The Empirical Manifesto

We passed the cologne counter shopping for school clothes at Dillard's and the boy asked, "Are you going to buy me a gift-set of cologne?" Puzzled, I replied, "No, but we can discuss alternatives when we return home." I discovered later his hip, urban friend in Wichita had a Ralph Lauren gift set they utilized when he was last there.

And by alternatives, I do mean, alternatives; knock-offs. The next morning I had all my colognes laid out on the table - I don't have many, three or four bottles and this set of oil I got at the Al Rashid (what we affectionately called the TCN) Mall in Saudi - A little store named Mahmood Ahmed Perfumery and Gifts.

Acknowledging there are "new" (probably considered "edgy") colognes on the market - and we could see about getting those if he preferred - I was going to run him through the classics; scents which have stood the test of time (minus Explorer which apparently they stopped making around the time I bought mine).

After he identified his favorite as Aspen, I revealed receiving more compliments from random women while wearing that than any other scent (Polo Black is a close second). "And now a warning," I concluded. "No one, ever, will make fun of you for wearing too little. You will be shocked and ashamed at how many people will mock you for wearing too much."