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Real Life Assumptions

Posted on 2014.12.19 at 16:00
Current Location: 67212

I had a new friend recently block me on Facebook. I only discovered he blocked me when someone else acknowledged him by name - a name which was no longer accessible to me. Last I'd heard, he'd temporarily disabled his account while he was on vacation; to avoid unnecessary distractions. To say the least, I was shocked at this discovery, as we'd been communicating very well up to that point, and I considered him a friend.

I was rather disappointed.

My first thought was to send a preemptive apology. I must have said something which caused him to block me and just go on with his life without comment. What could it have been? My mind was suddenly abuzz with past conversations and possible misunderstandings. But something stopped me from sending that email - everything I'd concocted was based upon assumption.

Realizing my reaction was the very thing I rail against, I resisted - despite not being able to come up with any other explanations for my friend's behavior. I had *just* written my Silent Killer post and here I was ready to form an opinion and take action on an assumption. The idea isn't to not have them - we all do - the idea is to not let them control us. Even though I couldn't think of any other reason to have been blocked, I consciously decided to wait it out with an open mind. Difficult to be sure, but nothing was going to be solved by acting on impulse.

Several days later I got an email from my friend who's phone had died while on vacation, and upon returning home had decided to embrace a less-distracted life without Facebook, deleting all his contacts except immediate family with which Facebook was his only means of communication. He decided he would simply email his small circle of closest friends, of which I was now a part of.

Being aware of how assumption can alter reality saved me the embarrassment of later apologizing for my irrational thoughts, and now I have a new data-point for future issues which will no doubt arise.

* Originally posted to PyschoticToday.com


(Deleted comment)
ehowton at 2014-12-20 16:41 (UTC) (Link)
Many years ago now, yes. I created a shell account to watch a single group. The story was allegorical.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2014-12-20 03:57 (UTC) (Link)
I didn't de-friend you from Facebook, I just didn't friend you on Facebook.
ehowton at 2014-12-20 16:42 (UTC) (Link)
I appreciate the distinction.
raingirl26 at 2014-12-20 08:38 (UTC) (Link)
so ridiculously easy to make assumptions and jump to conclusions - especially online!

good job restraining yourself. i, on the other hand, am continuing to eat the cap'n crunch right out of the box as i type this...
ehowton at 2014-12-20 16:42 (UTC) (Link)
There's a nautical name I've not heard in awhile.
Lelf Treperra
ubet_cha at 2014-12-22 17:14 (UTC) (Link)
Unusual of him to do that. Maybe he didn't know he was over reacting? I only avoid friending people if they are distinctly irrational or connected to my wife's ex-husband. Basically people that can lead to some sort of trouble. FB does seem to be a good way to stay in touch with family and friends though.
ehowton at 2014-12-24 04:06 (UTC) (Link)
Made perfect sense to me since I've done the same with my primary account. Too much dichotomous bickering on there.

CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2014-12-24 03:42 (UTC) (Link)
Talking about assumptions, after 27 years I was finally thanked by a random stranger today while at the doctors office for my military service.

Edited at 2014-12-24 03:47 am (UTC)
ehowton at 2014-12-24 04:07 (UTC) (Link)
Like Michael Ironside's character in Starship Troopers?
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2014-12-24 04:29 (UTC) (Link)
She saw my mutant left arm and Bamm Bamm" was wearing a field jacket that Tim had given him (with added Star Wars patches) and she assumed I had recently served. I thanked her kindly and explained that though I had valiantly served 3 years in Army JROTC and though I had accomplished everything my peers had, if not surpassed them, I was not allowed to serve my country.

I actually told her I wish I had lost my hand in the service of my country.

Edited at 2014-12-24 04:58 am (UTC)
codekitten at 2015-01-03 11:59 (UTC) (Link)
"My mind was suddenly abuzz with past conversations and possible misunderstandings."

I used to do this, to probably an unhealthy level. I work hard to not do this any more based on my own data. Every time I would apologize for something, the other person would have no idea what I was talking about! It was a good lesson.

I still do it sometimes but now I try to quiet it quicker and not act on it.
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