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How to Get a Job in Texas

Posted on 2010.11.03 at 12:44
Current Location: 75070

  1. Sign up for Texas Workforce Commission (TWC) our version of the Unemployment Insurance Office. Navigate their busted-assed web page to opt-in and enroll. If you can. Godspeed and good luck, you're going to need it.

  2. To the very L E T T E R follow all job-search criteria and rules (this is repeated a lot, so it must be important) - A minimum amount of employment needs to be searched via the TWC busted-assed engine, which can't seem to string any two search terms together. This is a REQUIREMENT.

  3. Put your resume on MONSTER.COM because they are MAGNIFICENT at allowing every single non-related WORK-FROM-HOME bullshit come as a legitimate offer. Looking to lick envelopes at home or take online surveys for cash? MONSTER.COM is a fucking goldmine!

  4. Be prepared to honestly consider MONSTER.COM's brick & mortar business offers...which are over six hundred miles away!!!!!

  5. Call TWC when they send you your first and last check (for $200) 18-months later to ask them why.

  6. Wait an additional 18-months for them to get back to you.

  7. Attend a mandatory half-day orientation to revoke any future payments because you haven't been active in 18-months and your spouse makes too much money.


Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2010-11-03 18:00 (UTC) (Link)
Sounds like someone needs to move to Alabama. Our economy is growing and will continue to grow given the fact we just flipped the entire State legislature. Also, we've been named numerous times as being the place to be to ride out the economy.
ehowton at 2010-11-03 18:04 (UTC) (Link)
Good point. I'll take unemployment over living in Alabama. And here I am the one always preaching about the importance of perspective!
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2010-11-03 18:06 (UTC) (Link)
If you're going to live in misery, you're not allowed to complain about it. If you want to be a dead beat that sits on your ass all day, then fuck you. If, however, you want to be a productive member of society, there's always work to be done so long as you're willing to put your shoulder to the wheel.
ehowton at 2010-11-03 18:10 (UTC) (Link)
Everything comes with a price. Living in Alabama is just too high a one to pay :P
thesweetestnote at 2010-11-03 18:48 (UTC) (Link)
Welcome to my Hell :/ and you nailed the whole shitty experience down to a t.
ehowton at 2010-11-03 19:04 (UTC) (Link)
So...you can have all the jobs my wife is flagged for that are in El Paso if she can have all the ones you get that are in Dallas :P

thesweetestnote at 2010-11-04 19:05 (UTC) (Link)
I would... if I were using them to get a job. I am still trying to figure out the purpose of the case workers jobs.

ME: I have not been able to find work using the site.

TWC: Why not?

ME: I'd kinda like for you to tell me that. It is the reason I am here. Plus, you being a person of the commission and all...

TWC: Oh! It's easy.. I'll show you...let me access your account...Hummm........hummm.....hummm..... hummmmmmmmmmmmm.... There is nothing in your line of work anywhere...

ME: Yes.. I believe I made you aware of that before we began...

TWC: Come back next week????

catttitude at 2010-11-03 19:02 (UTC) (Link)
You think you are frustrated. I am the one that tried for three months to do everything they wanted. Now I have to start all over again. Yeeeeeek.......
ehowton at 2010-11-03 19:06 (UTC) (Link)
I'd feel somewhat placated if they could tell me why. But they don't know! My stock reply to that is, "What will you be doing differently this time around to ensure it doesn't happen again?"

Not that I get...you know, and answer to that or anything.
Cat Who Likes OpenBSD
bsdcat at 2010-11-03 20:23 (UTC) (Link)
Ugh. Does this mean you're now unemployed?
ehowton at 2010-11-03 21:42 (UTC) (Link)
Thankfully no! But given the irrational headcutting at work it could be only a matter of time...
(Deleted comment)
ehowton at 2010-11-03 21:43 (UTC) (Link)
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2010-11-04 02:09 (UTC) (Link)
I have to say that does not mirror my experience with the TWC over the last 3 years.

Although I did also find them to be incompetent. I only had to submit 5 jobs I applied for a week and no proof that I had actually applied for them. I didn't have to use their job search engine either. It is a piece of shit. The orientation was only 1 hour. And they issued payments via a Chase debit card which you could use as a debit card or get cash at a Chase bank. My spouses income NEVER EVER came into play nor should it have to get unemployment insurance in the state of Texas. If they were asking about your income instead of hers someone needs to be reported because your spouses income has no relevance to a person getting unemployment insurance in the state of Texas. It goes by how much the person applying has earned in the last few years not their spouses.
catttitude at 2010-11-04 11:51 (UTC) (Link)
The income comes into play with something called WIA (workforce Investment Act) and full time education.
I too did all that job stuff on the forms they gave us and after 18 months I got $200.00 after paying in since I was 15,I think it should be more and I needed it over a year ago. I wish I knew how to work the system.
I just gave up.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2010-11-05 02:02 (UTC) (Link)
Here are some jobs for Collin County. I find one of those interesting for me.

catttitude at 2010-11-06 12:48 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you friend, I will check it out.
thesweetestnote at 2010-11-04 18:56 (UTC) (Link)
It is a piece of shit

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