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120-hours of Mom

Posted on 2017.01.16 at 12:42
Current Location: 67114

Mom has been bedridden for over three years with both the autoimmune hidradenitis suppurativa, and dementia, and she has been rapidly declining for a number of reasons since dad passed away nearly a month ago. First and foremost, he was feeding her pain medication above and beyond what the nursing home was supplying because (and I know this sounds completely asinine) even with dementia she had to request them. Which, as you may be able to imagine, someone with dementia doesn't actually do. So when he passed, she was on her own, and in increasingly greater amounts of pain.

Additionally, dad was shipping her off to surgery once a month to keep her with him - he had all the hospice and DNR paperwork filled out, but hadn't signed any of it, choosing, at the last minute each time, to rush her to surgery. After discussing everything with my brother, I signed those papers when he passed away, and we placed her on hospice Thursday evening.

It was a relief to finally see her pain-free.

Monday morning I saw I had a voice mail from Shelly at the nursing home, who asked me to return her call. I did, but discovered she was in a meeting. "May I perhaps speak to another nurse?" I was told Shelly is the nursing home Administrator, and if she needed to speak to me, none of the nurses would know what it was about. Fine. I drove up there instead.

Imagine now my surprise when I found my mother absent. Additionally, there are two Shelly's (who apparently don't disambiguate themselves from one another and it was nurse Shelly as opposed to Administrator Shelly who'd called) and they'd shipped mom off to the ER on the authority of the hospice nurse who was now in charge of mom's care. I talked to mom's primary nurse (not nurse Shelly who was off-shift) who couldn't understand why a hospice nurse would take that action, and to get to the bottom of it was going to have a member of the hospice team contact me. When that finally happened, and I explained the situation, the hospice team member couldn't understand either, so wanted to contact mom's primary nurse, who I'd just spoken to, to see if she could figure out why her hospice nurse rushed mom to the emergency room once again.

The saga continues.

Hospice nurse said that mom's feeding tube was blocked with fecal matter, and they consider feeding tubes comfort care, which is why she was sent to have that corrected.


Angel of Def, with my rhymes against humanity.
homunculus at 2017-01-16 19:50 (UTC) (Link)
that shit is ridic.

(p.s. your html is showing for your edit gif.)
ehowton at 2017-01-16 21:40 (UTC) (Link)
My HTML is showing?

Angel of Def, with my rhymes against humanity.
homunculus at 2017-01-16 21:44 (UTC) (Link)
i thought you'd wanna know. though actually i guess it was just the link showing w/out the html. lol
raingirl26 at 2017-01-17 06:24 (UTC) (Link)

so sad

sorry to hear of the difficulties with your mom! the lack of follow through in those situations is so unfair to everyone. dignity, hard to come by in one's waning years.
Missus Emm
missus_emm at 2017-01-17 15:35 (UTC) (Link)

Oh no. That must have all been very fraught for you. It does sound like a reasonable decision but I do hope they don't make any more mistakes.

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