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Comprehending the Incomprehensible

Posted on 2013.08.18 at 00:00

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Quicksilvermad
quicksilvermad at 2013-08-18 14:56 (UTC) (Link)
Jay Baruchel: No, Jesus and God are the same. There's the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!
James Franco: It's like Neapolitan ice cream.


As I matured (and am still doing so), I looked back on how I behaved when I was part of the church and did not like what I saw. I saw a bully who passive aggressively told her friends that they should pray for salvation because "I [was] worried you're going to Hell." I saw people who weren't very good friends at all. I saw that all I was doing was repeating what I'd been told and "believing" it. I didn't question anything.

Then I grew up.

I saw how superficial my "friends" were. I heard the things they said behind my back ("she must be a dyke, she never dates and she dresses like a boy."). I did not see "God's love" in these people. I didn't see acceptance. I didn't see a Christ-like attitude. And with each sermon sounding more and more like ones I'd heard before—each hymn becoming a chore instead of praise—I decided that church wasn't the place for me.

So is there a God? Many religions share similar belief systems but call their god different things. If there was a God, would he really be picky about what we called Him? Or would He just be happy that we have enough faith to believe in some higher power? I do believe that there was a dude named Jesus (or his name was something very close to that) who had some great ideas about how to treat everybody with love and respect, but was he the physical manifestation of God? Or was he just some guy who was good at public speaking?

I don't know what I believe now. And that sometimes troubles me. Like you say, ideas can change, but beliefs are supposed to be immutable. So, how is it possible that my beliefs have changed? Or was I only committed to the idea of prosthelytizing Christianity when I was younger? Was I really capable of understanding the concept of an all-powerful being watching over us? I'm not sure I was. I certainly always had trouble with the concept of blind faith (I need hard evidence). So, perhaps it wasn't a belief to begin with.
ehowton
ehowton at 2013-08-18 15:17 (UTC) (Link)
I never placed you with the rest of the herd. And beliefs are SUPPOSED to change. That's the only way we know we're thinking! (I even authored a little graphic here and discussed why "sticking to ones principles" is the definition of close-minded: http://ehowton.livejournal.com/447571.html)

The problem seems to be society's understanding of how belief works.

Nothing about what you've disclosed the past year had surprised me in the slightest. I've been awfully proud of your growth and can even disclose what is probably coming next for you - a complete disdain for the dichotomy of politics. It will be interesting to see if I am right about that (given enough time) as its another one of my (numerous) theories.

:P
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