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Eric

Perfect Fiction

Posted on 2010.06.28 at 08:00
Current Location: 75409
Current Music: Horner - The Karate Kid
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Felt completely isolated amidst my very active family this weekend while I drank all the wine in the house.

Lonely. Mellow. Surreal.
I lock myself in my office after yet another romanticized dream about Korea. I was back on base, but it was more a campus and peach blossoms were drifting down from the sky on a perfect spring day. We'd arrived on a bus full of new arrivals and drax0r and I had gotten separated and I needed to find him because I'd been there before and he hadn't. I saw Phancy Nam from work, eating lunch in an outdoor cafe which was shaped like football bleachers. She smiled and waved, her face lit up from the morning sun. I was going to write my wife and tell her to keep my paychecks, that all I needed was a good bike, then I was downtown on that bike, still looking for drax0r. It was the downtown Korea from my dream about "Steve." Very Asian, very bustling. I couldn't wait to get back to base which was like those perfect shots of colleges where perfect couples and perfect people stand around in perfectly random patterns dressed perfectly while chatting enjoyably with perfect expressions on their faces which is nothing like real campuses. Why does my subconscious do this to me? Why does it glamorize my time there?
I look up people with similar interests to my own on livejournal but they're not serious about the craft - to them its a passing fancy - something they blogged about once, four years ago.

I use the new LiveJournal text search but just like Google, it only returns my own entries. Is there not another out there? Am I truly all alone?

The more I dilute myself and broaden my search, the more hits start returning. Only...they're not real.

Fanfic. All returns which are not my own are works of fiction.

I can only draw one conclusion.

I live your fiction.

I am your fiction.

The longer I live, the more divorced from the mundanity of this world I become and you people romaticize *me* like a god from a Neil Gaiman book. The characters in your fanfic lack depth - while its true that I live the exciting life you write about, I also have flaws - and get sullen without the intimate interaction of others. Where's that in your fic?

Then again everyone could've just moved off to Facebook, I dunno.

Comments:


Misha
dawaioser at 2010-06-28 13:11 (UTC) (Link)
I read your thoughts/writings and sometimes I simply do not know how to respond, but as always I appreciate and enjoy the beauty you create.
ehowton
ehowton at 2010-06-28 14:39 (UTC) (Link)
Well thank you, but OMG I didn't mean for this post to be all emo! I wasn't complaining about comments (which surprisingly remain) but more the transitory discards living life demands. Too cerebral? Prolly. It was indeed an interesting weekend, and now I'm all fired up because of it.

Serious weekend recharge. There's nothing I can't accomplish this week!
Lelf Treperra
ubet_cha at 2010-06-28 14:27 (UTC) (Link)

Summer. It turns me upside down. Swing & a miss.



While I like the idea of documenting what’s going on first with gaining the feedback of others a nice bonus, FB & Twitter seems to have drawn off most of the people here who primarily want a social medium.

I imagine since people only have a limited amount of time they pursue what they perceive to be the websites the greatest reward for what they want. Something that takes time to read and write on a regular may not appeal as much as postcard like notes. The site is a shadow of what it once was.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t a few good writers out and about. It just means they’re much harder to find on LJ then they used to be.

Why does it glamorize my time there?

You were younger and the experiences were new.
ehowton
ehowton at 2010-06-28 14:45 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Summer. It turns me upside down. Swing & a miss.

You dole out advice from an empirical viewpoint - I love it! And thank you, all my questions answered :D
irulan_amy at 2010-06-28 19:16 (UTC) (Link)
Despite the waning crowd here, an arseload of fanfic seems to remain without diminishing. It always kind of surprises me.

I've used the random LJ feature once in a while, but not really the search option. I think I've "met" all the folks on my friends list from communities or friends of friends.
ehowton
ehowton at 2010-06-28 19:49 (UTC) (Link)
I've met some fantastic peeps through the Random link. Of course you have to sift through a lot of porn, a lot of Russians, and a lot of Russian porn - but sometimes the diamond is truly in the rough!
Samantha
thesweetestnote at 2010-06-28 19:39 (UTC) (Link)
I'm not quite sure how to comment. You threw me a curve here.

