ehowton (ehowton) wrote,

Experiencing False Dichotomies

While its true I find experiencing strong negative and/or painful emotions simultaneously fascinating, I'm unsure I've ever had them teach me something entirely relevant - at least in a timely fashion - where I can immediately pick out the practical application. Here lately I've found that I am experiencing many things in black and white - either/or scenarios. This is so completely unlike me, that it has me both frightened and curious. Why I am seeing things in this manner pushes it to the top of my priority list; an emergency request for cycles on the symmetric multiprocessing supercomputer part of my brain. If I am experiencing things with a side of cognitive distortion, any resulting conclusions will be flawed. Knowing this is usually enough to self-correct, but not this time. I experience it over and over and over. To answer the question then, one must take a broader view of oneself.

A high-level view of myself reveals that I am under a tremendous amount of emotional anguish, something usually countered with adequate energy. Given my 80-hour Disaster Recovery exercise week and the extraordinarily busy weeks which both preceded and followed it, compounded with my "busy brain" episodes, I have surely depleted my reserves. Being aware of this, I know its not real - that things aren't really as dire as my mind is making them out to be. But what about those who aren't aware that black and white is a distorted view of reality?

I've suggested to others that their black and white thinking is wrong, but such a subjective term causes issues among the black and white thinking crowd - a problematic Ouroboros indeed! Especially when that crowd perceives any argument against such thinking as an ad hominem attack (Intentionally Interpreting Any Criticism as an Insult). Why just last week my boss commented on the limiting nature of judging cognitively distorted thinkers! As an aside, the nihilist crowd has so much going for them in non-interference as far as I've been able to tell. I really do admire them despite being antithetically hard-wired.

Simplistically, I've proven that black and white thinkers are emotionally stunted because I became a black and white thinker during a time when I was suffering from the same. I totally get it now. All this time having been argued against the concept, I've proven it true via emotional distress. The only difference as far as I can tell is that I wasn't emotionally retarded before, and won't be emotionally retarded afterwards. And if I am I will still understand, by virtue of having *not* been emotionally retarded at some point, that what I see, or think, or create, is not reality.

Its too bad those who have only ever experienced life as such couldn't have similar, yet opposite, "temporary sanity" to learn the same lesson, and have - at least for awhile - something real to compare to their reality. Then they could blog about that one time they weren't retarded and understood that everything they ever thought was real, wasn't.

The point is, I can now state with authority something along the lines of, "Your conclusion is flawed because your thought process is stupid. I know this because once, when I was retarded, I had stupid thought processes too which led to flawed conclusions."

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