?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Sword

Emotional Revolution

Posted on 2011.08.17 at 13:00
Current Location: 67114

I've been such an emotional mess this last week, building up from the week before that and the week before that. The reason this is significant is that I AM NEVER AN EMOTIONAL MESS. I am not an emotionally expressive person. More specifically, while I experience emotions just like anyone else, I usually anticipate them, collate them, segregate and compartmentalize them for later analysis. And excepting my wife, who can often detect my true feelings by looking through my eyes, I am the epitome of control in any given situation.

But not lately. Not by a longshot.

For someone as logical as myself, this emotional unhingement has me quite distressed, and is exacerbated in the worst way possible by causing me additional emotional stress. To make matters worse, I'm apparently blathering senselessly about the causes behind my new-found emotional expression and attributing everything to unrelated stressors - which is causing my housemates undeserved panic atop what they're already having to deal with. Furthermore, in the last twist of incomprehensibly unfair, knowing that I'm causing all of this...is making me worse.

The cycle feeds itself.

During one of our discussions over my aberrant behavior, it dawned on me that this might be my version of a mid-life crisis. After a lifetime of being a living definition of "cooler heads" with my calm, logical exterior - this. Of all things to happen to me, this.

Where's my Porsche and hot 20-something?

Comments:


kat_rowe
kat_rowe at 2011-08-17 18:10 (UTC) (Link)
it's probably less a midlife crisis than an understandable reaction to a period of huge upheaval. in time, this too shall pass and you'll regain your equilibrium

besides, what do you need with more hot babes in your life? ;p
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-08-17 18:18 (UTC) (Link)
Excellent points, all of them, and true to heart. I can haz Porsche though?
kat_rowe
kat_rowe at 2011-08-17 18:54 (UTC) (Link)
you'll have to talk to your wife, clone, and banker about that *pets you*
Lelf Treperra
ubet_cha at 2011-08-17 21:05 (UTC) (Link)
From what I have seen mid-life crisis never ends well.

I'm doing my best to avoid one as long as I can.

But if you want to rebuild a 69 camero its ok wih me!
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-08-17 21:26 (UTC) (Link)
Were it a logic attack, surely I would've been the victor. But no, it hits me where it does the most damage.

STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!

And hrm, I did leave a 68 Coronet 440 in Texas...much less expensive than a Porsche (I checked out the Boxsters on Porsche.com today just in case...)
Joshua Gizelt
swashbuckler332 at 2011-08-18 03:21 (UTC) (Link)
Ohm.

Ohm.

Ohm.

Ohm.

Ohm.

Ohm.

Ohm.

Ohm.

That's 8 ohms.
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-08-18 12:57 (UTC) (Link)
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
Misha
dawaioser at 2011-08-19 02:42 (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, love that part of the movie...so true.

Hang in there.
Sh*t storms don't usually last long.
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-08-19 03:22 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. It felt like an eternity.
Michelle1963
michelle1963 at 2011-08-18 14:51 (UTC) (Link)
For INTJs a lack of emotional control is one of the most frightening things we can endure. We're used to being the emotional rock for everyone else because we have ours so firmly in hand. So it's a triple-whammy when we have emotions that we can't process and control ~ the uncontrolled emotions themselves and the fact that we feel that we're not only not fulfilling our normal role in life; we're causing turmoil.

Take my word for it, you'll emerge stronger and with a better understanding of yourself than you had before.

Know that I truly understand your hell.
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-08-18 16:46 (UTC) (Link)
I may be a god.
Michelle1963
michelle1963 at 2011-08-18 17:14 (UTC) (Link)
Or at least a demi-god. :-)
Codekitten
codekitten at 2011-08-19 15:24 (UTC) (Link)
see this is when it's good to be a girl...i can just blame everything on my period. "i feel so crazy and out of control. oh, that time of the month is coming".

but seriously, feeling emotionally out of control wigs me the hell out too. i try to avoid it as much as possible. i have not come up with any helpful tips though. maybe more wine?
ehowton
ehowton at 2011-08-19 15:30 (UTC) (Link)
I purchase wine by the box. It was, but a distraction. Not a true ally in my time of crisis. The real enemy turned out to be...me.
Codekitten
codekitten at 2011-08-19 15:35 (UTC) (Link)
yeah, distraction is only good for a little while...then it works against you.
Previous Entry  Next Entry