No good deed goes unpunished. Or so I've been told. I don't really buy into that, though it is occasionally fitting. I laugh aloud at others who have drama in their life because frankly, I have none.
At least that was the case prior to my weekend Halloween party. In an oh-so roundabout way, it made it to my ears that I was responsible for a marriage breaking up because...I kissed another man's wife. The husband reportedly witnessed it himself!
I'll be the first to admit that sounds EXACTLY like something I would do - there goes my "I could never do something like that" defense :/ One of the hazards of being a shameless flirt. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Several months ago, after one of our Sandlot softball games, we cracked a box of wine and several couples showed up. It was a nice night so we sat outside. At some point, one of the ladies stood up, said her goodbyes, and started walking home. My wife jumped my ass, "You go walk her home!" I did as I was told.
Unbeknowst to me at the time...I was followed!
Mind you, this was several months back, but the way the story was told to me is that her husband had trailed us. I remember him saying something like, "I needed more ice" or something when I saw him. Then he went back to my house and apparently told me wife, "You husband was kissing my wife in the garage."
At which point she laughed uproariously. SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!
Now I don't know much, but I do know this: I did not kiss that woman. I know this because I know myself pretty well, and had I, I would've announced it to my wife immediately upon my return. Hell, I would've said something to the entire group, actually, "Hey everyone, I was making out with her in the garage!" But I said nothing because nothing had transpired.
She moved out the next day.
She's back now, and as several months have passed I haven't thought twice about anything - why would I? But now that this rumor is in the mouths and ears of my neighbors, I'm dumbstruck of how to handle it. My immediate response to my wife was, "It will do no good confronting someone like that, because he's going to believe what he's going to believe and nothing I can say will change it." In fact, I was pretty sure it was all a mistake until I saw he...defriended me on Facebook??? Besides, blaming a breakup on a stranger's single kiss seems an awfully weak defense - even if I am a great kisser ;) Because it doesn't paint the accuser in a good light - and no one wants to tell stories in which they appear at fault, so I'm pretty sure I didn't hear "The Whole Story." I need to hear it from him. I may have simply been a pawn in a larger sea of deceit.
Lastly, my wife is now concerned he may attempt to harm our children. Retribution and all that. So I'm pretty sure I have to address this with him, despite what he thought he saw.
I hear counter-accusations are awfully effective (and there's no doubt in my mind I'd be good at it), but that's really not my style, and not the end-game I'm looking for. Is this something I can even fix?
What are your thoughts?