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Eric

Land Speed Record

Posted on 2005.06.29 at 20:14
Current Music: Some random techno station on sirius radio
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Although this may be difficult for some of you to believe, the following account is true:

I left work at I-20 & 35W at 1800, and never made it over 25mph for a full 15 minutes. After that, however, I accelerated up to 85mph, and kept that poor car at 3/4 throttle. From work to I-45 is 40 miles, and from I-45 to Tony's is another 20. Not just any 20 miles, though, 20 miles through the 75 Central Expressway corridor! I was able to maintain 80mph+ through 75! At this point, traffic came to a standstill, so I veered off to 635 East...which was at a standstill just at the Greenville exit (which I took) and arrived at Tony's at 1700. A new record. I figure, with the initial fifteen minutes of traffic, I made it 60 miles across the Metroplex and though Downtown Dallas in just over 45 minutes!

Now then, a few things I'd like to say concerning that little jaunt:


  1. GET YOUR BUSTED-ASS RICE BURNER OUT OF THE LEFT HAND LANE!

  2. SPINNERS MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID - GET OUT OF THE LEFT HAND LANE!

  3. If you cannot talk on your cell phone and drive simultaneously, fine, just GET OUT OF THE LEFT HAND LANE!

  4. My used car was $8900, your new Euro-sedan was $70,000. Fantastic. Now GET THE FSCK OUT OF THE LEFT HAND LANE!

  5. If you're in the left hand lane, and some idiot is driving up behind you at 85 mph - GET OUT OF THEIR WAY!



Seriously, I could not believe how many greenish ToyotaHondas were just parked in the left hand lane, driven mostly my minorities, soaking up the negative attention. One woman (sorry ladies) was doing a good 75mph until she got on her phone. Instead of moving over or maintaining velocity, she slowed to a crawl in the left hand lane. Now, let's turn this around on me, ok? I'm going to type this very slowly so you can understand. If I am in the left hand lane driving 90mph, and some asshole comes up behind me at 135mph, I'm going to GET OUT OF HIS WAY.

Oh well. What are you going to do. There's more Indians in Dallas now than Texans. Maybe I'll move to Goa.

Comments:


Melanie
vember at 2005-06-30 13:32 (UTC) (Link)
But did the Bug go 300mph?

Nice tale, road-warrior. Maybe one day they'll build roads ala Austin's double-layered highway where only intelligent & capable drivers (& considerate? Hmm that sounds kinda funny, but it IS consideration that you're asking for as well, there) are allowed on that road.
ehowton
ehowton at 2005-06-30 15:56 (UTC) (Link)
To date Tony has purchased an Apple Mac Mini, an Apple ibook, an Apple PowerMac G5, and an Apple iPod. I feel certain that his next purchase will be a Volkswagen Bug. Probably the Turbo version.

The last time I was on a double-layered highway was in Philly, and I was able to scream across only via the same Five D's method; Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and....Dodge
drax0r
drax0r at 2005-06-30 18:34 (UTC) (Link)
You know, those are supposed to be very comfortable cars...
drax0r
drax0r at 2005-06-30 18:12 (UTC) (Link)
Instead of moving over or maintaining velocity, she slowed to a crawl in the left hand lane.

In all fairness, maintaining velocity is not necessarily something you want to do on the highway. Velocity is defined as speed in a given direction/the rate of change of position along a straight line with respect to time. She (and the rest of the cars on the road) would lose velocity the moment the road curved left or right. In fact, one could make an argument that since the road follows the curvature of the earth that nobody traversing said road had any velocity to begin with. While one might be able to maintain speed, velocity in a car is neigh impossible given the fact that the car is cruising on the outside of a sphere.
ehowton
ehowton at 2005-06-30 18:24 (UTC) (Link)
I've just changed your status from idiot savant to idiot.
drax0r
drax0r at 2005-06-30 18:30 (UTC) (Link)
Stop projecting your inadequacies upon me. I'll try to write using smaller words when addressing you in the future.
ehowton
ehowton at 2005-06-30 19:19 (UTC) (Link)
1 x 5 syllable word (used once)
1 x 4 syllable word (used five times)
6 x 3 syllable words (used once each)
11 x 2 syllable words (used once each)

What did you have in mind exactly?
drax0r
drax0r at 2005-06-30 19:24 (UTC) (Link)
Well I didn't think it was all that complex myself, but apparently you'd do better with monosyllabic words.

Its kind of funny that the word monosyllabic has so many syllables.
ehowton
ehowton at 2005-06-30 20:33 (UTC) (Link)
Yes.
drax0r
drax0r at 2005-06-30 20:54 (UTC) (Link)
kay
ehowton
ehowton at 2005-06-30 21:14 (UTC) (Link)
And for the record, velocity is a vector measurement of the rate and direction of motion. The scalar absolute value of velocity is speed. One unit of speed used for measuring purposes is known as miles per hour...despite the fact that the car is cruising on the outside of this sphere called Earth, or better put because of the physics involved in computational mechanics involved, because we're on this planet.
ehowton
ehowton at 2005-06-30 22:02 (UTC) (Link)
I acquiesce. My original statement was incorrect. The word 'speed' should have been used in place of 'velocity' because velocity is not a scalar value.
Tomas Gallucci
schpydurx at 2005-06-30 23:53 (UTC) (Link)
you and Tony have the most interesting arguments. I could just about join in except I don't want to be made a Lilliputian. I find your arguments fascinating.
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