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Buddy Christ

His Terrible Swift Sword

Posted on 2011.05.21 at 10:00
Current Location: 75409
Current Music: Wuxia Warriors (Working Title)

Why would anyone - and I don't care who you are or what you believe - presume that the Almighty would subject himself to the...Gregorian calendar?

So unless that's your thing...don't go getting yourself raptured today. Me? I'm going to swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh to fulfill the primary definition of the word, and my body shall shudder along the with sounding of the 7th trump.

w0rd.

Comments:


Michelle1963
michelle1963 at 2011-05-21 18:34 (UTC) (Link)
People create God in their own image. Therefore, God is small, petty, and certainly adheres to the Gregorian calendar!

Muaahahaha!
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-05-21 19:49 (UTC) (Link)
Very true. And my God is freaking awesome!
Michelle1963
michelle1963 at 2011-05-22 00:48 (UTC) (Link)
Indeed! But then you know what I think about your brain, clone. :-)
kat_rowe
kat_rowe at 2011-05-24 01:55 (UTC) (Link)
omg, reading that made me spray lemonade all over my monitor. that's hysterical...
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2011-05-21 19:31 (UTC) (Link)
Well they know it's the of the Rapture because Noah knew!!!

You mean to tell me you haven't sold all your belongings and are waiting out in a field for the Rapture???
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-05-21 19:45 (UTC) (Link)
I raptured myself earlier this morning.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2011-05-21 19:54 (UTC) (Link)
So that's a no then???
catttitude
catttitude at 2011-05-23 01:11 (UTC) (Link)
I plan to sale all our belongings alright, we just have so much junk.
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-05-23 01:23 (UTC) (Link)
Don't forget to shave your head.
catttitude
catttitude at 2011-05-23 01:44 (UTC) (Link)
w00t w00t.....
catttitude
catttitude at 2011-05-23 01:12 (UTC) (Link)
Does the rapture mean it will start now or be the end now?
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-05-23 01:22 (UTC) (Link)
This particular brand of crazy is called "Pre-Tribulation" Rapture. That is to say, the beginning of the end. Pre-Tribbers believe (unlike the Mid-Tribbers and Post-Tribbers) that God will spare them from the Apocalypse by taking them before all the heavy shit hits.

Since absolutely none of this is *actually* outlined in the bible, it makes for an incalculably good time watching the Pre, Mids & Posts argue about who is right, and why.
catttitude
catttitude at 2011-05-23 01:45 (UTC) (Link)
I know nothing.....
kat_rowe
kat_rowe at 2011-05-24 01:55 (UTC) (Link)
i did not get Raptured. guess it's back to hoping that level 1 of Hell (virtuous pagans) isn't overbooked when I arrive...
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-05-24 02:21 (UTC) (Link)
Alternately, you could your author your own FAN!FIC version of the "seven levels" of "Hell" where the lowest level is evangelicals and work your way up from there :P
kat_rowe
kat_rowe at 2011-05-24 04:51 (UTC) (Link)
nah. Dante's level 1 is where all the cool parties are ;)
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