ehowton (ehowton) wrote,
ehowton
ehowton

How to Get a Job in Texas


  1. Sign up for Texas Workforce Commission (TWC) our version of the Unemployment Insurance Office. Navigate their busted-assed web page to opt-in and enroll. If you can. Godspeed and good luck, you're going to need it.

  2. To the very L E T T E R follow all job-search criteria and rules (this is repeated a lot, so it must be important) - A minimum amount of employment needs to be searched via the TWC busted-assed engine, which can't seem to string any two search terms together. This is a REQUIREMENT.

  3. Put your resume on MONSTER.COM because they are MAGNIFICENT at allowing every single non-related WORK-FROM-HOME bullshit come as a legitimate offer. Looking to lick envelopes at home or take online surveys for cash? MONSTER.COM is a fucking goldmine!

  4. Be prepared to honestly consider MONSTER.COM's brick & mortar business offers...which are over six hundred miles away!!!!!

  5. Call TWC when they send you your first and last check (for $200) 18-months later to ask them why.

  6. Wait an additional 18-months for them to get back to you.

  7. Attend a mandatory half-day orientation to revoke any future payments because you haven't been active in 18-months and your spouse makes too much money.

Subscribe

  • Living Life

    Last night I dreamed I was experiencing the last stages of my life chapter by chapter and surprised by how stark that which became important to me…

  • Mr. Dowg and Feral Hog Dogs

    Dreamed Mr. Narodowg and I were taking a leisurely stroll down a wooded path, just talking of this and that and enjoying each other's company -…

  • Dirt Bike Fever

    It has been decades since I rode a motorcycle. Maybe 30 years? Anyway last night I dreamed I was hitting these sweet jumps on a dirt bike; first…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 17 comments

  • Living Life

    Last night I dreamed I was experiencing the last stages of my life chapter by chapter and surprised by how stark that which became important to me…

  • Mr. Dowg and Feral Hog Dogs

    Dreamed Mr. Narodowg and I were taking a leisurely stroll down a wooded path, just talking of this and that and enjoying each other's company -…

  • Dirt Bike Fever

    It has been decades since I rode a motorcycle. Maybe 30 years? Anyway last night I dreamed I was hitting these sweet jumps on a dirt bike; first…