Its 2015 and Apple can't receive Android MMS without routing the image to a fucking website, nor can Android receive Apple MMS without routing the image to a fucking website.
I called AT&T and they activated MMS (because, I guess, it wasn't) then pushed an MMS patch to my phone (because, I guess, the Moto X requires special MMS permissions), and now all is good! JUST TO BE SURE, I NEED EVERYONE TO SEND ME BOOBIE PICS!!!
Oh wait, this is a company phone. Nevermind :(