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Asleep at the Wheel

Posted on 2006.07.07 at 16:13
Current Location: 63114
Current Mood: blech
Current Music: Valley of the Kings score
Tags: , , , , , ,
You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Every once in a while - not often mind you - I simply cannot handle the fact that every single user in this building sincerely believes that IT should be responsible for the contents and information which might be relevant to the success and well being of their corporate health and personal job security BECAUSE IT IS CONTAINED ON EITHER A MICROSOFT WORD DOCUMENT, AN EXCEL DOCUMENT OR TRANSMITTED VIA EMAIL!

Don't... don't care?

As a 36-year-old IT Manager, I guess the Dell Catalog isn't really geared toward me. I ran across a two-page ad on their new XPS desktops and laptops which read, (lower case 'g') "get right up in their grill." After asking around, I discovered that today's youth who primarily associate themselves with the "hip-hop" lifestyle, now wear jewelry on their teeth. In my limited understanding of these things, they apparently transform your mouth into something which represents the front grill of a car. So in fact, if you were to purchase this XPS, and game on it, you could in fact "get up in your [opponents] teeth." (possibly face but I'm unclear on the distinction.) Fantastic!

...time passes.

One of my Desktop guys places the song 'Grillz' by some rapper named 'Nelly' on my computer and auto-launches it for me. Nice.

It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.

Two nights ago (I don't know why I never managed to write what I actually dreamed the night before) I dreamed that my father and I were cleaning the house, or a shed or something, and we found a like-new, perfectly functioning record player which was simply dusty. We cleaned it up and it sparkled! We hooked it up to the computer and ripped his LP of Boys from Brazil. What a nice dream! I think I'm obsessing about that soundtrack. I even did a title search on DirecTV to see if it was in the wings (of course it wasn't). Bah!


It's been a busy, stressful week at work. I arrive home exhausted every evening, and here lately not at all on time. Wednesday night I grilled (get right up in their grill) chicken and my wife prepared a bed of salad to place it on. It was fantastic. We drank a bottle of spatlese with dinner, then sat on the back deck and smoked cigars while the kids played inside. Last night, it was the same chicken on a bed of mixed carrot and spinach couscous with straw mushrooms - again, fantastic. Then cigars & brandy on the deck while watching the children swim. That really does help take the stress out of my day.

Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

The real-live Bob's we're currently dealing with have created a website which allows us to put in our time in 15 minute intervals. As dumb as that sounds by itself, the web page they've created times out every 15 minutes and requires another login. How ignorant is that? So - the guy who mocks me openly with "what do you use that linux box for anyway, huh?" (which I had to give up to put on a users desktop a few weeks ago) asks me, "What can we do about this?" To which I reply, "If I had my linux box..." so I'm thinking of trying one of drax0r's wget scripts, possibly trying to encapsulate username and password in a secure socket layer to play keep alive. I don't know if it will work, but I'll give it a shot. Assholes.

Robert William Kramer
1944 - 2006
Robert William Kramer, 60, passed away Saturday, July 1, 2006, in Arlington.

Funeral: 1 p.m. Saturday, July 8, in Arlington Funeral Home Chapel.

Memorials: Texas Girls Choir, 4449 Camp Bowie Blvd., Fort Worth, Texas 76109.

Robert was the son of E.W. and Dorothy Kramer of O'Neill, Neb. A 1962 graduate of O'Neill High School, he attended the University of Nebraska in Lincoln in 1971.

Robert served in the National Guard 1962-1966. He retired in November 2005 from National Cartography and GEO Spacial Center, Fort Worth.

He was a loving father and grandpa. He will be fondly remembered.

Survivors: Son, Cathan and wife, Gale, of Burleson; daughters, Lauriann and husband, Dusty, of Arlington and Caitlin of Fort Worth; Granddaughter, Robyn; brothers, Tom of Los Angeles, Calif., and Todd and Bruce of Lincoln, Neb.; and sisters, Beth of Minneapolis, Minn., and Rene of O'Neill, Neb.

One of my first jobs at my last client was to put Big Brother monitoring on all the servers there. I was given my own box to build-out as I desired and to just 'make it happen.' That's what I do, so no big deal. There were four boxes I did not have root access to, so I emailed the owner of the box asking for privileges so I could accomplish my task. The next day, I get this nasty email back from this surly bastard, "Don't you touch my boxes. Don't you ever touch my boxes!" Hmmmm. Taken back a bit, I ask around. "Oooooh, that's Bob. Don't mess with Bob." It seems he'd been in government service so long, and was so surly, that every one was afraid of him.

Not one to back down from a challenge, I peer over at his desk - messy to be sure - and get the lay of the land...lots of empty coffee cups. I bring in some cream & sugar the next day just in case. I make a strong pot of coffee at my desk and have a cup. When that's finished, I pick up my pot and announce, "I have a pot of fresh Starbucks I can't finish, would any one like a top off? You sir?" As I peer into his cube. He accepts and I introduce myself. When he tells me his name, I mention, "Oh of course, you sent me that email..."

