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Objects In Space

Posted on 2013.03.19 at 00:00


michelle1963 at 2013-03-19 14:09 (UTC) (Link)
So often, when I have asked someone why he thinks a particular thing, the answer I receive is not based on a logical construct, the answer is instead based on how that person feels. If one can push the question further. "Okay, so why do you feel that way?" The two answers I overwhelmingly receive are, "I don't know, I just do," or, "That's how I was raised." At that point in the conversation, it usually becomes apparent that there is something sacred about feelings or how the person was raised as a justification for those feelings, and the conversation comes to an end. Any further questions are met with resistance. At times, I have had the perception these individuals are afraid to question their emotions, but I am not sure why. The closest I can come is that doing so would make them look at their underlying worldview, their foundations. And that this is somehow sacrosanct.

Edited at 2013-03-19 02:13 pm (UTC)
ehowton at 2013-03-19 14:29 (UTC) (Link)
I've never had the opportunity to respond to "That's how I was raised" but it seems an astute answer to the question, one with much more to work with than the former.
michelle1963 at 2013-03-19 23:32 (UTC) (Link)
The response does give one a bit more to work with than, "I don't know; I just do." However, I haven't had much luck. :/ Often this seems to be sacred ground.
ehowton at 2013-03-19 23:46 (UTC) (Link)
I can see that. Funny how it presupposes our parents didn't experience the same fears or doubts we may experience, or that there may have been errors or flaws in how they were raised, especially given the very different cultural circumstances surrounding the environment in which they were brought up or any specific stressors which may have influenced them during the entire course of their lives. My mother has changed her point of view on many things as she coursed through the stages of life, even recanting some of the things she once believed. She did this through a series self-questioning and logical deduction. But sure, how she raised me was *perfect* because she's my mom?

But your right - everything is up for question except that which is not. Good times.
michelle1963 at 2013-03-20 00:41 (UTC) (Link)
Yes. In reference to parents having fears and doubts: My dad was always angry at his parents; his father in particular. Blamed his dad for a lot of the emotional/psychological problems he endured. Then my dad came across a letter his dad had written to his own mother (my dad's grandmother) when he was 35. In the letter, he had imparted to his mother all of his fears, all of his concerns and doubts.

I never read the letter, but my dad told me, it made him realize that his dad had been young, confused, and stressed, and doing his best to deal with life. It allowed my father to see his father as person, not just dad, and it allowed him to forgive his father.

The concept that parents aren't perfect, aren't the last word, is an idea that everyone would say they understand at the abstract level, but most cannot apply it at the emotional level.
Angel of Def, with my rhymes against humanity.
homunculus at 2016-01-09 15:31 (UTC) (Link)
i think it's akin to ego death in some people. it's kind of scary to poke at your foundations and find they're basically swiss cheese. so most would rather just not think about it.
ehowton at 2016-01-09 19:00 (UTC) (Link)
I couldn't live that way.
Angel of Def, with my rhymes against humanity.
homunculus at 2016-01-09 20:55 (UTC) (Link)
indeed. but lots of people do. lol
michelle1963 at 2016-01-10 01:44 (UTC) (Link)
I would agree. Very astute diagnosis. Unfortunately, that swiss cheese foundation may fail in the worst way at the worst time, if not shored up occasionally.
Angel of Def, with my rhymes against humanity.
homunculus at 2016-01-10 01:51 (UTC) (Link)
indeed, which explains the spectacular breakdowns we see occasionally, at least partially. p.s. great icon.
michelle1963 at 2016-01-10 02:31 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! :D
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