My God is a brilliant statistician and the greatest anthropologist who ever existed
His vast accumulation of data proves His word has been perverted over a millena of word-of-mouth
It would therefore be foolish for us to accept Him on faith alone.
My God is a masterful philosopher who created sentience and cognition
His immeasurable depth of knowledge has proven mankind is incapable of understanding His will
Seek therefore if you must in respectful silence; thou shalt not proselytize.
My God is omnipotent - were he to speak to me he wouldn't hide his visage in a cheese sandwich
He has the magnificent self-given ability to present Himself to me unequivocally
And not lay upon me the burden to prove his existence to you based on my own experience.
My God is a benevolent God who frowns upon those who preach eternal damnation
His ages of ageless time-passing mock our feeble attempts to conceptualize His astronomic existence
His sadness of our hate and ignorance is eclipsed only by those who mask self-righteousness with humility.
My God puts the souls of angels in kittens and in puppies, tooMy God has filled the sky with a symphony of color and sound and done everything in His power to arm me with the tools I need to be happy and succeed and has turned me loose in this world with His protectors by my side.
They watch over us, these keepers of universal balance
Our comforters, at the ready - day and night
Everything else is up to me.