ehowton (ehowton) wrote,
ehowton
ehowton

How to Get a Job in Texas


  1. Sign up for Texas Workforce Commission (TWC) our version of the Unemployment Insurance Office. Navigate their busted-assed web page to opt-in and enroll. If you can. Godspeed and good luck, you're going to need it.

  2. To the very L E T T E R follow all job-search criteria and rules (this is repeated a lot, so it must be important) - A minimum amount of employment needs to be searched via the TWC busted-assed engine, which can't seem to string any two search terms together. This is a REQUIREMENT.

  3. Put your resume on MONSTER.COM because they are MAGNIFICENT at allowing every single non-related WORK-FROM-HOME bullshit come as a legitimate offer. Looking to lick envelopes at home or take online surveys for cash? MONSTER.COM is a fucking goldmine!

  4. Be prepared to honestly consider MONSTER.COM's brick & mortar business offers...which are over six hundred miles away!!!!!

  5. Call TWC when they send you your first and last check (for $200) 18-months later to ask them why.

  6. Wait an additional 18-months for them to get back to you.

  7. Attend a mandatory half-day orientation to revoke any future payments because you haven't been active in 18-months and your spouse makes too much money.

Subscribe

  • A Plague For All Seasons

    Vainly valuing endless inefficacious toil seeds seemingly insatiable ennui Lifetimes of vague frustrations passed down from generation to generation…

  • NVMe on ESXi

    I am running ESXi 6.7u3 on an old PowerEdge R610 and recently purchased a no-name NVMe m.2 drive and the StarTech.com M2 PCIe SSD Adapter from…

  • Twin Lens Reflex

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 17 comments

  • A Plague For All Seasons

    Vainly valuing endless inefficacious toil seeds seemingly insatiable ennui Lifetimes of vague frustrations passed down from generation to generation…

  • NVMe on ESXi

    I am running ESXi 6.7u3 on an old PowerEdge R610 and recently purchased a no-name NVMe m.2 drive and the StarTech.com M2 PCIe SSD Adapter from…

  • Twin Lens Reflex