ehowton (ehowton) wrote,

Emotional Revolution

I've been such an emotional mess this last week, building up from the week before that and the week before that. The reason this is significant is that I AM NEVER AN EMOTIONAL MESS. I am not an emotionally expressive person. More specifically, while I experience emotions just like anyone else, I usually anticipate them, collate them, segregate and compartmentalize them for later analysis. And excepting my wife, who can often detect my true feelings by looking through my eyes, I am the epitome of control in any given situation.

But not lately. Not by a longshot.

For someone as logical as myself, this emotional unhingement has me quite distressed, and is exacerbated in the worst way possible by causing me additional emotional stress. To make matters worse, I'm apparently blathering senselessly about the causes behind my new-found emotional expression and attributing everything to unrelated stressors - which is causing my housemates undeserved panic atop what they're already having to deal with. Furthermore, in the last twist of incomprehensibly unfair, knowing that I'm causing all of making me worse.

The cycle feeds itself.

During one of our discussions over my aberrant behavior, it dawned on me that this might be my version of a mid-life crisis. After a lifetime of being a living definition of "cooler heads" with my calm, logical exterior - this. Of all things to happen to me, this.

Where's my Porsche and hot 20-something?

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