two?) less of their fellow brethren on the feet of hardworking americans, but rather, that your feet will no longer experience the suppleness, relaxtion and utter joy that they provide.

In short: Your dogs will be barking.....albeit now in a higher-pitched, gay-esque, lisping timbre.

I suppose now with your new semi-gay shoes, your vocabulary is also probably in transition. Below I have listed the original word used by Howton, pre-semi-gay shoes, followed by the newly transitioned, post-semi-gay shoes, vocabulary....enjoy.

Pre-S-G-S Vocab ---------- Post S-G-S Vocab
khaki's ---------- chinos
couch ---------- sofa or loveseat
dresser ---------- boudoir
comforter ---------- cover duvet
Chuck Norris ---------- Chuck Norris-The-Hottie
rest-stop ---------- booty-call-land
hummer ---------- hummer
gay ---------- FanTAStic!
Vaseline ---------- Butter
Chloroform ---------- Best-friend
Penis ---------- Howton's Rod
anal jabber ---------- Homosexual (aka 'in play')
arse bandit (UK) ---------- Homosexual (aka 'in play')
Rimming ---------- Tossin' salad
ass ---------- Labonza
condom ---------- Life Preserver
taco bender ---------- Latino Homosexual (aka 'en jugue')
teabagging ---------- teabagging

and finally...

well-hung ---------- Texan
ehowton at 2007-06-27 21:25 (UTC) (Link)
I finally got some less-gay shoes:
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2005-11-09 15:11 (UTC) (Link)
The shoes are gay. I'll pray for you that you don't loose your vocabulary to the overt gayness of the shoes.

Why don't you take those shoes back and get a pair of Rockports? They're comfortable as hell. I wear them 12+ hours a day when I work at Macaroni Grill.
ehowton at 2007-06-27 21:25 (UTC) (Link)
I don't put my rock in just any port!
drax0r at 2005-11-09 20:12 (UTC) (Link)
I find it odd that you've got to go multiple places to find tonic water.

You are my driving hero, and as a bonus, you didn't almost kill DRP this time!

You should try to work fewer hours. Work to live, rather than vice versa.

I would think you would have seen by watching me that you don't have to give 110% at work in order to maintain and support your family. Seriously dude, you're busting your ass all day and never get to see your family, and that's admirable, but in the end you're missing your kids grow up in order to provide creature comforts. In the end, I think I'd rather have my dad around than some power rangers action figures and dora the explorer dvds.

Its quite possible to work 8-9 hour days and then just go home. If your current job doesn't allow you to do that, fuck 'em in the neck, you've got skillz and you're more than capable of finding a job that won't try to squeeze every last drop of vitality of you before discarding you in favor of the next subject.

In corporate management-friendly speak: Work-life balance is about people having a measure of control over when, where and how they work. It is achieved when an individual's right to a fulfilled life inside and outside paid work is accepted and respected as the norm, to the mutual benefit of the individual, business and society.

P.S.: I don't understand why the wife would want you to not win any money playing poker.

P.P.S.: I find it highly likely that Satan is an invention of humans who are looking for something to blame their hardships on -- yet another method of avoiding personal responsibility.

P.P.P.S.: In the $110 price range I highly recommend Doc Martens - Model 1460, 8 eye boots. Black Nappa finish. Perfect for 13+ hour days on your feet, and they won't cause other guys to hit on you when you were them.
drax0r at 2005-11-09 20:16 (UTC) (Link)

Also, Frank the livejournal goat is the fucking bomb. Stop talking shit about him or I'll tell him what you've said and he'll come to your hotel and eat your ties. All of them.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2005-11-09 22:34 (UTC) (Link)
Frank is retarded and gay...if you like him, we can only assume one of two things:

you are gay and retarded or
you have a goat fetish.

Live Journal is so fsking gay, it's not even funny. Oh yeah, btw, Xanga's giving away free pictures now too.
catttitude at 2005-11-09 22:38 (UTC) (Link)


Tony Bear, I love you! I miss seeing you. Hell, I miss Texas too.
(Anonymous) at 2005-11-10 17:17 (UTC) (Link)

Eric's Shoes

What next Eric? Will and Grace!
(Anonymous) at 2005-11-12 02:46 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Eric's Shoes

Ok so E you are a work-a-holic. You don't see it that way because you love/live what you do, but you are. And I don't understand why you need comfortable shoes, don't you sit on your ass all day any way? L

And yes Texans are well-hung.
(Anonymous) at 2005-11-12 04:02 (UTC) (Link)


I just heard something that made me think of you. "The journey is more important than the destination." Your job is to decide who you want to take with you and how comfortable you want to make the ride.
ps-dave says hi

pss-Comfort isn't always about how soft the seats are.
ehowton at 2005-11-18 13:12 (UTC) (Link)

Re: life

Anyway, I now have it on good authority that NO self-respecting gay man would be caught dead in those shoes. So there you have it!
snapper521 at 2006-12-16 01:59 (UTC) (Link)
The shoe's are gay... but will be less gay if you wear longish trousers with them to cover the heels up a bit. :-)

I think I missed why your currently not at home or whatever...

And I tend to agree with your wife. I think your a work-a-holic. :-)

ehowton at 2006-12-16 03:53 (UTC) (Link)
Well reading the comments to this entry sure brought back some memories. I really like those shoes now - they're very comfortable!

I had sold my house and relocated to Saint Louis for a new job and my wife and I were geographically separated for six months. Yeah, sux.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2007-02-05 21:59 (UTC) (Link)

To whom were you referring?

An online friend of mine's girlfriend, broke up with him. He worked too much. We discussed this at some length. I mentioned that my wife accuses me of the same thing, putting work before family. "Well do you?" I was asked. Interesting question.
ehowton at 2007-02-05 22:12 (UTC) (Link)

Re: To whom were you referring?

Possibly stuf123. I don't recall.
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