We became (not 'tight' exactly) but he came to respect my opinion and I often consulted with him. He sure was a surly bastard - to those who were afraid of him, but never to us, the unix guys on his team.

Take care Bob.


galinda822 at 2006-07-08 03:44 (UTC) (Link)

Your "grillz" are on order!!!

Being as you are now living in St. Louis you should probably be aware that Nelly is a hometown homey. His "posse" are called the St. Lunatics!

Sorry to hear about Bob!
ehowton at 2006-07-08 12:53 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Your "grillz" are on order!!!

And yet people tell me his known outside of St. Louis. I never heard of him until I got here.

Besides, I gotta go work on my 'tailgatez'
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2006-07-08 03:57 (UTC) (Link)
I remember your stories about him.

I think all surly bastards can get along. Maybe that's why we get along so well.
ehowton at 2006-07-08 13:54 (UTC) (Link)
Don't get up all in my grill, yo!
leonardii at 2006-07-08 13:46 (UTC) (Link)

photo of you

Is that photo recent? Looks like you've lost some weight compadre!

Sorry about Bob.

-The Renegade
ehowton at 2006-07-08 13:53 (UTC) (Link)

Re: photo of you

No sir, that would be Bob. Don't fuck with Bob. He'll eat your testicles for breakfast.
leonardii at 2006-07-08 15:17 (UTC) (Link)

Re: photo of you

No - the LITTLE photo at the top - with you beside the grill. Is-it-recent? Have you lost weight?

Just making observances. Haven't seen you in ages!
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2006-07-08 16:49 (UTC) (Link)

Re: photo of you

No, that is an old pic of Eric. He has gained much...much more wait since you have seen him last.

He has to turn sideways to get in doors now!!!!
galinda822 at 2006-07-08 17:15 (UTC) (Link)

Re: photo of you

He's actually quite svelte!!!! ;)
ehowton at 2006-07-08 19:27 (UTC) (Link)

Re: photo of you

Svelte. Yup, that's me. I think I need to bulk up.
ehowton at 2006-07-08 19:39 (UTC) (Link)

Re: photo of you

I'm the lyrical Jesse James!
ehowton at 2006-07-08 19:28 (UTC) (Link)

Re: photo of you

Yes, that's me, in Boyd, standing adjacent my grill - cooking up some beefy goodness!
ehowton at 2006-07-08 22:38 (UTC) (Link)

Re: photo of you

Yeah, that's me. And I haven't changed any - which means you just remember me much fatter than I really am. Thanks.
leonardii at 2006-07-10 03:16 (UTC) (Link)

Re: photo of you

Hey, no problem. With friends like these...

Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-07-08 13:46 (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry to hear about Bob. Though I never knew him, that one night you were posting pictures in the chat room, his came up. The way you guys talked about him...there was such a reverence. I kinda liked him. He looked like he knew his shit.

ehowton at 2006-07-08 13:52 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for your kind words.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-07-08 13:48 (UTC) (Link)
by the by, the guy who is running that website is an ass. Don't solve his problem completely...just make it so you and your cohorts don't have to keep logging in, yet everyone else does. When he inquires as to why this is, shrug your shoulders and say, "I don't know. Go hire a compatent programmer."

I wonder how many chuckles you and Tony would get out of that if so excecuted.
ehowton at 2006-07-08 13:51 (UTC) (Link)
I'm not solving his problem, I'm arrogantly and overtly bypassing his retardedness for the sake of my staff, and my staff alone.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-07-08 13:56 (UTC) (Link)
thank you for more eloquently restating what I have already said. You may have a cookie.
ehowton at 2006-07-08 14:20 (UTC) (Link)

I'd repeat that part where my statement differs and contridicts yours if I thought it would do any good.
drax0r at 2006-07-08 16:35 (UTC) (Link)
I guess the Dell Catalog isn't really geared toward me

Dude, you're gettin' a grill!

today's youth who primarily associate themselves with the "hip-hop" lifestyle, now wear jewelry on their teeth.

Last night after the movie we stopped at 7-11 to provision. On the way out to the car a guy in a Laker's jersy and a mouth completely full of decorated gold teeth asked us if we had a car jack. I didn't know that at first, because I was far too distracted by his 'grill' to have heard what he said. I couldn't help but think of your post, and using the dell to 'get up in his grill'

I remember fondly your stories about the surly Bob. I'm sorry to hear about his passing.
ehowton at 2006-07-08 19:38 (UTC) (Link)
Seriously dude, if you're talking about the 7-11 by your house, at that hour, and some dude with a mouff full of shit used the words 'car' and 'jack' in the same sentence, I probably would have shat myself.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2006-07-09 08:08 (UTC) (Link)
Remember, Tony carries several guns with him.
ehowton at 2006-07-09 15:13 (UTC) (Link)
Too true.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2006-07-09 19:56 (UTC) (Link)
Yo! Yo!

If somebody got up in his grill, he would fill there grill full of lead.
CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2006-07-09 19:57 (UTC) (Link)
You get what I'm saying dog?
ehowton at 2006-07-12 19:26 (UTC) (Link)
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