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Dallas Pegasus

Terry Bradshaw

Posted on 2006.08.25 at 13:47
Current Location: 63134
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I recently watched the chic-flick Failure to Launch with my wife and galinda822 during Movie Night. It wasn't a bad chic-flick. And I enjoyed watching Terry Bradshaw. I like Terry Bradshaw. But this was not always the case...

The Dallas Cowboys is America's Team. More people know the face of Tom Landry than they do of our own President, even in other countries. Long before our team was known for being in the slammer more than on the field, we played ball. Good ball. Football. We've made more Super Bowl appearances than any other team.

During my youth there were always two teams that would give us pause: The Philadelphia Eagles, and the Pittsburgh Steelers. This was back in the day when Roger Staubach, Number 12, quarterbacked for the Cowboys, and he was every kids hero. I was no exception. We were always nervous on game day, and during those late 70's, we always seemed to be going head-to-head with Pittsburgh. They'd snatched more than one Super Bowl win from us during the Big Game. Roger Staubach vs. Terry Brandshaw. He was everything my hero wasn't - uncouth, rude, loud, and had a mouth like a sailor. The antithesis of America's Team's Golden Boy! (Even daring to also wear the Number 12!)

My mother had heard a sermon on calling down righteous curses on people in this day and age by a young pastor. As is usual in sermons like this, every one heard something a little different. My mother thought on this long and hard. Then one day, during half-time, here comes Terry Bradshaw. I remember well his sweaty golden hair, missing teeth, and the black pit of death under his eyes. He even looked like a demon to me. And there he was cursing up a storm on National Television, and worse, using our Lord's name in vain. My mother had had enough! She called down a curse on this man to "Put a stop to his evil ways." This was probably 1978. He was injured and set out the rest of the game. My mother felt that she had been vindicated.

Of course when she relayed this story, she was highly chastised by her friends for this move, who heard the sermon in a different way.

Fast forward to 1986. My mother is in John Deer's Saginaw Implement store in Rhome, TX. She's having a bad hair day, feels like crap, and has to pick up a part for my father. She walks in and is surrounded by a bunch of cowboys. She HATES being the only woman in a place like this. She sits to wait for her part, and in walks...Terry Bradshaw (he has a small ranch out near us in Westlake, TX). He looks over at her, but she's so embarrassed at the stunt she pulled in 1978, she can't make eye contact with him! To add fuel to the fire, he's recently retired, and been depressed. He carries on with the other men about the extent of his injuries.

My mother quickly takes receipt of her part, and leaves.


dreamkatch at 2006-08-26 19:05 (UTC) (Link)
LOL that was a pretty good coincidence! But if that was the result of her righteous curse, it still wouldn't have happened unless it was supposed to. God's plan, n' all that, right?
ehowton at 2006-08-26 19:16 (UTC) (Link)
That was her thinking, yes. Too funny.
leonardii at 2006-08-27 01:38 (UTC) (Link)
Kick his ass, Seabass!!
ehowton at 2006-08-29 15:34 (UTC) (Link)
Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
leonardii at 2006-08-29 17:30 (UTC) (Link)
Uh sir, you're... you're spraying everywhere...
drax0r at 2006-08-26 20:46 (UTC) (Link)
America national sport is called footballs. It very similar to our sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field, and then have a party.
ehowton at 2006-08-29 15:35 (UTC) (Link)
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:00 (UTC) (Link)
who the fuck is that in your avatar? and wtf is JAGSHEMASH!?
ehowton at 2006-08-29 21:09 (UTC) (Link)
It's my main man, Ali G in da House!

Jagshemash - "how are you?" (from the Polish "Jak się masz?" or from "Yakshimusiz", a greeting in many Central Asian languages including the Kazakh language), sometimes used as a greeting
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:00 (UTC) (Link)
who the fuck is that in your avatar?
ehowton at 2006-08-29 21:10 (UTC) (Link)
Dude, that's drax0r (in his Cowboy days) before he gained weight.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:13 (UTC) (Link)
surely you jest, thou knave
ehowton at 2006-08-29 21:26 (UTC) (Link)
Ask him.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:28 (UTC) (Link)
I will.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:01 (UTC) (Link)
too bad she didn't introduce herself.
ehowton at 2006-08-29 21:24 (UTC) (Link)
It's possible you actually failed to comprehend the story in its entirety.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:27 (UTC) (Link)
I understand the story. I was musing over what I would have done had I been her. I would have introduced myself to her. How very dark of me.
ehowton at 2006-08-29 21:38 (UTC) (Link)
Perhaps. I see where you would have introduced yourself if you'd done the same thing she did to him. What I don't see, however, is how you would introduce yourself to someone had you been extremely embarrassed by your actions. That's the point - not what she did or why.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:42 (UTC) (Link)
oh. But let's not forget, I'm an asshole
ehowton at 2006-08-29 21:53 (UTC) (Link)
Fine. You're an asshole. But that really doesn't apply to you, personally being very embarassed to the point where you want to disappear instead of making a show of yourself.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:55 (UTC) (Link)
I have been there more times then I care to count, and I fear, will continue to find myself in such a place every day for the rest of my life.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:19 (UTC) (Link)
I've wanted to see Failure to Launch as well as Must Love Dogs. They both looked intriguing.
ehowton at 2006-08-29 21:23 (UTC) (Link)
And as a bonus in Failure to Launch you get to see Terry Bradshaw's naked ass.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:26 (UTC) (Link)
um...yeah...I'm looking foward to that.
ehowton at 2006-08-29 21:27 (UTC) (Link)
I know you are, pal. I know you are.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2006-08-29 21:28 (UTC) (Link)
God damn! And you talk about me being a comment machine.
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