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Snowflakes falling on...something poetically depressing

Posted on 2006.04.28 at 14:32
Current Music: Back to Future I, II & III Scores
Tags: ,
Concerning the poem below, no, I do not believe that we, as people, cannot overcome external influences. What I believe is that because it's difficult, most people choose not to.

When I was an emotional teenage, my mother said to me, "You're wearing your heart on your sleeve. You have to fake it until you make it." I was horrified at that comment! FAKE being a good mood? That was akin to living a lie - something I vowed never to do. If I wanted to be miserable then so be it.

Experience, on the other hand, has proven otherwise. Have you ever been depressed? Sullen? You begin to get comfortable with it, wearing it around you. You actually, in some twisted way prefer it. It's easy. Warm. Life seems to have less complications. Oh, you're not exactly happy - but hey, it's working, so why mess with it, right?

"Fake it until you make it," isn't about pretending to be someone your not any more than getting comfortable in your bad mood/depressive self is your true self actually revealing itself. I've experimented with this over the years, and when I 'wake up on the wrong side of the bed,' have a 'bad hair day,' whatever - and propagate that mood throughout my day, I find that I'm generally grouchy, unpleasant, and irritable. Furthermore, I mutter things like, "Why me?" Or "Figures." And NOTHING EVER TURNS OUT LIKE I WANT IT TO.

But if I force myself to smile and be pleasant (mind you, I'm not in the mood) then not only are all my expectations exceeded, but in a short period of time, I really am in a better mood, no matter what external influences are exerting pressure on me! You see, it's not about wearing a 'happy face' masking what you really feel inside, it's more a technique used to pull yourself out of a slump that (when experienced enough) you know will go absolutely nowhere and plop you smack dab in the middle of misery.

You know that feeling that comes along only every once in a while when you're just in a fantastic mood? Imagine holding on to that for weeks, months, even years. I am a firm believer in - because I experience it every single day - getting whatever you want, whenever you want it, every single day, simply by working hard and fighting daily those forces which try to bring you down.

Of course I could have built this entire philosophy on something my mother said simply to be flippant and dismissive. Who knows!

Comments:


ximo
ximo at 2006-04-29 02:14 (UTC) (Link)
I've been doing that on a regular basis since i was in my teens. It started out when i was diagnosed with both depression and manic depression (before it was called bi-polar). After trying the random meds, i got very annoyed by the listless, numb feeling they left and decided to take a more proactive approach to it. From changing what i was listening to, eating, and the amount i worked out, to outright encouraging the more possitive emotions and suppressing the negative ones (i also hate it when people have 'pity parties', even moreso myself); over the next few years it started to make a marked difference. I'm also a big fan of doing things despite myself or my mood; ignoring my reluctance to do such activities.
ehowton
ehowton at 2006-04-29 06:47 (UTC) (Link)
Excellent! (The poem was funny though, right?)
ximo
ximo at 2006-04-29 17:54 (UTC) (Link)
Aye, of course.
drax0r
drax0r at 2006-04-29 21:17 (UTC) (Link)
my mother said to me

Your mother rocks. Moreso when she's had a thimbleful of tequila.



Have you ever been depressed? Sullen?

I can't say that I have.



But if I force myself to smile and be pleasant

This is amazingly annoying for the people around you who are in a damned bad mood and know that you're supposed to be too. Cheerful morning fuck.



Imagine holding on to that for weeks, months, even years.

Variety is the spice of life.



Of course I could have built this entire philosophy on something my mother said simply to be flippant and dismissive. Who knows!

My understanding is that this is similar to how the Baptist church was founded.
galinda822 at 2006-04-30 01:07 (UTC) (Link)

Since you love musicals....

Bye Bye Birdie---Put On A Happy Face

Gray skies are gonna clear up
Put on a happy face
Wipe off the clouds and cheer up
Put on a happy face

Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy
It's not your style
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
That you decided to smile

Pick out a pleasant outlook
Stick out that noble chin
Wipe off that full of doubt look
Snap on a happy grin

Spread sunshine all over the place
And just put on a happy
Put on a happy face

Gray skies are gonna clear up
Put on a happy face
Wipe off the clouds and cheer up
Put on a happy face

Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy
It's not your style
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
That you decided to smile

Pick out a pleasant outlook
Stick out that noble chin
Wipe off that full of doubt look
Snap on a happy grin

Spread sunshine all over the place
And just put on a happy
Put on a happy face


ehowton
ehowton at 2006-04-30 02:31 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Since you love musicals....

Fantastic! Thanks for that! Maybe they'll play it tonight at your party? I know I would!
galinda822 at 2006-04-30 05:10 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Since you love musicals....

No, Andruid didn't play that. But he did put on the Carpenter's for me!
ehowton
ehowton at 2006-04-30 05:43 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Since you love musicals....

Of course he did! Hope you had fun!
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-05-01 09:18 (UTC) (Link)
Superb read!
ehowton
ehowton at 2006-05-01 15:02 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks.
dentin
dentin at 2006-05-02 01:20 (UTC) (Link)
Your post strikes hard and deep, and brings me to respect you even more. Thank you.
ehowton
ehowton at 2006-05-02 01:56 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for the kind words.
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