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Dalai Lama

Shit ehowton Would Say

Posted on 2011.12.22 at 00:25
Current Location: 67114

My wife says I have no common sense. For the longest time I agreed with her. I was more the absent-minded professor brilliantly solving problems but unable to assess situations in which people were involved. And just as most of us thought everyone around us had the same skill-set we did growing up, that belief made it even more confusing when people were unable to perform what we considered simple tasks. Guess what? I've got plenty of common sense. For things which are common to me. Now when you're thinking on metavalues day in and day out, you're less concerned that your socks may not match than most. I still can't read people, but I really don't have to. Besides, if I were as good as my wife is at it, for what would I rely upon her? We don't have to be great at everything. We can absolutely rely on others strengths. Its the only part of diversity I truly appreciate - not having to be perfect at everything!

I got a text a couple of weeks ago from celtmanx. He asked if I'd ever read The Portrait of Dorian Gray. I have not. "It reads like your posts," he tells me.

Earlier this week, my wife was on the sofa rolling her eyes, "This sounds like some shit you would say - “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”"

"Goddamn right!" I replied. "Who said that?"

The answer?



Chuque Berry
chuque at 2011-12-22 14:52 (UTC) (Link)

I was inspired

last monster in box
thinking of Eric now sad
ehowton at 2011-12-22 15:51 (UTC) (Link)

Re: I was inspired

What an touching haiku! In the words of The Offspring, "You gotta keep it refrigerated."
jobu121 at 2011-12-22 15:14 (UTC) (Link)
I always had a saying: "Common Sense Commonly lacks in Common People; therefore, Common Sense is mistaken as Genius!"

Then I started to place this at the bottom of my emails. I got so much flak as people would say things like, "Are you calling me stupid or an idiot?" I would not respond, let them figure it out. HAHAHAHAHA
ehowton at 2011-12-22 15:54 (UTC) (Link)
I know *exactly* what you mean. You would not believe how many times I've heard in reply, "How dare you call me ignorant! I simply have no knowledge of that subject!" But you get bonus points for using it as a signature!
michelle1963 at 2011-12-22 19:22 (UTC) (Link)

Interesting bit of psychology here. When I read your quote, it never occurred to me that it would apply to me. So what I have to wonder about is the mind-set of those who would read it and automatically assume you're insulting them? Low self-esteem? A self-identity wrapped up in being one of the common people? What?

Either that or I am the weird one.... If that's the case, that's how I prefer it. ;-)
michelle1963 at 2011-12-22 18:33 (UTC) (Link)
Buddha, the empiricist, must have been INTJ. Self-actualized goes without saying.
ehowton at 2011-12-22 18:53 (UTC) (Link)
Imagine how the world may have turned out if he'd remained a philosophy instead of becoming a religion? Better yet - imagine Jesus Christ saying the exact same thing instead of the opposite. WHAT A DIFFERENT WOULD WE WOULD BE LIVING IN!

John 12:48:He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day. If I say shit that doesn't make any sense, don't fucking do it, moron.
michelle1963 at 2011-12-22 19:13 (UTC) (Link)
The Book of Eric!
michelle1963 at 2011-12-23 15:52 (UTC) (Link)
Funny thing ~ BEFORE reading this today, I wrote a post about turn indicators. A post about how so many don't seem to know how to use them or use them correctly.
michelle1963 at 2011-12-22 19:06 (UTC) (Link)
just as most of us thought everyone around us had the same skill-set we did growing up

A comment on reading people ~

When I was a kid, I relied on logic to determine my behavior (just as I do now), and as we are wont to do when we are young, assumed all the other kids did too. So when another child was mean or hateful, I thought they'd thought it out and had chosen to behave as they did. I had no idea they were just feeling shitty and sharing the magic (thank-you very much). My behavior was thought out and intentional ~ and if I'd hurt somebody thusly, it would have been because I meant to do that.

Imagine my amazement when I found out that a lot of people just fly off the handle and don't mean anything by it. Really? Okay, so I learned. There are many reasons for observable behavior, and in fact very few people actually do things for the same reasons I do things.

This same lesson applies in reading people. You've got to be able to step outside yourself and look at all the reasons for the emotion; not just those reasons that pertain to why you yourself might feel that way. It's all well and good to read the raw emotion and identify it, but without the context, which may be outside of your normal purview, you're only getting a partial picture.

And then there are the nuances in emotions. Excitement can appear as anger or anxiety; concentration can appear as withdrawal or depression; shyness can appear as aloofness; etc. The only way to be able tease out these nuances is to be able to put the feeling together with all the possible reasons for why.
ehowton at 2011-12-22 19:18 (UTC) (Link)
I am not myself immune to misunderstandings of behavior just like everyone else from time to time - and you've touched on one of mine here:


I really have a difficult time placing many of your examples out of the "not happy" bucket which I fear makes me look as if I'm just as inflexibly black and white as those I accuse of being inflexibly black and white. I'm really not! Its just that of all the infinite shades of gray in between, if you're not shooting for "happy" as an end game, what's the point? What else is there?
michelle1963 at 2011-12-22 19:41 (UTC) (Link)
You mean some people aren't aiming for happiness? I agree, what's the point otherwise?

Sure some people have an easier time than others in achieving happiness, joy, contentment, satisfaction (all nuanced emotions of feeling good), but certainly no one strives for misery?
codekitten at 2011-12-24 02:44 (UTC) (Link)
We don't have to be great at everything. We can absolutely rely on others strengths.

yeah, i can't be great at everything so i focus on the things i tend to be good at. j* focuses on the things he's good at. it works out and to be honest is a relief to let go sometimes.
ehowton at 2011-12-24 03:24 (UTC) (Link)
That's a great plan!!
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