I think it's awesome you found some alone time. You truly deserve it IMHO.

I think I should begin to write about my dreams. I never have, except for the reoccurring one I have about going to heaven and they apologize to me for the HUGE mix-up. Then again...I don't think I have wrote about that... :\

I certainly know how you feel about finding those with similar interests. For me it has been finding those locally. The two I did find have disappeared.

I am a HUGE fan of yours. Which by default puts you in certain category with others that I am a fan of. There is a certain mystic and I like that. You inspire thought. I like to think. You challenge thought. I like a good challenge. In a very non-fiction sort of way. But I love the fiction of that....make sense?

I feel like I may have missed the point here. But there it is.
ehowton
ehowton at 2010-06-28 20:16 (UTC) (Link)
I'm not quite sure how to comment.
I get that a lot.

You threw me a curve here.
I really don't see how.

I think it's awesome you found some alone time.
I really didn't get any at all. I just steeled myself in my office and drank wine. Disconnected my head, so to speak.

I think I should begin to write about my dreams.
Its one of my favorite things to do. Write my own, and read other's. My dream tag is both disturbing, and fascinating. What I wasn't expecting was trend analysis. I've found recurring themes since I've started recording them.

...the reoccurring one I have about going to heaven and they apologize to me for the HUGE mix-up.
Oh my! What is it you feel? Delight? Crushing defeat? Resignation? Curious!

I certainly know how you feel about finding those with similar interests.
We all, I think, from time to time need to be with those like-minded.

For me it has been finding those locally.
To some success as well if I recall. As for myself, I'm perfectly happy with online - people exhaust me, and I enjoy the confines of my own home.

The two I did find have disappeared.
Oh. Oops.

I am a HUGE fan of yours.
That's very sweet of you to say.

There is a certain mystic and I like that.
Ha! I'm a completely open book. Sometimes I think I ought to leave a little something for the imagination, but I always seem to just lay it out there.

You inspire thought. I like to think. You challenge thought.
Thank you. Mostly I think I'm just really opinionated, or its inverse. Both can be interesting :P

....make sense?
Not really.

I feel like I may have missed the point here. But there it is.
If you like, we can consider this the "first draft?" Hint: Its why I blog so much - always trying to get my point across more succinctly!

Edited at 2010-06-28 08:16 pm (UTC)
Melancthe the Woe, So-Called
melancthe at 2010-06-28 20:30 (UTC) (Link)
I drank all the wine in the house.

Are you me in disguise?
ehowton
ehowton at 2010-06-28 20:48 (UTC) (Link)
Women want you and men want to be you. Or the other way around. Yes.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2010-06-28 22:16 (UTC) (Link)
Why so EMO???
Samantha
thesweetestnote at 2010-06-28 22:22 (UTC) (Link)
His Emo avatar is in order! no?
(Deleted comment)
ehowton
ehowton at 2010-06-29 01:59 (UTC) (Link)
Facebook, I fear is the next MySpace. When THE NEXT BIG THINGym comes along, all those current Facebooker's will laugh at how silly Facebook was as they jump ship once again.

*sigh*
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2010-06-30 16:51 (UTC) (Link)
I have no clue where you were going with this post in your mind. You said,

I look up people with similar interests to my own on livejournal but they're not serious about the craft - to them its a passing fancy - something they blogged about once, four years ago.

But you never said which craft you're talking about. I presume from the context you meant writing about dreams. I would appreciate your taking a second go at trying to express yourself more clearly on this point.

Edited at 2010-06-30 04:51 pm (UTC)
ehowton
ehowton at 2010-06-30 17:20 (UTC) (Link)

ALL OF THEM

http://ehowton.livejournal.com/profile --> Interests.

Its the whole problem with "key word" searches :(
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