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Easy Riders

Posted on 2006.08.03 at 17:35
Current Location: 63134
Current Music: Paul Oakenfold: Tranceport

My wife's cousin's husband is a salesman for Big Dog motorcycles. He came to Irving, Texas in early '99 for an expo at Market Hall. Afterward, we drove out to Saltgrass Steakhouse for dinner, then he announced to my wife and I that he had some PR to do at a bar named Easyriders (later changing its name to 'Strokers' in 2003) and would we like to attend? Sure, sounds like fun. I hadn't been to a bar in several years (I used to spend a lot of time at the VFW in Plattsmouth, Nebraska, as I was a card-carrying member). Well friends, Easyriders was nothing like the VFW.

Everyone there was a biker, and in leather, studs, tassels, or all three. I was completely out of place. I did, therefore, what I do best in these situations - I lit up a cigar and started drinking beer. This blond in a very revealing leather bra-like thing and skin-tight leather pants sits next to me at the table, across from my wife and her cousin and starts visiting with us. Apparently her and my wife's cousin's husband knew each other. Every time she spoke to me, and I turned to look at her, all I could see was cleavage. It was difficult making eye contact with her. I started sweating. My wife and her cousin, however, stared directly at her breasts with mouths agape. I was jealous at this apparent double-standard.

It had begun to rain outside, and the ceiling dripped in places, one of those places being directly to the right of this woman. She kept inching closer to me to get away from the drops. Finally, she put her hand on my leg as she was telling the story of her being on Oprah the week before during her 'makeover' series, in which her hair had gone from straight down her back, to adult-film star big hair.

I excused myself and went to the restroom. Standing at the urinal, there's an issue of 'Easy Rider' magazine behind Plexiglas at eye level, bolted to the wall with the girl I'm sitting next to on the cover. I return to my seat and ask, "Are you Ms. Easy Rider 1998?" She was, and pulled out an 8x10 glossy and signed it for me.

I've not been to a bar since.

It has been suggested that my gastronomical distress might have been caused by my over-indulgence at the ice cream social the day before. I agreed. And to test that theory, I over-indulged again today is response to the email asking that we eat the rest of the ice cream until it was gone. I'll let you know the results of my experiment.

Just a reminder that as drax0r will be out of town until Tuesday, jesskd26 won't be posting for five (5) days. "She" will magically begin posting again once he arrives back from his trip. "She" will have been 'busy' during his absence.

Thank you.


CeltManX, Devlin O' Coileáin
celtmanx at 2006-08-04 04:09 (UTC) (Link)
So why didn't you put your hand on her leg???

Sorry about the gastronomical distress!!!

Mysterious that Jessica only posts when Tony is in town huh????
ehowton at 2006-08-04 14:06 (UTC) (Link)
I don't think it's gastronomical distress. I don't know what it is. I'm going to the doctor today. It could be my gall bladder, or a pulled muscle. I don't know.

Very mysterious indeed!
ex_crowy at 2006-08-04 13:33 (UTC) (Link)
Ah, you were kind enough to leave me a link and I didn't even see it!
ehowton at 2006-08-04 14:07 (UTC) (Link)
The destination, in this case, is more important than the journey.
Tomas (pronunced Thomas)
professortom at 2006-08-04 22:13 (UTC) (Link)
You think she'd go for a guy like me?
ehowton at 2006-08-04 22:13 (UTC) (Link)
leonardii at 2006-08-04 22:30 (UTC) (Link)
I've not been to a bar since.

I don't blame you. Anything after that must be a real letdown.

Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change -- don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue

-From One Night In Bangkok
ehowton at 2006-08-04 22:40 (UTC) (Link)
What happens when the brains of ABBA decide to write an Musical. And you say you don't like musicals. I think you're lying. You'd also enjoy Candide sir, as the lyrics, in part, were written by Dorothy Parker. Oh yes...
leonardii at 2006-08-04 22:43 (UTC) (Link)
There are exceptions to everything. On this I will concede.
ehowton at 2006-08-04 22:47 (UTC) (Link)
Of course, and I apologize. Perhaps it would be quicker just to list the single musical you dislike?
leonardii at 2006-08-05 01:17 (UTC) (Link)
Heaven help my heart,
Suddenly I've run out of secrets!
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